Not sure what to make of this

[ladybug74]

I'm fairly new to this and have gotten some good advice on the Naps-board so I'm hoping someone can help me out here with night wakings.
My DS is 12 weeks and we've had some challenges with his sleeping habits. We've gone from no naps during the day and a coma-like sleep at night to a somewhat acceptable napping-pattern during the day and a night schedule with wakings. I'm not sure if his night wakings are just what to expect at this age or if this is something that needs some intervention.

Usually I start the night ritual at 7 pm; BF, quiet time, putting on pyjama's and putting him down between 7 and 8 pm. Most nights it takes him a very long time to fall asleep; he's hyperactive and keeping himself awake with his flailing arms and legs (I think). I've tried swaddling, without any success. Sometimes his fussing continues all the way to the DF (between 10 and 11). He'll cry for a little, be quiet for a couple of minutes, fuss some more, cry hard for a minute, be quiet again etc.
After the DF I put him in bed asleep, he crashes during the feed, and then he'll sleep for 3-5 hours. He wakes up as early as 1:30 am (and when this happens he usually wakes another time during the night) or as late as 5 am.
Last night he got fed at 7 pm, was in bed by 7:30 pm. By 9 he was still awake and crying so I fed him again. He took a full feed and crashed. My husband gave him a DF at 10:30 (not sure if we should have done that) at which time he also drank a couple of oz. and he still woke up at 1:45 am. He ate again and woke up this morning at 6:30.

My question is regarding the irregularity of his night wakings; I just don't understand why he sometimes wakes up so early and other nights he'll sleep until 3-4-5 am. Should I continue to feed him at night when he wakes up? Am I just making a problem out of nothing???
My other problem is with the long time it takes him at night to settle down. During the day he naps in his crib, falls asleep on his own, although he always wakes up after anywhere from 20-60 minutes and finishes his nap in his swing. Not ideal, I know, but it's a lot better than the no-nap situation where we came from.

Any advice would be appreciated!!

Monique

[momofclaire]

Monique,
Can you post your daytime sch for me? 
It is normal for a baby his age to need a night feed, maybe even two or three. 
Is he bf or ff?
Have you tried pat/shh at night? 
We didn't swaddle for that long but many babies do really well in the swaddle because it helps the flailing limbs.  There are different ways to swaddle, what have you tried?  What make you say that you have had no success?  Does he fight it, break out?
Post back and I will try to help.
Myia

[ladybug74]

Myia, thanks for your reply.
Here's the approximate schedule:
6:30 wake and bf
7:00 activity
7:45 nap; about 1 hour in crib and remaining time in swing

10:00 bf
10:30 activity
11:15 nap; about 40 minutes in crib and remainder in swing

1:00 bf
1:30 activity
2:30 catnap in crib/swing

3:30 go and pick-up older son
4:00 bf
4:30 activity
5:15-ish catnap, usually no sleep in bed, all in swing

7:00 bf and wind-down for night
by 8:00 in bed for night; fusses on and off

I am working on pat/shh for extending his daytime naps, with limited success. He does not seem to relax, does not cry loudly, but fusses and flails.
I have tried swaddling with a swaddling blanket for about 1 week; he kept fighting it for the entire week. Problem was that when he was fighting he would get really warm in swaddle, but once asleep he was comfortable. this made it hard to dress him down any. I'm in New Mexico and the weather here is in the 90's so I'm concerned to re-start the swaddling because of the heat.

He does not take a paci, instead tries to suck his thumb and while this is cute it is mostly frustrating for him since he has limited control over his movements. He'll find it by accident, while scratching his face with his other fingers and with the next jerk loses his thumb again.

Have not tried pat/shh at night yet, especially since he always seems to be hungry and eat well. I have tried to have him eat more during the day, but the problem there is that he refuses to take more (which I guess is good). I have to wake him during the day to eat, not sure if that means anything.....

I know I'm throwing a lot at you, sorry.

Monique

[DavidsMum]

Monique

Just a thought but do you think by extending his naps during the day with the swing you are teaching him that when he wakes up he needs the swing to go back to sleep so he is not learning to resettle himself. Hence the waking at night?

When my LO was sick he had trouble sleeping during the day so I would extend naps by cuddling him back to sleep. After never having night wakings he started waking at night and wanting to be cuddled back to sleep.

Food for thought maybe?

[momofclaire]

PP stated exactly what I was thinking.  It could be possible that he thinks when he wakes he needs the swing. 

On average, he wakes once or twice a night right? 
I think if that is the case, you are doing well.  I do think that you should work on getting good naps in the crib with him going to sleep without a prop.  Also, his third naps may be a bit short.  Two catnaps may not be giving him the sleep he needs and thus could be waking from being overtired. 
If he is hungry at night, I would feed him because he simply may still need it. If he is still waking twice a night for food in a few weeks, I would tryo to pat shh him through the first wake if it is within four hours of the df.  Does that make sense? Sometimes I feel like I am not very clear on paper...I am better in person.

[ladybug74]

It definitely has crossed my mind that extending his naps in the swing is not a habit I want to keep around; it just grew that way since previously he was not napping at all. Then we got the swing and he would nap in there, which was a huge improvement from the no naps and finally I got him to nap a little in his crib, but never long enough. Like I said, I am trying pat/shh during the day for extending his naps, but so far he has not responded favorably to this. He remains very restless. Usually he falls asleep in his crib during the day without any help from me, it's just that he wakes up too early.
Last night I fed him at 7:15, in bed by 8:15. He fussed until 9:30 at which time I gave him a bottle of formula (4 oz. all of which he drank). He woke up again at 1:00, bf again, and then he slept until 6:45 this morning. This is new, since he will usually wake up again during the night after such an early wake-up.
It's great that he slept for almost 6 hours, I guess it just confuses me that he would wake at 1:00, 3 1/2 hours after eating and then be able to make a stretch. Usually he stays on a 3.5 hour feeding schedule throughout the night. The only difference with the day is that he does not sleep in his swing at night.
Maybe I should try tanking up again?? I tried this before, but it just turned out to be a struggle since he wasn't really hungry and would spit up most of what I was able to get in him.

[momofclaire]

It could be that when you tried "tanking" before, that his belly wasn't big enough to hold it.  I would try as their tummies grow quickly.

[ladybug74]

With the schedule he's on now (feeds at 7, 10, 1, 4 and 7) how do you suggest I work in tanking up?
Maybe instead of 7 pm feed do a 6 and 8 pm?? What about sleep in between these feeds?
Or should I add a 9 pm feeding and consider that the DF?

[momofclaire]

I would try to feed him at 5:30 also.  He probable won't take a full feed but between that extra feed and the 7:00 feed he will take more than he has been.
When he sleep well in the early nighttime, do you do a df?  Does he go back to sleep well after that?  Have you tried not doing the df?

[ladybug74]

On the rare occasion that he does sleep in the early nighttime I do still do a df. He usually does not wake up for the df and I can put him back no problems. When he has been up he falls asleep during the df and same thing, no problems putting him down asleep.
I have tried not doing the df, but this was back when he would only have 1 NW, around 3 am. I didn't seem to make a huge difference whether I did the df or not, some nights he would still wake up only once and other nights he would wake up a little earlier, say between 1-2.
Today I will try to add a feed at 5:30 and see what he does.

[momofclaire]

Keep me posted. 
You are doing great by the way.

[ladybug74]

Here's an update of what happened yesterday.
DS bf at 4:00 and I tried to feed him again at 5:30. He drank for maybe 3 minutes and spit up a lot of that. At 7:15 I fed him again. I did alternate with bf him and giving him a bottle of ebm or formula.
Lo and behold, when he went down at 8:00 pm he fussed for maybe 20 minutes and fell asleep after that.
I did a df at 10:30, for which he never opened an eye and he didn't wake up again until 3:15. BF and back to sleep until 6:30!!
Not sure if it was the extra feed at 5:30 or the bottles he got, but whatever it was; it worked!
Of course now I can start again with the whole "Am-I-producing-enough-milk?" misery. It's great to bf, but it sure can make you insecure!
Keeping my fingers crossed for today/tonight 

[momofclaire]

I am glad "it" worked, whatever it was. 
I know how it is to worry about producing enough milk.  The chances are very good that you are producing enough. I wouldn't worry about that.

[ladybug74]

Myia,

I just wanted to thank you for your kind words and input. DS has been back to his once-a-night-waking schedule for the last week or so. Maybe we just hit a rough spot or something, I'm just thrilled that the multiple night wakings didn't stick around.
Thanks again!!!

Monique

[momofclaire]

Monique,
That is really good news.  Hope to see you around, just not on my boards. 
Myia