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Author Topic: co-sleeping/props need help....please.  (Read 1925 times)

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Offline bethann

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co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« on: June 19, 2007, 19:02:59 pm »
Seeing as I'm 5 wks away from giving birth to dc#2, I think it's about time to sleep train dd.  She's 15 months.  I've recently managed to get her bedtime back to a reasonable time (7:30-8:00), and she sleeps straight through until 7:30-8:00 am.  She's in between 1 and 2 naps during the day - sleeping no later than 3pm. 

Ok- so here's the issue.  She used to fall asleep independantly until 11 months (major illness and never corrected afterwards- though I've tried, just haven't given it my all).  So- she needs me to lay next to her to fall alseep.  And then.....the real issue..... we co-sleep!  The thing is, we really enjoy it, as we both work full time and rarely see her.  I'm just sensing that this will be an issue when the new baby comes.  So- I've got to sleep train.  First, so that she can fall asleep on her own, and second, so that she can stay asleep when she's in her own crib.  (she hates her crib, btw.). 

I've tried gradual removal, but I could never get out of the door before she would chase me.  I think I've got to step it up and just go for the walk/in-walk/out. 

Also- her bedroom is very open to the downstairs, so she'll really only sleep there in the middle of the night.  Do you think it would be awfully confusing if I were to have her nap and fall asleep for the night in my bed (a mattress on the floor- but the room is really quiet and dark and she loves it), and then move her to her crib for the night?  We've done this before, and it worked.  I think it would be the easiest transition at this point, since I've really got to get cracking. 

thanks-

bethann :)
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Offline jessica and emilys mummy

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2007, 19:52:55 pm »
Hi Bethann
I think it would be best to get her straight into her bed from the start.If you start her in your bed and then move her,it may be ok if the baby sleeps all night from day one,but you're going to be up feeding bubs then moving Abigail,then up feeding etc,you'll be exhausted and at some point you'll have to get her into her crib to go to sleep anyway.
I would start with the counting to 10 WI/WO as you really aren't out of the room for long.If you need to,then get blackouts for the window,and start at the weekend so you have time for sleep in between.
If she doesn't like the crib,can you take the side off?We did that with both of ours at an early age and they got on much better.
Let us know how you do.x
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Offline bethann

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2007, 02:27:52 am »
Thanks for the reply.  I'm really hesitant to try to put her down in her crib.  :-\   It seriously is the worst place for a bedroom as it's almost completely open to the downstairs and there's no way to block the light/noise.  She is a light sleeper and will certainly wake if she hears something.  If we had a larger house with a different bedroom scenario I would do it in a heartbeat.  But our house is so tiny!  What if I put a toddler bed in our room?  That way, she would at least be out of our bed and would be sleeping independantly.  I know it's not the best BW solution, but at this point, I really just need to find something that will work for me. 

I hear you though about not moving her- she would certainly wake and would be very confused to find herself in a differnent place.

thanks. :)
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Offline *Natasha*

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2007, 02:50:59 am »
Why does she hate her crib? If you don't want her in the other room could you put the cot in your room so she sleeps in their?
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Offline LucyA

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2007, 03:18:05 am »
Bethann, I agree with Stacy, do you really want/need to stop co-sleeping? Where are you planning for baby to sleep?

Callum until very recently would go to sleep in his cot then come in with us when he woke in the night. A few weeks ago he suddenly refused to come in with us anymore! But we were planning to continue having him in with us and have baby in a basket/cot right next to the bed.

Otherwise, I would probably go for her crib or a toddler bed in your room. Sounds like it would be an easier place for her to sleep.

Good luck!
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Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2007, 12:27:22 pm »
Bethann - I PM'd you on the debate board.  :)
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Offline bethann

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #6 on: June 20, 2007, 13:32:50 pm »
She doesn't like her crib because she knows we are not with her when she sleeps- and at this point she just wants to be next to us.  And like I said, the times when I have gotten her to sleep in her crib, she wakes in no time at all due to the noise she hears from the downstairs.  Also- the doorway to our bedroom is too small to fit the crib into- hence my idea of the toddler bed/mattress.  (It really is a tough living situation!). 

TBO- I'm not sure what I want to do.  :-[  I am thinking it will be easiest for when the new baby comes for Abigail to be in her own crib in her own bed, but I don't see how that is possible considering our living situation.  The next easiest thing would be for her to at least be in her own bed, but still in our room (and as stacy said- she'll probably wake with the baby....although, she doesn't wake at night at all now...).  The third option would be for her to just stay in our bed- which I think would actually be hardest with the new baby- as I plan on having him next to our bed on a cot, and plan to BF with him in my bed and then put him back down (this is what I did w/ abigail until she was 6 months).

If I were to try to get her back in her crib, what would be the best way to do that? (as I don't quite know how I would do that.  :-\ )

I am leaning on just having a toddler bed in our room, as I think that would be the easiest transition for her.  Then maybe I could move it closer and closer to the door, which incidently leads directly into her room...

Thanks for all your advice ladies.  I know, I'm pretty confused here.  :-[
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Offline Erin (redstarfalling)

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2007, 15:04:42 pm »
I think the idea of "her" space is a nice one.  The other cot will be the new baby's "space" too, so it may not provoke as much jealousy. And the big bed is Mommy and Daddy's space!  ;D

Are you planning to get Abigail a baby or a doll or something for when the new baby comes?  We did it with Megan and it worked well - she was able to parallel a lot of what we did with the baby with *hers*.
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binxyboo

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2007, 15:05:34 pm »
How is she going to sleep now, Bethann.

That would be my only concern. I know with Riley, I had to do a GW because he would first only go to sleep on top of me, than snuggled right next to me, stroking my face. It took a while to just have him lie in his own side of the bed and go to sleep without touching me, even if I was lying there.
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Offline EllenS

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #9 on: June 20, 2007, 15:20:11 pm »
There may be a good reason why this will not work, but...
Why not switch rooms?  Give the toddler the dark, enclosed room and put your bed in the more highly-trafficked area,maybe put up a pretty curtain or screen for privacy.  Noise is less  likely to bother the newborn, and then the baby can "graduate" to room-sharing with DS someday?
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Offline bethann

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2007, 18:24:04 pm »
Quote from: Binxyboo on June 20, 2007, 15:05:34 pm
How is she going to sleep now, Bethann.

That would be my only concern. I know with Riley, I had to do a GW because he would first only go to sleep on top of me, than snuggled right next to me, stroking my face. It took a while to just have him lie in his own side of the bed and go to sleep without touching me, even if I was lying there.

That's exactly our situation, Michelle.  I was able to use GW previously and was almost able to get her down without touching me.  We have reverted back, however.   :-[  Should this be my first order of business?

I love the idea of making her own space.  I will do that.  I think it will work best.  She does have a baby of her own- maybe I will get her a new one when the new baby comes. :)

And you're right, Stacy- I will need to be firm with not bringing her into my bed, or she will revert back quickly.  She is a very affectionate/snuggly little girl.
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binxyboo

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2007, 19:03:07 pm »
That's where I would start, Bethann. I would set up her new mattress, push it right next to your bed now if you have to, but work an having Abigail sleep in her space on the bed.

Your GW method worked fine in the past then (bar regressions?)
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Offline bethann

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Re: co-sleeping/props need help....please.
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2007, 19:18:46 pm »
I also loved tents.  We actually had a "bed tent" that attached to our bed.  SO much fun.  Great idea. :)

And yes- GW did work well- only to the point where I let it regress.  :-[  my fault.  I'll get back on it.  It does need to be done- as she is just how you explained Riley, Michelle.  (and will sometimes take an hour to fall alseep.)

Thanks again, ladies.  I know co-sleeping isn't really BW, so I truly appreciate the sincere advice. :) ;)
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