Lara,
So sorry you're having a tough time...It's really hard when LO isn't sleeping well, esp. because you've got another to care for. I had a terrible time with my DS, there was a stretch of time last summer where he woke every 45 minutes beginning at 10:30, through till about 6am when he was up for the day. This lasted for three months. So I know how you feel. It's really, really hard.
Let's think about some other things that might be bothering the little guy. Are there any illnesses circulating your house that maybe he's picked up a cold or ear infection from big sister? Have you changed your own diet at all in any way that his tummy may be bothering him? How do you think your milk supply is doing? Have you tried doing a yield like Tracy outlines in BWSAYP?
It's not unusual for the NWs to cluster themselves in the second half of the night. The first part of the night is a very deep sleep, and the second tends to be more active, and there are more opportunities to wake and not settle back. Especially if they're hungry or if something else is bothering them.
If you feel that you should feed him in the night, then by all means, do it. I still think that it's very reasonable to feed such a young baby in the night after 6-7 hours. Not all children can go for 11-12 hours at night without a feed. Frankly, I think that we make it harder on ourselves and our LOs than it has to be by trying to make them do that. Try to remember what I said earlier, with such a young child, 6 hours is considered sleeping through the night, and try (I know it's hard when you're spent, to feel good when he makes it that long). If he's going from 7 until 2, he's doing a 7 hour stretch and that's good, no, excellent!
You said that you fed him one night, and that it did not help, but you might want to try to figure out a plan and then stick with it for more than one night. If he has got into the habit of waking, one feed, one night is not going to solve it. You'll need to do whatever you do for at least a week and maybe more to see change.
I do agree with PP that you should consider adding your DF back into the mix. This is the kind of thing where you'll know fairly quickly - maybe after a week or so whether or not it's helping/he's taking it. You could do a DF at about 10:30 and then if he wakes after 2, you can BF one more time to get him through till morning. If you're able to express some milk, have DH/DP give him the DF so that you can go to bed nice and early, and be more able to handle the wakes in the second half of the night. Keep in mind, the DF does not have to be a "full" feed, but just as much as LO will take to kind of top him off, give him more of those lovely, sleepy hormones that you've got in your BM, and keep him asleep!
So ... for then next 5 nights, try a DF, and one feed in the second half of the night. Then after the 5th night, take note of where you are with wakes vs. where you were after last night. Try to look at the bigger picture over a length of time rather than every night. Kind of like weighing yourself every day is discouraging...so is looking at every single night's sleep.
You might also want to get one of those swaddles with the velcro, if you can - I had one called a Swaddle Me - that will stay put through all sorts of "thrashing" and perhaps an infant sleep positioner to help him stay put. You say he's sleeping on his tummy, and of course you know that is not recommended for a baby so young due to risk of SIDS. He might do nicely on his back, cuddled in a nice tight swaddle with a sleep positioner on both sides of him.
Above all...hang in there, try to get yourself into bed nice and early, and don't hesitate to lean on friends and family, neighbors etc. for help with both children. Keep us posted!
Kate
