Napping in crib instead of arms ... help!

[JennThomas04]

I  have a 10 week old son.  Because we live away from all of our family, we have had a constant stream of visitors in the house since he was born who want to hold him all the time.  That's great, except that now that the visitors are gone, my son will not nap without being held.  I've tried to get him to nap in crib for the last 3 days with varying success.  I'll put him down, and he'll start to cry and I pick him up and soothe him until he's stopped crying.  Then I'll put him back down.  We went through this routine for nearly 1.5 hours last evening until I gave up, nursed him and tried again later.  Here are a few questions:

1. How long do I try this routine until I give up and do something else?
2. What does it mean that he seems to get more upset when I pick him up?
3. Is it harming him?  Today he was awake for 4.5 hours because he refused to nap without being held.  I finally got him to take a nap a few minutes ago.

Please help!

[debo620]

Hi Jenn,

do you have any of the BW books? I initially purchased BABY WHISPERER SOLVES ALL YOUR PROBLEMS when my son was 5 weeks and we were struggling with short naps. it has ALOT of useful info.

at this age, the picking up and putting down can be too stimulating and actually burns a lot of his much needed calories...the method reccommended at this age by Tracy in her books is called patt-ssh. I will attempt to find a link for some info on this and post back.

Are you following an EASY routine? ie EAT, ACTIVITY, SLEEP, could you post your normal days with the goal times and intervals that these occur.
In terms of the naps, do you have a windown routine? do you swaddle?

[debo620]

here is that link on patt-ssh:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

[JennThomas04]

Yes, I have Secrets of BW.  I tried the patt-sshh method, but it only keyed him up more.  The only thing that seems to calm him is to pick him up and let him sob for a while and then he calms down.  We are working on EASY.  We were on that routine until I started trying to get him to nap on his own.  This is what it used to look like:

6 am - wake
6-6:30 am - nurse
6:30-7:30 - awake
7:30-10 - nap
10-10:30 nurse
10:30-12:30 awake
12:30-3:30 - nap
3:30-4:00 nurse
4-6:30 - awake
6:30-7:30 - nap
7:30-8 - nurse
8-9 - awake
9 - 2 - sleep
2-2:30 nurse
2:30-6 am - sleep

BTW, he sleeps fine in his crib at night.

Yes, I swaddle (although it doesn't seem to make a difference). In terms of wind down, when he starts acting sleepy, I'll cuddle him for 5-10 minutes and then tell him goodnight.  He starts getting agitated the moment I lean over the crib to put him down.

[sarahmom]

Hi there
I too found that pat/shh was totally unsuccessful for my little one.  In fact, even being in the room seemed to make him less likely to go to sleep - I guess the saying 'a watched pot never boils' is true for some babies and sleep!  Like you, I found that just letting him sob for awhile was the best solution.  I never let him cry for a long time, but if I knew he was tired he would almost always fall asleep after 5-10 minutes of crying.  If I tried to pat or pick him up it just made him worse.  Although I felt bad about this at first, it seemed to work for both of us - he got the rest he needed and I wasn't going crazy hanging over the edge of the crib for ages every day.  It was hard for me to accept at first, but I realized that sometimes less interference and 'help' is better!
Keep up the good work!

[debo620]

Ji Jenn,
the crying before sleep isn't uncommon, sobbing can be a mantra cry---which is infact a selfsettling type thing. I would encourage you to stay with him to help if he is truely upset and crying. The main thing is that you are not leaving him alone to cry-it-out. Tracy was totally against CIO as she felt there was a gentler way and it broke the bonds of trust.

I think first look at a nice windown to get him relaxed and then follow that windown rouitne for all sleep times. ie. close blinds, swaddle, lullaby and in to crib.

If you'd like you can start patt-ssh with him over shoulder until he is nice and relaxed and then move to the crib and continue. You need to find what works for him in terms of varying patt-ssh. the main idea is it helps them calm because they can not focus on 3 things at one time (ie crying, sound and patting) so hopefully they stop crying and instead the sound and patting sends them off to sleep. The swaddling can realy help them feel secure aswell.

In terms of your EASY, you should try to set it up for a 12hr day and 12hr night. Ideally the night sleep should start no later then 6:30/7 with a 6am wake. Also at his age he should be nursing at 3hr or so intervals with 3 naps of 1.5hrs and a catnap of 40min.
so

wake6
bf 6
nap 7:30-9
bf 9
nap 10:30-12
bf 12
nap 1:30-3
bf 3
nap 4:30 for 40min only
bedtime routine, final bf, bath etc 6pm and in crib for 6:30

the only reason I suggest this is it allow for more BF during the day, it also will increase the night sleep and decrease the day sleep a bit, which will make it eeasier for you to get the naps in the crib. Also as they get older and start to drop naps, you really need the night sleep to be at least 11hrs.

I think you should start a nice long winddown about 15min before the goal nap time and aim to have him in crib all drowsy and sleepy if possible. Also, you will eventually have him in his crib more awake as time goes on as the end goal would be independent sleep.

[JennThomas04]

I seem to have a sleeping baby right now.  I think I wasn't hanging in with the pat-shh long enough.  This time, he finally settled down and I continued for 5-10 minutes after with pat and shh.  He's been asleep for an hour! Thanks for the reminder on the pat-shh.

Is he old enough to be sleeping through the night?  I thought that the 1 nighttime feeding was pretty good for 10 weeks.  Should I wake him during the day if the naps exceed 1.5 hours?  It seems like he often takes an extra nursing or two in the evenings if he slept a lot during the day.  Early evening is his most awake time, how do I get him to start sleeping at 6:30/7?

[debo620]

goods news on the patt-ssh!
no, I don't think he should be sleeping straight through 11-12hrs without a feed. I for example did a bf before bed 7pm and a dreamfeed at 10:30 and then he slept through til the morning after that. Many find the dreamfeed doesn't work for them and they just end up with a night feed wherever it falls. Sorry I neglected to include this is in the routine I posted.

I simply think he is napping alot because his night is short.
At 10 weeks, Tracy reccomneded a 3hour easy, so eat every 3hrs. Many moms wake their babes to stay on this routine, which allows for an earlier bedtime and a longer night.  I do think this helps in the long run when your baby starts to transition to 3naps, 2 naps and eventually just the 1 nap. I posted a sample rouitne that may or may not work for you. just something for you to consider. My son has always gone to bed no later then 7:30 and I prefer it that way as I have the evening to my self. Some mothers have 8-9bedtime, but generally their children are sleeping until 8am, which works for them.

 

[oilerbaby]

Sarahmom - all three of my kids are/were like that - especially the third, he would get so worked up with the shh/pat and he would settle himself much better if I just left him for 5/10 minutes.