Sleeping through - only 10 hours? How do I schedule?

[*Carrie*]

I know that looks bad and I should be relishing those 10 hours but I'm wondering how to work his schedule while he's doing that. My lo is 3 mo and recently started sleeping longer at night. I found he was cluster feeding on demand and that his bedtime was creeping late and later and then suddenly he was sleeping the 10 hours with a dream feed. My problem is that he used to go to bed around 7.30pm and dh and I would enjoy our evening but if we put him to bed then as we did last night he typically wakes around 5am and is bright eyed and bushy tailed following his feed and wont go back to sleep...  If we want him to sleep to a more acceptable wake up time then we have to delay his bedtime to closer to 9pm and we then lose our evening and find ourselves eating very late at night.
My questions are;-
1. Is this a common problem?
2. Do some babies just need 10 hours like this not the ideal 12? Can you eek them out?
3. What would you advise? Should we go back to the earlier bedtime and if so what should our strategy be after his feed when he wakes at 5-ish?

LO is on a 3 hour easy - would love it to be 7.30am wake up and 7.30 bedtime...
Thanks in advance!
Carrie

[donna_issabella]

Hi there Carrie,

If you could post your routine, including the amount of day sleep your LO is getting, that would help a great deal. Also if he has any props, how he falls asleep - independently or nursed/rocked/paci. That will help TPTB ( the powers that be) to be quicker in advising.

DI

[*Carrie*]

Ok - here's a best approximation. Nothing is set in stone and I have been responding to how well Rory has slept regarding a get up time so it has had some flexibility.

7.30am get up and bf
8am activity
9am wind down and sleep

10.30am bf
11am activity
12 pm wind down and sleep

1.30pm bf
2pm activity
3pm wind down and sleep

4pm bf
4.30pm activity
5.15pm wnd down and catnap

6pm bf
6.30 activity including bath and bedtime routine
7.30 sleep


9pm dreamfeed breastfeed

11.30pm dreamfeed bottle

So, that's what happens on a good day!
He goes down form ost of his daytime naps really well now and is managing to get to sleep independently within 10 minutes or so of me leaving him. He used to have a paci as a prop but has recently found his thumb so is able self soothe. During the day I leave a lullaby cd playing quietly in his room during his naps so that's the ony prop currently. Once he is sleeping however he frequently only lasts 50 minutes to an hour so wakes before his next feed. When he does I've been giving him a chance to get himself off to sleep seeing as he can do it at the beginning of the nap - sometimes he does manage it, other times I'll go in  after 10 minutes and try stroking him or giving him his paci - if that doesn't work and we're getting close to the feed I'll leave him watching his mobile with the blind slightly up to let him see it. He is quite content to lie there for the ten minutes or so until it is feed time. His catnap doesn't really work at all and he'll just lie there for the 30 minutes or so until I feed him - that has led to him falling asleep at the breast a bit and I've been putting him down for his snooze after a feed. His bedtimes were getting later because he wasn't managing to get off to sleep and I was then feeding him in the hope the extra calories would get him through the night - if I have fed him immediately before bedtime he has not had the bf dreamfeed, just the bottle... hope this all makes sense.

I had been judging our day based on when Rory naturally woke - so if he woke somewhere in the 6.30 - 7.30 range I would take his feed time as the start of our day and work the rest of the day from there. However I've since read that I should pick a wake up time and stick to it. Would you agree? If so, what would I do if he woke before then. Say I pick 7.30am and he wakes at 6.30. Feeds normally take about 30 mins. Should I be putting him back in his cot for half an hour and then offering him a 7.30am feed as the start of our day?? What about waking around 7am? Count that as the start of the day or what?? This is so confusing!!

In general he is a really content baby and putting on weight well. I'd really appreciate any words of wisdom.
Thanks
Carrie

[Colin Macs Mom]

Hi Carrie,

You're doing AMAZING!! Good job, you've obviously done well with getting to know LO and finding what works best.

It's true that some LOs need more or less sleep than the "norm" and that's fine. My DS always needed a little more. Just be sure that it's not a matter of him getting too much daytime sleep, robbing from night. Looking at your routine though I think you're doing just fine. You might shorten the catnap to 30 minutes instead of 45 but that's not mission critical.

Personally I do believe that choosing a wake time and sticking to it is very beneficial. But depending on your lifestyle maybe it doesn't matter so much. That's for you to decide, but think into the future - choosing a wake time when he's older and trying to switch from a more flexible start would be quite difficult.

[*Carrie*]

Thanks for your reply - here's what's been going on. It was a revelation to read other people's routines in the EASY forum and to see that for a lot of them the baby was waking and waiting for a feed -i.e. you don't need to feed them immediately on waking. Since reading that I've been choosing to let him lie in his cot listening to the radio and looking at his mobile if he wakes shortly before get up time - I don't let him go too long and if he is obviously really unhappy then I feed him. For instance this morning he woke at 7.05am but with mobile etc I didn't have to feed him until 7.15am. After that he had his usual activity then down for sleep a little earlier and he slept well so I was able to feed him at close to the usual 10.30am time and we're back on track. Having read other people's routines dh and I have decided to continue putting him to bed at a later time and just somehow manage to have our dinner while he is still around. He's lain in his cot for the duration one time happily sucking his hand and watching the mobile and other times he has sat in his bouncy seat. We've just got him a high chair so soon he can be sitting at the table beside us.
I don't think that we're robbing Peter during the day as regards to his naps because although his morning naps generally go well the afternoon ones are a bit touch and go and I don't think he has ever managed one of those catnaps - he makes all the right signals of being tired but just can't get off - I think the time in his cot either in the dark or watching his mobile is beneficial however - a form of chilling out of it's own.
So the plan is to put him down for the night around 8.30pm and just watch to see how things go. If he regularly wakes around 7-ish and feeds around 7.30am then great. After a while I believe we can work on getting his bedtime earlier by moving it forward in steps of 15mins at a time. Does this sound sensible?

[Colin Macs Mom]

Sounds absolutely sensible, you're obviously very in tune with your DS and his cues.