« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Anxiety?  (Read 1190 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline summersusu

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 13
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 696
    • Location: North Carolina
Anxiety?
« on: May 11, 2007, 17:00:10 pm »
Is it anxiety and when does it end?
My DS 15 months whines anytime someone gets near him he doesn't know very well.  Sometimes he even will cry.  I feel bad because people will say "sorry" or "he doesn't like people?". Or they will mimic his whine.  It is not like I want him to be that way.  He goes to an in home daycare, me and dad work fulltime so it is not like we are always with him.  Why does he do that and what can I do about it?  I want people to be able to talk to him and OH and shh without him whining or crying.
Logged

Offline Shdef

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 419
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 13961
    • Location:
Re: Anxiety?
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2007, 17:15:41 pm »
The first thing to do is... RELAX!!!

This reaction means that he is psychologically very healthy. It's a good reaction, it means that he can distinguish between you and others and it means that he is well bonded with you.

How you can make his reaction less anxious? Is it possible that (I don't want to be offensive) you already get anxious when strangers appear and he feels that and then thinks even more reason to cry?

Try and be relaxed, don't let him think there is a reason to be scared and it will sort itself out over the next few months... :)

HTH

Steffi
Logged

Offline summersusu

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 13
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 696
    • Location: North Carolina
Re: Anxiety?
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2007, 18:26:58 pm »
Okay, I meant ohh and ahh at my LO.  Anyway, thanks for the advice, I am not as bad as I sound I don't think.  I always tell him when he starts, "you are alright" "you are okay" but that doesn't ease him.
Logged

Offline Erin M

  • The Sentinel
  • Global Moderator
  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 521
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 16463
    • Location: USA - the midwest...
Re: Anxiety?
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2007, 00:54:35 am »
Like Steffi said, he's just noticing that other people are not you and he likes you best!  Stranger anxiety is very healthy and very normal.  If your ds gets upset when new people are present, do your best to make him comfortable.  If he wants to keep his distance, then keep his distance.  Reassure him, tell him that it's ok if he doesn't like new people right away.  Make sure you're open and friendly with the other people and just basically follow his lead.  If other people don't like it, IMO that's their problem -- LOs are people too and if they don't wish to be super friendly with new people, then that should be fine. 

With my dd, I've found that as she gets older and learns more about the world, she goes through phases where she's smiling at everyone and talking to them, or she needs some time to get used to new people and situations.  Right now, if I bring her somewhere new I can count on her being attached to me for the first 20 minutes or so until she's ready to get down and explore.  My oldest nephew at almost 4 is always like that.  His younger brother is 2 and he just runs right into every new situation.  I don't think there's a whole lot you can do to "reprogram" the way they are, just listen to what he's trying to tell you. :)
Logged

Offline summersusu

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 13
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 696
    • Location: North Carolina
Re: Anxiety?
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2007, 01:19:44 am »
Thanks, I don't know if it is his action that bother me as much as it is other people's response.  I know they just assume that he is sheltered or "a mama's boy".  That is one thing I am learning as a new mom is to forget what everyone else thinks and worry about what is right for DS. ;D
Logged

Offline DavidsMomma

  • Resident BW Chatterbox!
  • *****
  • Showing Appreciation 22
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 1065
    • Location: NC, USA
Re: Anxiety?
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2007, 17:42:12 pm »
Hi.  I used to get the same thing with my DS, he was shy with people he didn't know and "mama's boy" was something I was hearing a lot.  It used to bother me, but I decided at some point that I wasn't going to let it any more. 
My DS is now 17 months and he is MUCH better with new people.  It still takes some warming up time, but that is to be expected with anyone.  Oh, I always try not to force DS into anything/anyone he isn't comfortable with. 
So, with exposure and time, I am sure your LO will start warming up too!  HTH
Logged
Kris

<img src="http://lb2f.lilypie.com/haoKm4.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie" />
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »