ok i've tried everything!

[Mel D]

So i've tried more A time, less A time, going in 5-10 mins before she wakes, w2s, shh pat on her tummy & pu/pd when she winds herself up to crying. NOTHING will help her take longer naps. She just will not go past that 40 min mark. When she wakes she'll cry initially then calm when she sees me but as i try to soothe her back to sleep she just gets more worked up. I'm still trying to keep going with all techniques even though we are into our 3rd week of EASY. Sometimes when i leave her she'll just talk away to herself & bang her legs on the cot. This time however i've got so frustrated she is now in her cot crying & i know that's wrong. Mother in law reminded me yesterday that even before all this 'accidental parenting' stuff began she rarely did more than nap as a newborn. She is still tired & grumpy though so at a complete loss as to what to do next. Can it be that my DD is a short napper fullstop?
If this is the case then how do i manage her awake time as i can rarely get her to take a catnap either so of course come bedtime we have one cranky little miss on our hands!
Off to get 6 month jabs now so even more fun instore!
Please help Sacrlett as i can't seem to.
Melissa

[*Natasha*]

Could you post your routine?

[Mel D]

ok, here's what we're trying to do & what we're actually achieving:

7am-wake to feed                         
9-9.30 to sleep (depending how tired she seems)
11-feed
1-1.30 to sleep (depending how tired she seems)
3-feed
5-catnap (rarely takes this)
6.30-feed
7-7.30- bath & bed

 sometimes awake before wait to feed at 7 (leave in cot)
9-9.30- nap
9.40-10.10-awake. (Try to soothe or leave in cot if not crying)
11-feed
1-1.30- nap
1.40-2.10-awake (as before)
5ish-catnap (only seems to work if in the car once or twice a week)
6.30-feed
7-7.30- bed (usually takes about 30 mins to settle & leave the room

[Mel D]

I can't stop crying! I keep posting everywhere in the sleep section hoping someone is going to offer me a gem of information that'll make it all work. My LO will just not nap & seems to be going backwards. 2 x 5-10 mins in the las 2 naps. I just can't seem to help her & don't know where to turn. She seems so tired & i'm getting less & less rest & sleep as this goes on. We NEED help i don't know what i'm doing wrong. You can see from my other postings i've tried lots of things.
Desperate, isolated & lonely mum.

[stheo]

Can you post your schedule.. how old is your LO... do you have a good winddown, adequate Atime ( makes all the difference in the world) and how stimulating is it leading up to naps... take a deep breath... i promise it does get better...

[debo620]

Hi Melanie,
yes I agree with Stacy, please post any napping issues in this post only.  I have merged your two most recent posts.

We REALLY struggled with the short naps from like the age of 5weeks until 6months old.
I worked very hard at getting Noah back to sleep if he napped short, but if he didn't get back to sleep in that nap, then I always brought my next nap forward and modified my EASY.

So I would suggest:
if only naps for 30min lets say 9:15-9:45, then feed at 11, diaper change, short windown and in to crib no later then 12. I think that 1pm is far too late for a second nap if the first nap is so short. So in this way, you may actually be fitting in 5 X 30-40min nap in the day, and kind of be chasing sleep but I do think it will help her get caught up on some much needed naps and overtiredness.
This is of course a bit of a temporary solution and certainly longer naps would be preferable.

what methods have you tried for extending her naps?
does she cry when she wakes from a short nap?
have you tried adding 15min of A time on to the first activity time?
 

[Mel D]

Ok Sorry & thankyou will concentrate just on this board. Think the desperation is making me lose track of everything. Will try to fill in the bits after we've tackled another nap
Melissa

[debo620]

Melanie,
thats totally okay. We just want to help as much as possible and it is of course easier to follow one train of thought and chat. I understand what you mean about feeling desperate...hugs to you and we will talk soon.

[donna_issabella]

Also, sorry, i have not seen any of your previous posts, so i don't know how old your LO is.

[Mel D]

OK here goes! My DD is 6m & has been a short napper from birth. Since doing EASY i suppose it seems worse because i'm noticing things i probably didn't see before.
Right,
7am- bfeed (sometimes have to wake her or else she's woken early & left in cot)
8am-cereal (started yesterday)
9-9.30am-nap (depending how tired she seems & usually lasts approx 40mins).
11am-feed
1-1.30pm-nap (as before & again approx 40 mins)
3pm-feed
5-5.15pm-try catnap (only had 2 in 21/2 weeks)
6.30pm ish-feed followed by shower with DH
7pm ish-bed (takes approx 30-40 mins to settle & leave room)

So that's what we're doing at present. So perhaps i need to reduce the 2nd A time? When she wakes from her naps she'll cry initially but usually calm as soon as she sees me (mostly i don't leave the room at all!). I try to get her back to sleep by shh while patting her tummy. Sometimes she'll be grizzly & get more wound up but other times she just babbles, looks around & tries to play with my hand. I don't seem to have to do PU/PD very much as im not sure her cries are full on. Tried it a couple of times recently but it seemed to make things worse. If i can't soothe her back to sleep after about 30-40mins i've been giving her a toy & letting her play in the cot. This will amuse her for a while before she grizzles again. If, on the rare chance i can get her back to sleep she just jumps & twitches for another 10-15 mins before waking fully. I did try w2s but only a couple of times because it seemed to wake her up even earlier!
Todays afternoon nap was a little better than usual but i reckon she was so exhausted from all the crying i let her do this morning. I put her in the cot at 12.45 & 20 very jumpy mins later she was asleep. She woke at 1.55, cried so i put my hand back on her & she fussed for 15 mins before light sleeping with lots of jumps until 2.40. I stayed in her room the whole time, not game to make the slightest noise! Now it's 4.15 & she seems irritable & squirmy & starting to cry again.
Ok, hope i haven't missed anything. Hope you can offer me your thoughts.
Must try to get a grip, i hate feeling like this.
Thanks for your replies
Speak soon
Melissa
Forgot to say but it's probably irrelevant she's not teething, crawling, sitting or even rolling yet!

[debo620]

Melissa, (sorry I've been saying Melanie)

I 100% agree with the suggestions Stacy has given you. I also personally found that the first nap was key for setting the rest of the day up to go well. Once you get the first nap sorted, the rest of the day will fall into place.

[Mel D]

Thankyou once again for all that Stacy. I definately feel like i'm on a downward spiral at the mo. Sleep deprivation is torture eh? I will work on that 1st nap & start to extend her A time. I was trying to put her down earlier the last few days because she has been waking between 4.30 & 5.30 & only getting about another 20 mins light sleep until 7 & feed time. I suppose i figured she must be tired from the start.
I have been a recluse since starting EASY & have only been out of the house twice for food shopping (both after the 3pm feed so she can nap in the car coming home) & once to get her 6m needles so i really can't do anything about that. I have on these occasions been there & back within 11/2hrs max.
Her room is darkened but get a little lighter during her later nap as the sun is on that side of the house. (DD put some black sheeting up on the outside of her window to help). I also play a soft music cd during every nap & sleep time.
 So the next question is...As far as leaving the room? I'm still shh patting as she seems to need it & will wake when i stop unless firmly asleep. Could this be down to not tired/overtired? Would i be best do you think to carry on or try to say 'sleep time' & leave the room straight away or stay a while?
Sorry for babbling but i seem to have so many questions. I suppose everything is interlinked anyway but will firstly concentrate on the naps. Your advice seems to make sense to me & would appreciate it very much if you could stay in touch for a while.

Yesterday her first nap started at 9.10 so will try a little later. Fingers crossed for a better day today X
Melissa

[Mel D]

This mornings nap went as follows
In cot 9.30 because she was rubbing eyes & a bit grzzly.
Still bit twitchy but left room 9.35.
Woke crying 9.50 but didn't go in. She cried then stopped on & off for about 10-15 mins when it all went quiet.
Woke 10.10 crying then just made whiny intermittent cries that got louder.
Went in 10.20 & tried shh pat but cried non stop.
Got her up & out of room 10.30.

Will try for second nap around 12ish.

What do you think? Try 9.40 tomorrow?

[Mel D]

Oh Stacy, now i feel like ive failed her again. Think i posted about the early morning wake up somewhere else as i thought it didn't belong here but i guess i should've stayed talking to you so you could see the big picture.
I didn't catch your message in time so tried to put her down at 12. Took 10 mins of wailing throwing arms & legs around for 40 mins sleep. Can't resettle & poor lovey is crying again. Get her up & try again in a while? I swear she's getting more & more tired as the days go by. So i guess i'll just have to muddle through today eh? Start again tomorrow?

[Mel D]

Yes the early morning wake seems to be a bit of an escalating habit. THis morning (weds) was 4.30. I waited 10 mins before going in & then tried to sttle her but couldn't. She was just wining & on off crying. I finally left her room at 5.40 because i needed a break. She carried on & drifted off about 6.20 for about 20 mins. For a while now have wondered if this would be affecting her A & S time.
Now sh'e screaming her heart out the poor dear & i can't seem to help her stop. Nothing is working, holding, on the floor or walking!