Sharing bedroom cause of nightwakings? HELP!

[NatDav]

Hi Everyone,

My LO is almost 7 months.  We have been following the BW since he was about a month old.  With mixed results.  We started him on solids at 6 months and he recently cut his first tooth.  We have now mastered his naps.  We have a diaper change, read a book, I sing him a lullaby and place him in his crib awake but sleepy.  I leave the room and he goes to sleep on his own.  His bedtime sleep is something altogether different.  After following a routine similar to his naps I place him in his crib awake but sleepy.  He starts to cry and desperately wants to chew on my fingers.  I usually let him but a few days ago I stopped thinking I had become a prop because he doesn't require chewing on my fingers for his daytime naps I have tried having him chew on teething toy or his own finger which he doesn't want (cries harder).  Last night was horrible and I would say not allowing him to chew on my fingers made his nightwakings worse. My DS has never slept through the night the longest stretch he goes uninterrupted is from 7:30 when I put him down to about 11:30 / 12:00.  I stopped doing the dreamfeeds when he started solids because they never really worked and it was becoming a habit for him to wake before I could give it to him.  Now instead of waking anywhere between 10:00 and 11:00 for his first night feed he wakes at 11:30 / 12:00 and again and 4:00 AM for a feed.  He is an early riser waking at 5:45 AM he plays in his crib until mommy gets enough energy up to feed him at 6:30.  I think he has the ability to self soothe during the day but at night he knows we are in the room and relies on us to get him back to sleep.  Does this make any sense or is it crap.  My DH doesn't want to put him in his own room yet since we are leaving on vacation in a month and it will disrupt him even more to have two such upheavals. 

A typical day goes like this.

5:45 - 6:30 wake up
6:30 - BF
7:00 - 7:30 solids (usually cereal / fruit)
9:00 - 11:00 NAP (for 1.5 to 2 hours)
11:00 - BF
12:00 - Lunch (green veggies / fruit)
1:00 - NAP (2 hours usually wake him up b/c could sleep longer)
3:00 - BF
4:30 - Dinner (green veggies / cereal)
5:00 - afternoon stroll around the neighbourhood
5:30 - 6:00 / 6:30 catnap
6:30 - bath, massage
7:00 - BF
7:15 - book / lullaby
7:30 - bed
11:00 - NW - BF to sleep if hungry but try to get him back to sleep a pat or pu/pd if I am successful usually wakes up 1/2 to hour later hungry
4:00 - NW - BF

I guess all the above to say is sharing a room keeping my LO up?  I can't figure out what is going on with the nightwaking.  Is the evening walk or bath too stimulating or is it that my DH is home from work and this gets my DS all excited or is it sharing a room.

I would like to try the controlled wakings but b/c we are sharing a room with him and my DH has to work he doesn't want to listen to the alarm.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

[Layla]

Hey there & welcome to the boards !!!

I moved my lo from our room at around 5.5-6 months because I found that she was waking alot and I was attending to her every move and also she was waking/stirring from every caugh, snore or noise we were making, lol...

I also wanted to comment on the naps. He is doing exceptionally well with the daytime naps & I think he might actually be having too much daytime sleep (which in turn can result in nightwakings as well).

He should be able to do 2.75-3hrs during the day, so I would perhaps try something like this:

9am - morning nap (1.5-2hrs)
11am - wake
2pm - afternoon nap (1.5-2hrs)
3.30/4pm - wake
6.30/7pm - bedtime

He might be ready to drop the catnap OR I would wake him from the morning & afternoon nap at 1.5hrs & do a catnap. If you are going to push his pm nap to 2pm, I would do it in increments so that he doesn't get overtired. I think the catnap is too close to bedtime. He is probably waking so early in the morning as well becuase he is having too much daytime sleep.

Pesonally I am all for moving them into their own room after 6 months (or before if it helps) so I would say go for it! But I think the NW are to do with daytime sleep as well.

Just a thought
Layla

[momofclaire]

I also think NW can be complicated by the baby being in the same room.  Some babies can stay with mom and dad for a very long time but others, once they see you, they want you.  You might try one night in his room and see what happens. 

[NatDav]

Thanks for the Help!

I think you're right and it did occur to me that maybe he is getting too much daytime sleep because he is always cheerful and bright eyed while me not so much.  So I tweaked his routine last night.  During our walk I woke him up after half an hour.  I tried to follow almost the exact routine that I do for his naps plus a bath and massage.  I reimplemented the dreamfeed but at 11:00 pm.  When I put him down for his bedtime he was really calm and it seemed to work.  He did start to cry and when he did my DH went in to settle him which took only 5 minutes instead of about half an hour when I do it.  The dreamfeed went well and he woke at 2:00 am but settled himself.  He woke really crying hard at 4:00 am and I BF.  (I know this is not the right board for this but how do I drop this feed?) He slept in a little later and woke at about 6:15 am cooing in his crib.  He seems a little more tired today.  So all in all he is doing better. 

I think you're both right that it is time to move him into his own room.  I think initially being in the same room disturbed him (our floors are really creaky).  Now I am more scared that he is totally used to us being there and the transition into his own room will become more and more difficult as he becomes more aware, mobile and matures.  I would move him right away the only problem is we leave for vacation soon for a month and will be sharing the same room as him in any event.  I am thinking that if I move him out now it will be disruptive and confusing to him that he gets his own room and then will be sharing with mom and dad again in a couple of weeks.  Better to put him in his own room when we get back so that it is a clean start.  Does anyone have any opinion on whether it is better to wait or to do it right away and what impact it might have on the NW?  I am so nervous to disrupt him right now b/c it took until just recently for him to fall asleep without me doing sh/pat, pu/pd, or being in the room.  I don't want all my hardwork to vanish b/c we go on vacation. 

I think I will try getting rid of the catnap and moving his bedtime up with the hope that maybe he will sleep until 7:00 am which would make me so happy.  Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it!

[Layla]

I can see where you are coming from in regards to changing rooms after the vacation. If he is a fairly easy baby he might not really care if he's in a new room or not & will sleep well regardless. But its ultimately up to you & if you think his sleep will be disturbed even more, then leave him until you come back. I think a month is a long time & at 7 months I wouldn't think it would have that much of an effect on him. I have moved Jasmine from one room to another about a month ago so she went from sleeping in our old room (& we were in hers, so we swapped). She didn't care much & she was 11mo at the time.

Good luck & let us know if his nights improve when the catnap goes
 

[Mamalou]

If I only had that choice! Our ds is 13.5 mo and has always been in our room--we don't have another bedroom  he doesn't really have nwings, but he does wake early..and many have said it could be that he wakes and sees us...I don't know-- but it seems like I've tried EVERYTHING else!

[momofclaire]

Mamalou-Have you tried putting something in that room that would separate him from you?  A curtain or room divider may be enough to keep him from seeing you. You are his fav toy/friend at this age and during the early morning hours sleep is light, so when he wakes and sees you, he wants to play.

[Mamalou]

that's what all of the girls on my birth thread say! To get a curtain so he doesn't see us.  I want to make a little 'corner' for him anyway... it's just hard to get dh to 'change' anything, iykwim  he's busy, yes, but also uncompromising at times  
Do you really think it would help? I think he'd still hear us toss and turn or cough or get up.  (nothing else goes on in the bedroom  sorry for that tmi, but reallly it doesn't )

Kristi

[Mamalou]

thanks Stacy, yes, we have a noise machine, just haven't used it in ages-- thought he didn't need it, but I guess it could help... I'm past the point of 'freaking-out-omg-he's- going-to-hear-me-can't-breathe'  when I go in to sleep at night, but when dh comes in and when he snores or tosses and turns loudly in early a.m. I'm a bit freaked he might wake him 

so my next task is to convice dh we should put up a curtain...

thanks
Kristi

[Mamalou]

oh God, yes, I can imagine that...  (won't it be fun to rip this out of the ceiling )

Actually, Keri and some others on our board told me to get an 'airplane wire' (i think it's called)  at IKEA and hang the curtain from that.  Good idea to check the craft boards, though. I'm really not good with curtains or anything..

Thanks
Kristi

[shimzy]

Our daughter used to be a really great sleeper with an UNdarkened room. All of a sudden though when she became more aware (in the realm of 7.5-8.5 months) we had to throw up a sheet over the window and tack it down.  She had begun waking when the sun came up (almost to the minute!).

Ever since we put the sheet up it's never been a problem.

For white noise (we have used since birth), we alternate between the fan and the humidifier.

[NatDav]

Hi Everyone,

Well I have eliminated the catnap and I have moved the bedtime to 7:00 pm.  It worked super well the first night.  However, DS is now teething.  He is fine when he is playing but I put him in his crib leave and then he starts crying after I leave.  When I go back in the tears are streaming down his face and he is rubbing his poor gums.  He is okay at night I give him some Tempra but around 4:00 he is miserable so I have taken to bringing him in the bed with us.  We sleep great until 7:00 am and I am doing fantastic with the extra sleep.  Now I am just wondering if I am ruining all my efforts by taking him into bed with me.  Sigh!  Just when you think you are doing something right there is another milestone to test your endurance. 

Oh, and I hear you whoever wrote about not having another room. I have another room in our apartment but it is useless b/c it has glass doors leading to it and our TV is right outside.  I have taped tinfoil to the glass cut up towels to muffle the sound.  Well its so hot the duct tape that was holding up the towels have fallen and the tinfoil looks like I have some bizarre alien thing going on.

[shimzy]

I have black poster paper taped up  with alot of duct tape to kalebs window.  Im not kidding, one useless neighbor told the cops he thought we had a pot grow operation going on lol

  That's one way to get attention I guess lol