Every mealtime a tantrum to sit up at the table

[Libbys Mummy]

My 2 year old daughter used to be such a good eater and loved it when she could feed herself.  She has had a varied home cooked diet and thrived on it.  Recently however, she doesn't even want to sit up at the table for mealtimes.  This has been going on for about 3 months on and off now, but recently she has started doing it for every mealtime.  It is utterly draining as she'll fight to be sat up at the table or if we do manage to coax her onto here chair she'll flatly refuse to eat what is put in front of her.  I get the impression it has become a bit of a game.  Sometimes she'll eat a little bit and then leave it.  Well after 30 minutes she is adamant that she doesn't want anymore, but when I take the plate away she starts crying and having a tantrum saying she wants to eat it.  When I put it back in front of her she says finished most of the time, but sometimes she will start eating again.  Any insight into what is going on would be much appreciated.  I am about to start weaning my son and I won't have the time to spend getting her to eat.

[taygensmom]

I agree this is likely an independence streak. If sitting at the table is important for your family (it is for mine as we really want family mealtimes and we go out to eat often as well) I would simply make it her choice. If she wants to eat anything (for meals, snacks, etc...) it is given at the table. If she fights sitting in the chair, I would just say "oh, I guess you're done eating" and let her down. If she cries that she wants to eat, put her back in. Just keep doing this and she will eventually learn she does have a choice - if she wants to sit at the table she can eat, and if she doesn't want to sit at the table she is choosing not to eat. If you let her make the choice and don't make it a control issue, she will likely decide that sitting at the table isn't so bad!

[rebecaq]

We have had similar situations with my niece and ds. I was getting really stressed out and angry about it and called the ped to see what she recommended. She said that since mealtime was important to us, that when they started to tamtrum or refuse food to take the plate away and say "Okay, I see you don;t want to eat anymore, but you have to keep us company", and if they scream for their palte or to be set down to stay firm "I know you're angry, but you said you didn't want anymore", then to not give snacks, milk, anything until next mealtime. I thought this was ahrsh but the ped said that a child will not starve with a plate of food in front of them. Ds had a MAJOR food strike for 3 days and then jsut like that, hunger got the best of him. He ate well and was pleasant during mealtimes.

He still has tamtrums from time to time, and we handle it the same way, and just like that the next meal is as pleasant as can be.


- Beca