why is he waking?!

[ishkin]

Greetings,
My LO is 4 months old, and now we have a problem with night wakings...
He was sleeping full night (from 22:30, when he was dreamfeed until 5:00-5:30 am) since ~ 1.5 months old.
Suddenly around 3 weeks ago he began waking at night.

He doesn't seem to be hungry - when we have growth spurt , we can see it clearly during the day (he eats longer when he's breastfed and he eats more from the bottle - we give him a bottle a couple of times a day, both because I went back to work , and because he's not eating very well when breastfed , keeps turning his head and flailing his arms and sometimes refuses the breast, so I pump and give him in the bottle).
Additionally, when he's hungry he will not settle back to sleep without eating first, and this is not the case with those night wakings...

When he wakes, he starts crying a bit - not a lot, just a bit, we give him some time to try and put himself back to sleep, when this doesn't work my hubby goes and gives him a dummy and he goes right back to sleep.He's waking more or less every 2 hours...For example, tonight - dreamfeed at 22:30 and back to bed at 23:00 - then woke up at 1:00,3:00 ,5:00 and at 5:40 - here I fed him cause he woke up since he was already hungry. Yesterday he woke at 1:40 and 4:00 and then 6:00....So the times are different, but the 2 hour cycle is more or less the same.

His routine is like this - its in transition now since we're moving to 4 hours routine:
E 07:00 or 07:30 (doesn't eat a lot cause he usually eats around 5 or 5:30)
A 08:00
S 09:00

E 11:00 or 11:30
A 11:30
S 12:45

E 14:15
A 14:30
S 15:30

E 17:00 (not a large feed, its more like a cluster feed with the 19:00 feed)
A 17:15 going for a walk in the park
S usually none
A 18:30 massage,bath
E 19:00 -so tired that falls asleep immediately
S 19:30

We also have a problems with naps - naps for 30-40 mins, then wakes (usually crying cause still tired). I try to put him back to sleep, sometimes by holding has hands and legs so he wouldn't wake himself, but this usually doesn't work, he just goes from deep sleep to being awake in a sec - opens his eyes and thats it.
In this case I pick him up and walk around a bit, until I can see he's closing his eyes again and then I put him back in his crib and get another 40 mins of sleep out of him (but I'm pretty sure this time its not deep sleep, he keeps steering).Sometimes I let him sleep on me cause he steers all the time and the slightest movement like me putting him in the crib wakes him...We almost always use a dummy for helping him fall asleep...
He wasn't waking after 19:00 at all, but since those night wakings he usually also wakes around 21:00or 21:30, (not totally, just a bit - starts steering and moaning) - I give him his dummy and put my hand on his chest for 10 mins or so,he calms down and goes back to sleep.

Another thing - may be there's a connection - I went back to work for half a day around the time he begun waking at nights - don't remember what came first

I think thats it with the background info - can anyone figure out what's going on? It's not wakings from hunger and not regular time wakings - so what is it? He's also a bit more upset during the days- but that might be because he doesn't sleep as well as he used to at nights...
At first I thought maybe he was teething, he drags everything into his mouth and tries to chew it and sometimes he cries for no reason during the day...But there's no physical indication for teething yet, his gums are not swollen...And he's a bit young for it too...
And what's with the 2 hours intervals?!


If anybody has any ideas , I would really appreciate it! 

[Mom_to_L&S]

Hi Ishkin,

I donīt really have advice for you, just wanted to say that Iīve had the same problem for the past week or so and I canīt figure out why either. Our LOs are around the same age, Lena is 16 weeks old. Maybe they are hitting a milestone?
Iīve made a thread about it here "2am wakings etc..." check that out for suggestions I got, maybe?

Lena has surprised me last night and didnīt wake up for the first time untill 06.30am! She skipped the 2am waking and her habitual 5am waking. She resettled and slept on untill 8am, her usual awake time.

Iīm starting to think now that maybe it was the weather? It has been very hot and humid here for the past week and, since yesterday, temps are back down, the house is cool again and wham, she slept well again. Maybe itīs the same where you live?

[Layla]

Is he taking short naps throughout the day? Based on your EASY it seems like he's doing 3naps (9-11, 12:45-2:15 & 15:30-17:00). Or is 3 short nap & if you can extend, you do so by picking up and walking around. Does he know how to fall asleep on his own? Have you considered doing shh/pat to help extend naps rather than walking him until he is sleepy again?

When he wakes, he starts crying a bit - not a lot, just a bit, we give him some time to try and put himself back to sleep, when this doesn't work my hubby goes and gives him a dummy and he goes right back to sleep

Do you think it might be a prop and hence he can't transiton into longer sleep at nap times. Sounds like he dones't know how to fall back asleep at night time because the paci is missing. Would you be willing to get rid of it and use shh/pat at night instead???

Layla

[ishkin]

1. Yes,he's taking short naps-always 30-40 mins and I always try to extend them one way or the other, so altogether its 1.5 hours (usually). Shh/Pat stopped working since he was around 2.5 months old (it did before, now it seems to have no affect on him). Besides, its not that he's always crying - he just lies there with his eyes completely open and not really showing any signs of falling asleep. But I know that he is tired based on his behavior (scratching his ears, not looking at things ,etc.
I need to bring him to the state he is sleepy again, thats why I'm walking with him. Sometimes his belly hurts (he still got gas) and nothing calms him and there's no chance he will sleep unless I walk with him a little bit.
But - he had this short naps problem since around 2 months old - and he started waking at night only 3 weeks ago...
2.He falls asleep on his own almost always - except the times I miss his tired signs and he is too irritated. Usually I see that he's tired, we do our wind-down routine (we close the shutters, I sing a couple of soft songs, I put him in his crib, give him the paci and in 10-15 mins he is asleep - although I have to go back from time to time when he spits his paci and he demands it back until he falls asleep). He only uses the paci for falling asleep, later it falls out and I don't put it back.
I think he is too young for weaning from paci. Besides, its not the main problem - at nap times he sometimes doesn't drop the paci and it stays in - and still after 30-40 mins he's wide awake and can't fall back asleep again on his own,and all that WITH paci in his mouth...
Same with waking at 21:00 - sometimes the paci is still there, and he still wakes and starts steering and calms down when I put my hand on his chest and stay like that for 10 mins or so...
At nights the paci seems to be enough to restore him back to sleep...
Besides- he did use to sleep full nights - so him not being able to fall back asleep without the paci doesn't really explain it 
3.I don't think its the weather - we had both some hot/cold days and he behaves the same...I think it might be gas/teeth , but not sure about that...

[Layla]

1. Yes,he's taking short naps-always 30-40 mins and I always try to extend them one way or the other, so altogether its 1.5 hours (usually). Shh/Pat stopped working since he was around 2.5 months old (it did before, now it seems to have no affect on him). Besides, its not that he's always crying - he just lies there with his eyes completely open and not really showing any signs of falling asleep. But I know that he is tired based on his behavior (scratching his ears, not looking at things ,etc.

Short naps can be developmental. If he is wide awake and not crying then I would leave him to let him learn how to get himself back to sleep. If he's crying & shh/pat is not working, I would use pu/pd.

I need to bring him to the state he is sleepy again, thats why I'm walking with him. Sometimes his belly hurts (he still got gas) and nothing calms him and there's no chance he will sleep unless I walk with him a little bit.
But - he had this short naps problem since around 2 months old - and he started waking at night only 3 weeks ago...

See I think its better to let him be rather than install a prop (which is you helping him get back into a sleepy state). I can understand that this might mean he will NOT go back to sleep & your EASY might be a little off & it can be extremely frustrating when he's obviously tired and needs more sleep. But again, I would suggest you do help him get into the next cycle by teaching him how to do it on his own rather than rocking, walking or giving the paci.

2.He falls asleep on his own almost always - except the times I miss his tired signs and he is too irritated. Usually I see that he's tired, we do our wind-down routine (we close the shutters, I sing a couple of soft songs, I put him in his crib, give him the paci and in 10-15 mins he is asleep - although I have to go back from time to time when he spits his paci and he demands it back until he falls asleep). He only uses the paci for falling asleep, later it falls out and I don't put it back.

I am a little confused and this is what makes me think that he NEEDS the paci to fall asleep and to return back to sleep. If he's demanding it and you need to give it to him in order for him to fall asleep then its most likely a prop. It falls once he has fallen asleep but if he's in mid cycle and CAN'T get back to sleep then he doens't know how to transition to the next cycle without IT or without your assistance.

I think he is too young for weaning from paci. Besides, its not the main problem - at nap times he sometimes doesn't drop the paci and it stays in - and still after 30-40 mins he's wide awake and can't fall back asleep again on his own,and all that WITH paci in his mouth...

Jasmine was 4 months when I weaned the paci. Before that she seemed to do well with it and it calmed her & helped her fall asleep but some time around 3.5months, I realised she was addicted. It took about 2 weeks of shh/pat for her not to need it at all and nights got better as well. If he's waking at 40mins with the paci in his mouth and still unable to get back, then it might be just that he is a short napper (which is VERY common for a 4mo). Naps start to lengthen out at around 5-6 months so with or without the paci, this could be a developmental issue as well.

Besides- he did use to sleep full nights - so him not being able to fall back asleep without the paci doesn't really explain it 

This could be that he wasn't dependant before and is now.

I am not trying to steer you into weaning as I know this could mean lots of crying. I am just going by what I am reading and to me it seems like he is dependant on the paci for nightwakings. Its ultimately your decision when and if you want to wean. Babies wake at night every 1-2hrs in between cycles. This is normal and we all do it. The thing is, if he's calling out for you and needs replugging then it might be something you have to consider taking away.

[ishkin]

Hm...Maybe he is dependant on it but there're other issues as well which makes the paci not enough in some cases, like to extend his day naps. It might be developmental , like you say.

But still,at this point I'm not ready to wean him out of it since I cannot see it through - I'm back to work and I don't want to start something which I cannot finish myself. So I guess with day naps we will wait until the cycle lengthens on its own, like you say around 5-6 months...

With night wakings its easier cause its enough to pick him up/put him down in a min to make him go back to sleep so we can do without the paci. Today we experimented - when he woke we didn't go to him but waited, and eventually he calmed himself and went back to sleep(of course we don't let him cry - we wait only in the case he fusses a bit,if he's crying thats something else bothering him...)

Thanks again for the info!

[Layla]

I think its great that he was able to put himself back to sleep. I would practise that more often. I know its hard to stop yourself from going in straight away but not every cry is important. He could be doing a mantra cry in which case he is learning how to settle himself

I understand what you mean about the paci weaning & it is hard work and requires consistency. SO if you feel like now is not the time, I would wait until you can commit. Later on he might even be able to put the paci in himself in which case you won't have to worry about doing it for him.

The naps will extend on their own with time. 4 months is a hard age - we had constant 45mins naps but it got better around 5.5-6 months.

Let me know how you go
Layla