How can I help my child resettle into sleep?

[Momiyo]

I have a 9 month old DS who is an excellent sleeper (sorry I feel guilty saying it on this post).  We used to have trouble getting him to fall asleep in the first few months of life, but now he goes down without any trouble whatsoever.  He is a big sleeper - 13-14 hours overnight, has one small one hour nap in the am after breakfast and then usually his afternoon nap would be 1.5-2 hours.  This routine has been steady for over 3 months.  In the past couple of weeks what is happeneing is that he is waking from his afternoon nap after about 15-20 minutes of going down.  Sometimes he's crying hard, but most times he's just whimpering and talking to himself.  I have been leaving him alone to try and sort the situation out, but if he hasn't gone back to sleep after about 20-25 minutes I go in and try to shh/pat and am always unsuccessful at getting him to settle further.
I think part of the problem is he is an independant sleeper now and hasn't needed mom's help to get to sleep for so long that when I do try to help he gets more energized rather than settling.
I have tried skipping the am nap thinking he's at a stage where he needs less sleep, but he gets way too cranky if he misses it.  I tried putting him down for his nap later in the afternoon, but he will still wake up after 15-20 minutes.  On the odd day where he will stay asleep he has had naps of 2-3 hours leading me to think he's missing sleep and is using a long nap to catch up.
Any tips on what I can do to help him settle? 

[katemom]

Hi,

I know what you mean...my lo has been an independent sleeper for a month now, and I feel like I can't do anything, or I am a hinderance to the process!  I wish I had some advice for you on that one, but I do not unfortunately.

I'm inclined to agree with your point that he may not be staying asleep for that afternoon nap because he is getting enough sleep overall.  While all babies are different and have their own needs, it seems like that is at the top of the scale for total sleep?  I wonder if you cut the am nap down to 45 minutes for awhile, if it would help extend the afternoon nap.  Maybe you could do this for awhile until he's ready to do just one afternoon nap?  Or maybe you could wake him up an hour early, or put to bed an hour late (to essentially reduce the night time sleep by an hour)...maybe that would increase the daytime sleep to help him make the long alert stretches more happily.  It seems from most of the things I've read that 12 hours is really more the norm for night time sleep.  So, maybe you could re-arrange it all a little?

This is just what I would try out if it were me...but I am not an expert, so take my comments with caution!  I'm sure you'll get some other input on here as well.

Good luck

katemom 

[KathrynK]

I agree with katemom I would try cutting that am nap to 45 mins.

[Momiyo]

Thanks for the replys. 
As far as total sleep goes, he is at the top of the normal scale for sure, but has been since birth.  He was sleeping 12hours a night at 9weeks of age.  It really messed up my breastmilk supply and I tried diligently to DF him, but he was unrousable to even latch on let a lone suck and swallow.
If I were to cut the am nap to 45 minutes I would definately have to wake him up.  Today he slept for 2 hours in his morning nap!  This is not the usual for him, but I have not been in the habit of waking him up to meet a schedule.  Do parents regularly wake babies to try and fit a schedule?  I opened his curtains for the am nap and left his door open in hopes it would help him wake up earlier, but to no avail - today anyway.

[KathrynK]

Do parents regularly wake babies to try and fit a schedule?

Unfortunately, yes, it's necessary!
After 9mo onwards they start to gradually need less sleep, but many babies (mine included) would just sleep and sleep for naps, but then would cut down their night sleep instead and want to start their day at 5am or even earlier.
My dd has also always needed more than the average (she too was sleeping 12hrs at 9 weeks! df? what df?  )
but I have been waking her from her morning nap now since she was 10 months old. (although this last week we have finally gone to 1 nap!). I still don't like waking her but I would rather wake her after 45 min, than she wake me at 5am!

[Momiyo]

Thanks.  It totally goes against my mommy instinct to wake a sleeping baby, but I'll give it a try and cut down that morning nap.  Today he went down for his afternoon nap without any problems.  No waking up after 20 minutes of being down, but I have yet to see how long he'll sleep in total for today.  Maybe he is just needing direction from me to setle into a new sleeping routine.

[KathrynK]

Maybe he is just needing direction from me to setle into a new sleeping routine.

I think that's spot on- dd was just the same. She needed a change but couldn't do it herself so I had to help by waking her.