I just posted the following on a similiar post. Hope it helps:
Our LO is younger than yours but we have pretty consistent times for mealtimes/snacktimes (with some flexibility of course) and he only eats at the table. This helps us to avoid grazing/snacking throughout the day. He eats breakfast at 7:30, lunch at 11:30, snack at 2:30, and dinner at 6:00. He gets milk with his meals/snacks (I would give part way through if I thought he was filling up on it at the beginning) and water in between. This really seems to help because he is then truly hungry for meals and eats much better that if he had been snacking/drinking throughout the day.
During meals we do give him only vegetables first, as an "appetizer". It is important to us for him to eat veggies, so we give them consistently and try to give a choice of at least 2 so that he has options. When he has eaten some of his veggies we then give him a little bit of whatever else we are having, along with some extra veggies. He always gets what we are having, we do not prepare something separate for him or get him something else. We just serve what we are eating, and then we let him choose if he wants to eat it or not. There have been a handful of times when the meal has ended with him refusing or only taking a few bites. We just let him down, respect his choice, and wait until the next meal/snack. He has never starved, and he will eat when he is hungry!! We try not to make it a control battle, as it truly is his choice if he eats or not. But we do set up his environment and give him food choices that make it much more likely that he will choose to eat, and become accustomed to a large variety of foods.
I realize this may seem a little too "structured" or may even seem impossible to do, but it truly has worked for us and we have a great eater who doesn't expect anything but what is being served at the table. I also work with "picky eaters", and have found that if you have a child of normal weight with a normal appetite (although it may be for only certain foods), then they likely will adjust to this type of feeding routine and it can result in much less frsutration for everyone involved. The first week or so will probably be very tough, but if you truly and consistently stick it out in all likelihood it will get better. HTH
