Pros and cons of daycare.

[arial]

Well, my LO just started daycare!  IT HAS BEEN REALLY ROUGH ON BOTH OF US, BUT MOSTLY HE!  The poor thing looks so tired that he even seem to have circles under his eyes.  He has only gone to daycare three days. 

First day, I only left him for one hour but he cried off and on.  Second day, I left him three hours and he did less crying.  Yesterday, I left him five hours - but he struggled with his sleep and eating.  During second and first day, I fed him and took him home to nap.  But yesterday, I tried to leave him for as long as I need him to be there when I go back to work.  Well, he did not eat much of anything although teacher tried to feed him (you know that they do not try as hard as we moms do to get food down on them) and he only napped for 45 minutes.  Apparently, yesterday was a bad day for all the kids since they all napped less than usual (they usually nap for 2 1/2 hours).  My son only knows to fall asleep on his own by passing out after he runs around the crib and plays for a while. Well in daycare, he cannot do that.  They have assigned cots and he has to lay there until he falls asleep.  Well, yesterday he fell asleep in teacher's arm after a lot of struggle.


So, yesterday I picked up a worn out child who was quite hungry when he got home.  I am starting to get a lot of mixed feelings about daycare.  I know that the cons are that they do not eat well or sleep too good at times.  They can also catched a lot of colds and other illnesses that they would not get if they were at home.   Cons: learn to interact with others, learn to be more independent and try new things.  But can anyone name anymore cons and pros so that I can decide what to do with this daycare issue?

[Sharondp]

Hi Arial
Sorry you've had a tough time with this.
You might be interested in some research done about 2 years ago by Penelope Leach which looks at childcare for kids under three - here's a link
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,1583072,00.html

It basically says that before the age of three, babies do better in a home environment - this is particularly true for boys who need a lot more nuturing at this age.

Penelope Leach & Steve Biddulph greatly influenced my choice of childcare when I had Toby - he went to a childminder, and then when Leo arrived we got a nanny to be with them both at home.

Hope the link is useful.
Sharon

[Erin M]

Hi!  It's a tough transition for our LOs.  My dd1 was in a group daycare setting twice a week from the time she was 6 months until just after a year, both of mine will be going back to a group daycare in a few months when #1 is about 27 months and #2 is about 9 months. 

I think it is good for them to get used to being with other people and with other kids.  I'd definitely stay home if I could, but financially, it's not going to happen so off to daycare they go.  I like group daycare settings because you know there's a lot of accountability.  Provided the center you bring him to is reputable and well-run you know that someone isn't going to be mistreating him -- both the centers my girls have gone to welcome parent visits at anytime and the one they're headed to in a few months has camers in every classroom. 

Three days honestly isn't that long.  It will take awhile for him to adjust.  Quite honestly, my dd never slept well at daycare, but she did ok.  She did eventually eat very well.  I think it is good for them to get used to doing things in other settings....also to know that there are other adults out there that they can trust. 

[KathrynK]

my dd goes to daycare 2 days a week as I work p/time.
She took a while to settle, we had quite a few weeks of tears throughout the day (me and her  ), she would cling to one or two of the carers and cry if they left her for a moment, but the staff were wonderful and said it would take longer for her to get used to it as she was only there 2 days pw, they were very reassuring.
So now a couple of months on and she LOVES it! She is so excited to be there when I drop her off, I think it's much more exciting than being stuck at home with boring old mummy doing the same old same old every day. I think it's really good for her to get used to other kids, learning to share, play together, etc. and I like what Erin said about trusting other adults too- very true.

[MamaC]

My ds has been in daycare since he was 4 months old.  He goes to an at home daycare and the provider has a son who is five month older than him.  I absolutely adore it.  He loves her like another mother and she loves him as well.  If he's having a hard day, she holds him.  He is very comfortable in social settings and I attribute this to all his exposure to different people during the week. 

But, we can't afford for me to be a stay at home mommy so I've definitely got to see the silver lining.  I don't think he sleeps as well there because of his buddies sleeping there too, but he still gets 2 hour naps.  I have followed the bw advice and I think this helped him adjust his sleep habits at daycare as well.

Good luck in this new phase.  Hugs.

[Two mummies]

Riley has been in daycare 4 days a week since she was 18 months old (22 months old today). It was a tough transition for all of us but nowadays she runs into the centre in the morning with barely a backwards glance and she no longer wants to leave as soon as we arrive to pick her up.

The bad things about daycare in my mind are short-term as they adjust to the new environment and routine. Riley took a while to settle into a good sleep routine and we finally started bringing in her blankey from home which increased her naps from 45 mins to over an hour and a half! The initial bout of constant coughs and colds is very draining but we're told that once they have been to daycare they rarely need lots of time off in primary school and beyond!

There are lots of great things about daycare too! Riley gets to play with a range of kids of different ages in the babies room (up to 2 years of age), there's lots more variety in toys and activities than I could ever offer her at home. Her eating skills are brilliant (amazing what peer group pressure can do for table manners in a toddler) and she'll try way more different foods at daycare than she does at home!

Personally I wish we only had to do 3 days a week but we can't afford to 

While there is some early evidence out there that very long-daycare in very young infants can have some minor effects there is plenty of research which shows exposure to daycare can have positive effects on a range of things especially for the older babies.

Soph

[Two mummies]

Here's a summary of the latest US research into the effects of childcare:

This paper represents the latest instalment in the ongoing study of relations between experiences in child care in the first 54 months of life and child development using data gathered in the NICHD SECCYD. Four issues were addressed in this report:

(1) whether associations linking child functioning with child-care quality, quantity, and type detected before school entry and in first through third grade continued to be evident in fifth and sixth grade;
(2) whether associations between child-care experiences and child development dissipated over time;
(3) whether new relations emerged between child care and child development (i.e., sleeper effects); and
(4) how relations between child care and child development compared, strengthwise, with linkages between parenting quality and child development.

In this latest instalment at the end of fifth grade (for cognitive and academic outcomes) and sixth grades (for social and behavioral outcomes), we found evidence of all three patterns of relations between child care and child development just mentioned, as well as evidence that parenting quality proved to be a far stronger and more consistent predictor of tested achievement and teacher-reported social functioning than was child-care experience.

The reference:  Jay Belsky, Deborah Lowe Vandell, Margaret Burchinal, K. Alison Clarke-Stewart, Kathleen McCartney, Margaret Tresch Owen, The NICHD Early Child Care Research Network (2007) Are There Long-Term Effects of Early Child Care? Child Development 78 (2), 681–701.

So basically the quality of the parents is the biggest determiner of how well our kids do not whether or not they attended daycare!

Soph

[Erin M]

MamaCobb, I'm LMAO at that avatar.  Naked tool time

[mari]

Perhaps a home setting daycare would be better suited to him.  i run a daycare from home and I am able to adjust my routines to suit the children that I care for much easier than a creche or daycentre could.  Some children like the home setting, some prefer the creche type, they are all different, but you could try it and see how he getsa long.

Good luck

[MamaC]

Thanks, Erin M!  Gotta be a nudist while you can, right?!

[arial]

Thank you all sooo very much for the information and the encouragement.  I was sooo discouraged last week when he started daycare.  He just turned one and I thought of him being too small to start daycare.  Well, this week he has done a lot better.  He is really enjoying going there.  There are so many more toys and activities for him to do there.  When he gets home, he gets bored very quickly.  Now the sleeping has not improved much although I am hopeful since yesterday for the first time he slept 1 1/2 hours.  Today, they had their closing program so their schedule was off and so he did not sleep that long.  I am hoping that his naps start to get longer and longer.  His eating has improved as well.  Teacher is very loving and very witty.  She is starting to learn my LO and has been able to get him to eat better. 

My son has learned many things in the short time that he is been there.  He is trying to feed himself more.  He is using the sippy cup more and he is interacting more with the kids.  Well, bear in mind that his current friends are moving up to next level next week.  He was allowed to start daycare 2 weeks before new class starts, so while most will move to next level, my son will remain in this class with same teacher.  His friends currently are all 16-18 months and although rough at the beginning for him, they have been some sort of role model for my son since he has started to act more like the older kids.  Will see how he does when the infants move to his class.  Teacher says there are several 10 months moving to up to his class.

Well, any way do not want to bore anyone any more.  Thanks for everything!  Although no completely pleased with daycare idea in general, I am at least relieved that he is adjusting better.

[MamaC]

I hope it keeps getting better! 

[mum101]

DD was 1 when started creche 2 days a week and she was often tired enough to nap in the car on the way home.
As she's gotten older, that has lessened and now she is less tired than me after a work/creche day   

I think the benefits of a good creche way outway the bad.  I am in a situation where I often turn up at different times and am amazed at how much the carers do for the children, especially now she is in the 2 year old group. 

benefits:
they are motivated and encouraged by the slighter older children doing a range of tasks
they learn to eat a range of food (AND see other kids happily eating new foods)
they develop confidence skills
they develop social skills, how to share and turn taking are vital
they see other kids toilet training
they learn to interact in a world where they manage their own friendships and fights over toys rather than having mums hovering over them and intervening (I REALLY struggle not to get involved in interactions!!)
they learn it's ok for mum to go away and come back
DD now runs to her carers for cuddles
Every carer in the place knows her, a great example was when she was sick a while ago with a hard to diagnose infection (she was a bit grumpier than normal) they ALL expressed concern that 'she just wasn't quite herself'.  To me that reinforced their level of care and how well they all know her!

negatives
colds and coughs - well DD came back with a few chest infections and bad colds and a couple of viruses and I had to take time off work in the first 8 months especially. but since then she is robust and in good health (if she gets a cold now, it's a sniffle and has such a lessened impact on her day)

too much time away from mum and dad - that is one i would struggle with if she was in fulltime care. i am in a lucky position to work 3 days (2 days in her first year at creche) and one day is from home so i can pick her up earlier.  But the girls at my work who have their little ones in full time care have wonderful bonds and relationships with their children, no different to anyone else.  Some have chosen family day care and some day care centres. 

One negative I find is communication with the carers as they do different shifts.  It's a matter of my responsibility to ensure they hear what they need to hear.  I have to manage my communication very well (I tell the person I need to tell face-to-face and put it in the communication book), but once they understand they fully cooperate. 

The beginning is hard and i found it hard to trust other people with my child.  But a lot of them are mums themselves and i learnt pretty quickly that most love children and their job. 

Hope it all settles for you soon.