Calling all 2 year old Mom's --Help!

[Tori's Mom]

I need to know if this is a phase!!  My dd is 25 months and has never been a great sleeper.  However, with the help of Tracey's books, I had her on a great roll from around 18 months until 2 months ago.  She would go to bed without a fuss and would sleep beautifully for both bedtime and naps.  My dh and I went on a 4 day vacation and she stayed with my parents (who she is very comfortable with and has been left with them before) but she got really sick and we weren't there  .  I spent the next week after we got home reassuring her that we are still here for when she goes to bed and then started w/i w/o.  I have been doing this for over a month and we don't seem to be making progress.  She is still crying when she is put down (worse for naps than bedtime) and seems to escalate the crys when I go into the room.  I almost think I am making it worse now by going in because is does get more upset when I leave again.  I really wish we could go back to peaceful nap and bedtimes because she rested so much better and I didn't get screamed at hours out of the day!  Is this a phase or something that I am doing wrong?
TIA,
Jacki

[Layla]

Jackie, what about trying one of the other methods. Maybe GW would be best here especially if she's insecure about you leaving her again. This is the link to the sleep training methods for toddlers https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

Could you also post your routine?

Layla

[Tori's Mom]

I thought about the GW method but she knows how to put herself to sleep and she will play in her crib when I am in the room and will not settle and go to sleep.  She only seems to go on to sleep when I am not in the room (unless it is the middle of the night and she had a bad dream).  I am going to try a nightlight tonight and hope that it works to calm her at nighttime.
Her routine is :
7:30-8:00am- wake up
8-9am- play with Dad and cook breakfast
9-10am- eat breakfast
10-12- play with Dad or do errands if Dad is working
12-12:30pm- wind down routine for nap
12:30-2:30/3pm- nap
3-6:30pm- play or errands
6:30-7pm- Dinner
7-7:30- shower/bath or low key play
7:30-8pm-  bed time routine
8pm- bedtime

[Tori's Mom]

OK.  I need more help.
For the past 2 nights dd has been waking up screaming!  I wait to see if she will resettle but she will not so go in to reassure that I am here.  When I try to leave the room, she gives a very scared scream and going crazy.  So the past couple of nights, I have slept in her "big girl bed" that is in her room along with her crib.  I am not sleeping with her and not picking her up to comfort her but she is comforted by me being in the room with her.  I also tried a nightlight last night and she WOULD NOT go to sleep until the light was off.  She was 1.5 hours behind bedtime because of being wide awake with the light on.  As soon as it was off she crashed.

How do I get out of the room?  Do I continue to sleep in there for a couple more days so that she gains confidence or is all this just manipulation on her part?  I am going to put her down to bed at least 30 min early tonight but I know that her nap will be a mess because we have a birthday party this morning.
Thanks for all your help.

[15milner]

How soon after falling asleep has she been waking screaming.

Age just about 2years was the time when Matthew would wake at around 10.30 at least once a week.  I put it down to night terrors?  they are associated with disturbed sleep in the early stages of sleep.  They appear to be awake - i had pretty coherent conversations with Matthew - or rather - he would ask for me, I'd be there but actually once I was there - he'd push me away, or perhaps he'd ask for a drink and then when i gave it - he threw the beaker across the room.

After some reasearch we found that the best way to deal with this when this happened was to go in to his room, not touch him, but just in a low voice, reassure him that mummy was here, i love you etc.  AFter about 10 minutes he'd resettle and go back to sleep.

another thing that we had to try (not necessarily related to the night terrors) was sometimes we had to go back to 'resetting' him for bedtime, which meant going through the bedtime routine again of story, cuddle, count toes, godbless, turn out the light etc and then he'd go back to sleep.

all the best
Alex

[Layla]

I would stay in her room for a couple more days (really this can be considered as GW) and then work on getting her to fall asleep without you.

[Tori's Mom]

She is waking at around 1:30-2am.  Not sure why.....she DOES NOT want me to pick her up.  She just wants me to be in the room and if she wakes again and I am not there, we go through it all again.  She hasn't been this way in such a long time and I don't know why this started now.  Just been going on a couple of days and certainly don't want the night wakings to keep going!  She is going to bed tonight alittle after 7pm and hopefully that will help her sleep sounder.
Thanks for all of the advice.  If you think of anything else, please let me know!
Jacki