Terrible Night Issues - Desperate

[momofclaire]

I wouldn't introduce a dream feed at this time. Tracy believed that it caused more trouble at this age. I would continue to work on naps, and soothe her through nightwakings using no props for about a week and then see where you are.  The naps are getting better which I think will help you.

[mum101]

Hi, how is it going today?

I would suggest seeing if you can nap during the day yourself to catch up on some sleep.  Don't worry about tidying the house, running errands etc. for a while and take care of yourself.

I suggest you might need to totally  stop b/f at night, she will try and try to get you to do it, but it's making it worse for you.

Create a plan (on how to teach her to go to sleep without b/f) - and one that you are comfortable with and stick to it.  IE. ok no b/f at night during wake ups but she can keep the dummy (and encourage her to look and find it in her cot so she learns she can do it herself), and when she wakes I will sing the same lullaby that means bedtime and I will rub her back.  Be prepared for a long wake up until she gets used to the idea that no b/f will happen.  Keep doing the same thing over and over and she will get the message.  As she learns, you can lessen down the time it takes to soothe her etc. 

Not b/f her doesn't mean u don't care or love her, just that you are teaching her another way to comfort herself to sleep that doesn't mean u will be woken up all night.

Write down the plan and keep a record of how it progresses.  But the main thing is consistency. If you give her a b/f one night you can expect she will want it again and again because she can AND she knows she just has to keep going until you give in.  Try and feed her more of anything during the day, so you are comfortable that she is definitely not hungry at night, and that will help you keep strong, while you are calming her at 3am!

Hope you don't mind my suggestions! Let us know how it's going.
HUGS - hope it improves soon..   

[Peek-a-boo]

Okay, I hate to do this, but I have to disagree with previous poster.  I don't think it's unreasonable for a 7 month old to have one night time breastfeed.  Although some (most even) can go without night feeds at this age, especially with bf where you don't know how many ounces are taken in during the day, I would be reluctant to completely eliminate night breastfeeds. 

When I was sleep training around this age I picked one window during which I would breastfeed.  So, for example, at this age, if it had been 4-5 hours since last feeding, and DS woke up, I would feed him because it seemed reasonable to me that he would be hungry.  If it was less time than that I did pu/pd.  If I feed DS in the night, I would take him out to the living room (still totally dark), so that we weren't sitting in the chair we used to nurse to sleep in, feed him, and watch carefully--as soon as his sucking started to slow, then I would go put him down while he was still awake and do pu/pd until he fell asleep in the crib. 

Personally, I'd ditch the dummy.  Babies, like all of us, have little partial awakenings during the night.  They expect everything to be the same during a little waking as it was when they fell asleep.  If all is they same, they just go back to sleep and we never even know they were awake.  If, however, something is different, they will generally holler and insist that we come and return things to how they were when LO fell asleep.  This is why dummies create such a problem--LO falls asleep with it in mouth, it falls out when LO hits deep sleep, when LO has a partial awakening, LO realized dummy is gone and wants to be replugged.  I'm not sure it's realistic to expect a 7 month old to find and replace a pacificier in the dark . . . I could be dead wrong abou that. 

Are you using pick up/put down?  What are you doing to help LO settle during these wakings if you don't bf or give the dummy. 

Sorry to be contradictory . . .

Bethany

[mum101]

Hi Bethany, don't apologise for your opinions! 

Re: breastfeeding, I think each child would be different... at that age there was no way my DD would be consistently hungry each night.  That's why I asked her to make sure her bub was very well fed during the day. 

You are right about dummy re-plugging, it's hard as they are younger, but easier as they get older.  I suggested retaining the dummy as it seemed that the bf was more of a difficulty and if you had to get rid of one it seemed easier to keep. Waking up bf a baby is harder and time consuming than giving a dummy back.

cya
char