Won't take naps outside! How do I fix this.

[KathrynK]

BIG Hugs to you 
Don't doubt yourself for one minute, you hear me?! You are doing great and are a fab mum to your lo.
Question- if someome laid you down in the front room with everyone walking around and talking, in a place that was unfamiliar to you, would you be able to relax enough to go to sleep? nope, me neither. And if someone took you out for a walk with loads of exciting stuff you'd never seen before to look at, would you go to sleep? nope, me neither. I love my bed and it's normal for adults to sleep in a bed so why do we not allow the same attitude for our lo's? Why is it wrong for you to have trained her to sleep in a bed? Surely that's the best gift you can give your dd?
Sorry if this seems a bit strong but I feel rather passionately about this! Restorative sleep is so important for lo's and if it means staying home a little bit more than usual when they are little, then maybe that's what we need to do. It's not forever, my dd at 16 months has A times of up to 6 hours now and sometimes I find myself wondering what I can do to fill those hours! I miss the days when she would nap loads and I could have some time to myself!
You are not putting her down at "scheduled times" you are a good mummy who is tuned in to your dd's needs and is aware of the length of time your dd can cope with before she gets tired. If your lo can tolerate 3hrs A time then to the casual observer it might look like you are on a schedule always putting her down after 3 hrs. But what's wrong with that if that's what she needs?
Please don't give up with all that you have achieved so far. All the PP's here agree that you are doing the right thing for your lo, don't start to doubt yourself. Post back so we can give you more hugs! 

[jogym]

Thank u for your replies.  We have had a bad day and I so want to cry.  Saturday is shopping centre day with mum.  She could shop for Ulster.  Something I haven't ever been able to understand.  I know what I need and whip round and get it!  We used to go out every Saturday but now its every other Sat.  Right enough walking around when the 3.30 time approached you could see DD was getting to the stage of tiredness.  I thought oops here goes.  DD started to cry at 3.40 and did so for over an hour in her pram until we got to the car.  5 mins down the road eyes shut and then woke up after 30 mins.  I tried to tell mum that I would usually go out after the 12ish feed and be back for 3ish for her nap but on a Saturday this is too early to come back home.  I AM going to stick to this routine.  If she's just like this for the days mum has her (1.5 a week) if she insists on going out then there aint a thing I can do.  Thanks for your support.  I am going to have a nice glass of wine now with my tea and know that I'm doing my best    

[¤ Efka ¤]

Hugs to you, its hard when your mom wont understand, but remember you are doing best for your daughter.
 

[NiknLily]

Hi
Glad your going to stick with your guns, lets hope that your mum quickly comes to realise that keeping your LO out past nap time is simply no fun.  After all who in their right mind would repeatedly do something which results in them having a screaming overtired grumpy baby to deal with 
Maybe also you can retry explaining that your not on a schedule its a 'routine' that babies are all different and your LO really flourishes on routine, that she is most happy and content when you give her food when shes hungry, play when shes awake and sleep when shes tired and that not only that, she actually expects it which is why she gets more upset when things don't happen as she thinks they should.

Stacy - tell you mom to stuff if up her butt! LOL

[NikkiSurrey]

Just wanted to jump in and say thanks, Jo, for sharing this and to everyone else for all the advice, which has helped me as well.

As I scrolled down through all the replies, I could have 'quoted' from every one of them, saying 'yep, I agree, I understand, etc etc'.  I believe passionately in good routine=good naps=good night sleep, for all the reasons you've discussed.

Although my family (both DP's and mine) do listen dutifully and try to understand I know they think I am rather odd.  They think I'm fixed on a 'schedule' with set times whereas they don't get that in practise I am actually following my LO's cues.  He will be going to nursery when he's nearly a year and I'm nervous about that, with regards to naps, but at least it will only be one nap a day by that point...

Oh and I looked at this in the first place because I am in the same position...DS has learned independent sleep in his cot so well that it is so much harder when we are out and about, or at other people's houses.

I love this website, it constantly reassures me that my devotion to BW is well placed! 

Thanks again
Nikki
x

[NiknLily]

Hi
I though of something else, an answer to your mum asking "how do you know your LO is tired when you put them down at X time?" the answer is because you know your LO and know that at present your DD can handle being awake for X so if she wakes at X she will be tired by Y.  Its that simple, you know your LO best.

[jogym]

Well am going back to work Monday.  Bought travel cot today (a bit last minute I know).  Will test out between now and then and hopefully everything will be o.k.  I just pray my LO will get her quota of sleep.  She is sleeping so well at the moment.  We have come to a major hiccup before we have even started.  DD will be with mum on 1st day but oops so will my dear niece who has to be picked up from nursery at 11.15.  Looks like someone will be woke up early (after 35 mins) or get her sleep later than usual.  The latter would be better right?  I am worrying myself silly over all this and my 1st day back is going to be stressful.  I do believe that when she sleeps her quota during the day she sleeps through the night.  Would this assumption be correct or not?  Of course there have been days months ago (when battling 40 min naps) when she only probably slept 1.30 hours and slept through the night??  Just don't want to be thinking of not much sleep during the day = sleepless nights and i'm getting up to go to work.  Someone put my mind at rest.    
Jox