3 am wake ups...does he REALLY need to eat?

[Ronnette]

My dd is 3 months old and has been sleeping through the nightfour about 4 weeks.  I noticed that when he began to obsess over his hands he started wakeing himself up at around 3/4 am.  He would try to get his hands in his mouth and fussy around so much that he eventually woke himself up.  I used to feed him, but now I just don't think he's hungry.  Should I still be feeding him.  Sometimes it's only about 5 hours since his last dream feed and I know he can go longer than that.  I don't want to feed him and start a 3 am feeding habit if he really doesn't need it, but I also don't want to deprive him of milk if he's really hungry. 

[daybyday]

Do you BF or FF? and what is his routine like during the day....

New babes go through so many up and downs and growth spurts...it's hard to say....

post back!

[Ronnette]

I am bfing and he usually gets 6/7 feedings per day.  He has never been a great napper so I have counted my blessings that he sleeps through the night.  A couple of times I tried to keep him up a little later to see if it would stretch out the waking, but he still wakes up betweem 3 and 4.  If I put him back he will give me another 2 hours before he wakes up for what I think is his first feeding.

[daybyday]

Keeping him up later can actually effect his NWing...counter productive...

Is he on a 3 hr EASY? An established routine can really make a difference (even at this age)...

BF'd babies often do need more feedings that a FF baby...they digest mama's milk very fast and use ALL of it! So there is a chance he might need that feed now...If it's erratic waking that is a sign of hunger...if it's the SAME time every night, usually means habit...If he wakes at 3 or 4 what do you do to get him to go back to sleep for another 2 hours? Is he up for a long period of time? Is he playing, fussing?

By the way you avatar (pic) of him is SOOOOOOO precious! 

[Ronnette]

Thank you

He is on a 3 hour easy, but naps have always been an issue.  I have been really thankful that he sleep so well at night.  He wakes up a the same time everynight regardless of when he goes down.  I have tried to feed him.  I have found that he will go back to sleep for another 2-3 hours either way.  I do a major no no to get him back to sleep.  Nothing works so I put him in the cosleeper in our bed.  He's out in about 5 minutes.  I would end up being at the crib forever if I did the P/S.  He is really all smiles and wants to play at that time.  For some reason he goes to sleep in bed with us quickly.  I need my sleep so badly b/c he's not napping well during the day so I allow it.  He has really already slept 8 or so hours in his crib so I try to tell myself that it's OK to have him in bed for a few hours.  I'm sure I'm starting a terrible habit.  I used to be able to just go in his room and pop the bink back in and he would sleep.  No he pushes his fingers into his mouth and pushes the binky out.  As it is when I put him in the cosleeper I have to hold is hands to keep him from fussing around and keeping himself up.  Do you think he's too old to swaddle?  I really don't want to.

[daybyday]

Has he been swaddled before? I know some who swaddle well into the 9 month range, but in my opinion the later you swaddle, the harder time you may have weaning him of it, and if he's really active in sleep or starting to roll over etc. he runs the risk of entangling himself. But you know your child best!

And definitely get him into an established bedtime routine...and a set time to GO to bed....especially if he wakes at the same time every night no matter what...

I just want to clarify your MAJOR no-no...is that in your opinion or in "others" opinion. Some people LOVE to co-sleep and plan to do that from the start. They follow all safety precautions and have family beds etc. I, personally don't enjoy it, because I'm selfish and want my space. But if this is something that you and DP enjoy, then that is your decision. Personally I still have an early morning nurse with DD (about 5:30 - 6ish) and I bring her into bed for that...

And I must admit, my dd (a big girl  ) has NEVER slept through the night....argh....My DS on the other hand...did great until he was 19 months (that's a whole other bag of worms!)

He most likely goes to bed well with you, because he LIKES it there. And who wouldn't? warm...mama's heartbeat....milk within reach....

My DS started teething at 2.5 months (couldn't go anywhere without a bib, first one didn't show up until 6months....) is this a possibility why he might be choosing his fingers over his soother? Could he be teething?...

I'm sorry I can't offer more...let  me know how your night goes...

[Ronnette]

You have been really helpful, but now I need to through a new one at you.  The past two nights he started waking up at 1-1:30.  The first night I just but him in the cosleeper and he went right out.  Last night I rocked him a little in his room and I was able to put him down in the crib, but I had to keep getting up to hold his arms and legs down.  At 4:10 is was up again.  I thought he was hungry so I tried to feed him and he almost immediately fell asleep.  So into the cosleeper he went and off to dream world.  He didn't cry to get fed until 7:30 this morning.  I fed him and after a good feeding he feel asleep.  He's still sleeping not at 9:45.  What do you make of all this?  I am totally at a loss.

[daybyday]

Ronnette...I feel like I'm fighting the battle with you! I'm sorry I can't help more...Again I do believe there's a possibility of hunger, teething and habitual waking....I'm sorry....

Have you tried any of the bw methods at any of his wakings yet? Like Shh/pat?

Did you try the swaddle to see if keeping his arms/legs contained helped him transition?

[momofclaire]

Ronnette-  If you want to co-sleep then do so.  There are several moms on the boards who have done so with great sucess. I think you need to decide if you want to do that or not.  You know, "parent as you mean to go on," as Tracy would say.  Once you decide, you will be able to tackle the problems a little better.

Your little one is not too old to swaddle, many parents do it for 6 months or so. Also, three months seems to be a tough time for sleep.  You are probably starting to deal with a bit of overtireness do to naps.  I would suggest getting him on a good easy routine with good naps as that will probably help him to sleep better.
Hope that helps.
Myia

[Ronnette]

I have him swaddled in tight right now.  We'll see how it goes...
I actually don't mind the co-sleeping every once and a while, but I feel that right now he needs to be able to sleep all the way through the night. My DH thinks that I am doing a disservice to my son by habitually putting him in bed with us.  I think that it is not harmful to do it now.  I guess we have some disagreement over the co-sleeping.  I am honestly not a fan of the pat/shh.  I back starts to really hurt.  I don't know what to do.  I HATE to see him cry.  I feel like right now he is learning so much about the world and trust and if I don't comfort him when he cries then it is like him saying "why aren't I important enough for them to come to get me"  I just can't have him crying.  My heartbreaks.

Thanks for letting me share.  I'll let you know how tonight goes.  You both are wonderful.
Ronnette

[daybyday]

Ronnette...Not all babies sleep through the night by 3 months...from my understanding A LOT of BF babies don't...their little bodies just use all our milk too fast....

Establishing trust is very important...Don't feel you need to apologize for not letting you LO CIO....Here we are all fans of listening to our babes needs...

sorry another question...Have you figured out his mantra cry yet? My DD "greets" in her self winddown and has since new....making a "eh, eh" sound that never escalates...when it does I go in...

Sending you good sleep vibes tonight~

[momofclaire]

I think you probably should decide if you want to co sleep or not.  If you go back and forth you are not teaching him anything and will probably be "stuck" co sleeping long after you don't want to any more.


Daybyday, has given you wonderful advice.  Bf babies don't always sleep through the night at 3 months, in fact, most do not. 
What has your sch been like the past couple of days?

[Ronnette]

Hi again,
Last night I got him down pretty late for bed. (Wednesdays are a late night because my husband and I are out)  He went to sleep for good around 10:30.  His last feeding was at 10.  He woke up at 4:10, I changed the diaper and rocked him a bit.  He almost instantly fell asleep in my arms.  I thought, "Yes, he is going back to sleep"  But as soon as he it the mattress he started squirming and woke himself up again.  I swaddled him when he went to bed the first time, but I didn't reswaddle him after I changed his diaper.  I wonder if that would have made a difference?  Needless to say, he ended up in the co-sleeper and didn't wake up to eat until 6:30.

A few weeks ago he was sleeping through the night.  Now his is having this habitual wake up.  I know he is not hungry because feeding him makes no difference to his nightly pattern.  I have learned his mantra cry.  He does it before his naps and before bed at night. He is on a 2 1/2-3 hour easy.  It should probably be a 3-4hour EASY, but we have been having a hard time getting over the 45 min nap hump.  Today I stood over his crib and gently rocked him from the 45-60 minute mark of his nap.  This seemed to help. 

[daybyday]

what do you mean by rock him? like gently push his bum back and forth kinda thing? like a modified pat? He might be getting overtired...so I think you should try and get him sleeping solid again....any which way you can...for now...and you might have something there with extending his feeding time...hmmmm

I'm sorry I can't be of more help...You are doing a fabulous job!