25 mo old with falling asleep issues...

[cliffrose]

Sorry, I haven't even searched for other posts b/c I cannot think of how to search for this problem.

Over the past month or two, our son has gone from a normal nightime/naptime ritual (story, bottle, bed) to needing us to hold him until he falls asleep, which is now taking up to 45 minutes! It's driving us both mad. From birth, we held him until he was very sleepy/partially asleep, then put him in bed and walked out- 10 minutes tops. Now he gets very upset and wakes himself up if we shift him before he is deeply asleep - and sometimes he will talk in his sleep and tell us not to move him. It's beyond exasperating.We need to be able to put him in his crib awake without a meltdown. We are adamantly against crying it out, but have tried to leave him for 5 or so minutes (occassionally he used to cry for a couple minutes then pop off to sleep- we thought this might be the same thing, but it's not).

He has also stopped waking at 7 (he was a 7 to 7:30 baby), and his naps are often shortened to 1 to 1.5 hours, rather than two, although he clearly needs a nap and is grouchy as heck when he wakes.

Please, any advice/thoughts/etc would be helpful. I don't know if this is a stage, or teething, or something else, but we loved to hear from our fellow experts/sufferers/sympathizers/online friends.

Emotionally drained Elizabeth and Michael

[Layla]

Elizabeth & Michael,

I would actually cut out all that rocking thats going on.... you need to teach him to fall asleep independantly and I would chose one of the sleep training methods used for toddlers.
Here's a link https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

You need to be consistent because this is something totally new to him.... he will probably cry ALOT but don't let that put you off. Don't give in and start rocking.... keep at it and eventually you will be able to leave him awake for him to fall asleep.

I assume he is waking up earlier & having shorter nap because he is a tad bit overtired due to the later bedtime.

Could you please post your routine?

Layla

[cliffrose]

Layla,

Actually, he HAS been going to sleep independently- it's just now that he has stopped and becomes excessively distressed when we try to put him in his crib awake.

his day- the way it used to be:

7 wake, milk
7:30-8 bfast
9:30 snack
11:30 lunch
12:30 start nap routine- reading, diaper change, cuddle
1-3 or 3:30 nap
3:30-4 snack
5:30 dinner
6:45 begin bedtime routine - bath, reading, cuddle
7:15-7:30 nighttime

now it's quite messy but looks something like this:

somewhere between 6 and 7 (usually 6:15 to 6:40) wake, milk.
7:15 or so bfast
9 snack
11AM lunch
12 to 1215 (depending on when he gets up) start nap routine (I try to start about 5 1/2 hours after waking)
1 pm to 2 or 2:30 nap (he takes forever to go down)
next 1/2 hour grumpiness
4:45 to 5:15 nap
6:15 dessert
6:45 start bedtime routine (sometimes 6:30 if really grumpy)
 7:00 to 7:15 try to put him down
leave room by 8:15 usually

that's the usual mishegas. it's just all messed up. the problem is he won't let us put him in the crib until he is dead asleep and that's taking longer and longer.

thanks

e

[Layla]

Ok so he used to go down independantly but now can't without being rocked to sleep (into deep sleep) so I would still suggest you cut the rocking out. Sometime during all this he has now gotten used to the rocking and its a prop. Its a bit like a toddler waking up at 5 in the morning and some parents start feeding and back to bed. Eventually the bottle will become a habit and the toddler will keep on waking up in the morning requiring the bottle to fall back asleep.

Also the nap is a little late so might be taking so long for him to go down... the 5.5hr mark is when they should be already in the cot so I would start the windown a little earlier and aim for the nap to start at 12-12.30 (the latest).

Its up to you though... how long did you want to rock him to sleep? You can most certainly keep the rocking as part of the wind down but make sure its not the last step. After rocking, you can maybe sing a song and then do wi/wo or pd to get him to learn to fall asleep without you....

Also I've noticed he's taking a 2nd nap at 4:45-5:15.... he should only be on 1 nap. The 2nd nap is not required at 25months. Don't allow him to nap that late in the afternoon.... this could also be affecting his ability to fall asleep at night.

How is he sleeping at night???

[cliffrose]

geez:

he doesn't take the second nap- i meant to write dinner, not nap. oops.

so, i didn't rock him today and he went down faster than usual. which is good. but my real problem is the fact that i can't put him in the crib awake- i think it's SA, but don't know if I need to address it or just treat it as a stage and ignore it and let it disappear by itself.

Elizabeth

[Layla]

No, don't ignore it... I've actually found that a longer wind down worked with dd when she had bouts of SA. YOu can still do wi/wo with SA or you could try GW. But if you are finding that your presence during GW is hyping him up more instead of relaxing him to sleep then I would just do wi/wo.

Good to hear that he went down quicker 

[cliffrose]

I can't tell you how happy I was with the nap today- it was like old times. I wonder if the rocking actually keeps him up....

What is GW?

[Layla]

I would say the rocking is keeping him up & getting him overtired so once he finally falls asleep he can't take a long nap.. So glad he took a good nap  !!!

GW - gradual withdrawal. The link I posted in my 1st response details that method. You stay with them and move towards the door every so many days, etc... until you are out of there. I don't think you need to do this though - sounds like he can work it out on his own and is doing quiet well  .