Change in Sleeping

[rmelnechuk]

My daughter will soon be 15 months old and I have only on occassion had my daughter sleep a full night through. Before my daughter was a year old she would sleep most of the night only to wake once at approximately 5:00am or 6:00am. At one year old I returned back to work and I quess it was shortly there after I noticed a change in her sleeping habits. Recently I have been having a difficult time putting her down for her naps and getting her to fall asleep in her crib at night-time. In order for her to fall asleep she needs to be in our bed sleeping next to us. After she does fall asleep we move her to her crib where she will sleep for 2 or 3 hours and then she awakes and will again only go back to sleep once she returns back to our bed. I admit that when it came to teaching my daughter how to sleep I completely have done things wrong. For instance when I breast fed I would allow her to fall asleep at the breast. Then when we transitioned to the bottle we used the bottle as a prop in order for her to fall asleep.

I would love some help as I am beginning to feel very tired and run-down. To mention I might as well be considered a single parent as my husband is away for several weeks on end and therefore do not have lots of help when I running short on sleep myself.

[Layla]

Hi there & welcome!

Could you tell me what her day looks like. How many naps & when, etc... Every time she is back in your room, do you give her the bottle to get her back to sleep???

Layla

[rmelnechuk]

My daughter's routine consists of:

8:00 or 8:30- wake up
8:30- drinks 4-6 oz of bottle of whole milk
8:45- has breakfast usually toast or scrambled eggs or cereal
9:00 til 10:30- plays
10:30- drinks 3-4 oz of bottle of whole milk while playing
11:00- snack usually consisting of crackers and slice of cheese
After snack continues to play
12:00- lunch time followed by 4-6 oz of bottle of whole milk and/or water
12:30 or 1:00- nap time starts
2:00 or 2:30- nap time is over followed by 3-4 oz of bottle of whole milk
3:00- play time
5:00- supper time followed by 3-4 oz of bottle of milk or water
5:30- play time
7:00 or 7:30- 4-6 oz of bottle of milk and a snack to eat followed by more play time
8:00 or 8:30- bath time and quiet play time(usually I read a book)
9:00 or 9:30- 1-2 oz of bottle of milk
10:00- bed time

I usually give my daugther a bottle to go to sleep as she otherwise is crying for 5 to 10 minutes before falling asleep.

[Layla]

Thanks for posting your schedule.

What I would suggest doing is bumping up her bedtime. I believe 10pm is too late & I usually work on a 12hr day. So if she's up for the day at 8am, she should really be in bed at 8pm. The average daytime sleep is 1.5-2hrs & nighttime sleep is 11hrs (so total 13hrs).

So maybe try something like this:

8am - wake for the day
8:30 - bottle
9:00 - breakfast
snack
12:00 - lunch & milk
12.30/1 - nap
2.30/3 - nap ends
snack
6:00 - supper
bedtime routine
maybe another snack before bedtime
8pm - milk & bedtime

If she wakes at night, I would do wi/wo to settle her back to sleep. Don't give her the bottle... she doesn't need it and as you said, its just a prop. She will probably protest & cry but she needs to lwarn how to self soothe.

This is the link for the sleep training methods for toddlers: - https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

Let me know if you have any q's
Layla

[rmelnechuk]

What if my child is going through seperation anxiety. It says that the walk out/walk in stragegy is not recommended. What are the signs of seperation anxiety in order to tell if my child truely is going through seperation anxiety?

[Layla]

Usually when they go through SA, they are much more clingier during the day. You can still do wi/wo if they are goingthrough SA but if she's really not handling things too well (that is, being away from you), then I would recommend the gradual withdrawal method. So you would stay with her until she is falling asleep & then leave. That link will also have the method in detail.

There's another link which will help you chose which method is best. https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0 & https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80822.0

All these links are from the FAQ's (from this forum).

See how you go but if she's playing rather than falling asleep when you are there with her, I would probably suggest the wi/wo method instead. Whichever method you chose, do not give her a bottle. Because that will only confuse her & all that crying is a waste. She needs to learn that when she wakes at night, she won't be given milk to get her back to sleep. Its hard work & it might take a few weeks to see improvements but needs to be done. Again, I would do an earlier bedtime because if they are overtired, its just so uch harder for them to resettle at night.

[Canadian Chrissy]

My daughter has suddenly done the same thing- she needs/wants us to stay in the room until she falls asleep... she is 14 months.   Prior to this she was a good sleeper and was able to fall asleep on her own and was ok with us putting her in the crib awake - and then it all changed

It is so hard to figure out what is going on because there are so many possible factors - just getting over being ill, couple trips away, teething - molars i think, development, separation anxiety, over tired because the naps have been messed up too and we have just recently switched to 1 nap, - you just never know what is going on - it seems there are always so many factors....

Our daughter is very spirited and can be extreme when she gets upset... she often just gets madder with any intervention or help from us but yet is just struggling herself... anyway i am rambling... the point to the story is i came across the wi/wo method and tried it yesterday - 20 minutes of major screaming and then she went to sleep     todays naps were better already too   and i will definately do the wi/wo again tonight...

I found for me it was better to pop my head in the door instead of walking all the way in (she seemed to get madder when i left) and to just tell her to lie down and that it was time for sleepy and close the door... i only went in if she didn't lie down on her own then i would go in and help her lie down and leave.   Got to the point that all i would have to do is open the door and she would lie down and quiet.   you could tell there were times she was ok but yelled just to check if i was still there and was going to peek in on her - i think that assured her that she wasn't alone and helped the separation anxiety part of it.

anyway - i tried it, i was a little skeptical, but it worked.  i will continue.. let me know if you try it and how it goes for you...  Good luck!

[Layla]

What time is the nap & how long? What does her day look like?

[Canadian Chrissy]

My Daughter has always had the same schedule except for the nap changes... her day looks like...


wake up - between 8-9  (usually 8, and plays in crib happy till 9)
Morning bottle, change
Breakfast - yogurt and toast usually.
Activity time
10:30 ish - snack
(most of the time we are out and about for an hour or so to keep her up during this period)
12 - 12:30 ish Lunch (depends on how sleepy she is)
12:30 - 1 ish - nap routine and nap
She naps as long as she needs - before it was till 2:30 or 3
3:00 snack
5:30 Dinner
7:30 Bedtime routine and in bed by 7:45 or 8 (we move it forward if she is too tired to about 7)

I really think she is overtired this switch to 1 nap is taking its toll, so today i gave her a short nap at 11 and woke her after half an hour, and then she went down at 1:30 (fell asleep by 2) and slept till 3:30  - yeah! and bedtime was not a prob - went right to bed no wi/wo - daddy put her down too.

I think what i will do is if she is looking tired at 10 -11 i will put her down for a short nap and wake her instead of trying to extend her awake time till 12:30 or 1 - and if she isn't tired then great and we will nap near noon after lunch.

[Layla]

Yeah, some babies find it hard to transition at 14months so maybe look at doing something like this:

8 - wake for the day
11 - morning nap (wake her at 30mins)
2.30 - afternoon nap
4pm - afternoon nap ends
7.30-8pm -bedtime

I'm going through the same thing at the moment where I have to keep waaking her up in the morning to get her napping longer in the afternoon. ALso you might find that there will be days when she's not falling asleep in the morning & if the morning nap gets pushed too much into the morning, I would try to keep her up until about 12ish & make that her 1 nap day. You might have to bump up the bedtime to about 6.30/7pm to avoid her getting overtired. Thats what I had to do with Isabella as well at that age. It was a matter of how "tired" she was in the morning, how well she slept at night & what time she woke in the morning. She was taking a short morning nap until she was 15months & then it was almost like a "catch up" 2 day nap towards the end of the transition... which she finally made at 16months

Great to hear she took 2 naps today

[Canadian Chrissy]

thanks for the feedback - it is nice to have someone elses opinion on things.. She spent the day with daddy today and had one nap at 1 for 1.5 hours and he said she went down fine - all by herself... put her to bed tonight and not a problem too     I think it was the overtired and if i can keep on it like you said hopefully things will go smoother and she will transistion to one smoother...

what did it look like at the end with Isabella when she was switching to 1 - did she do a morning nap every second day?  how did you know she was done with the short naps in the morning?  did she stop falling asleep in the am? 

[Layla]

thats exactly what happened. She stopped falling asleep in the morning & I would just keep her up until 11.30am and she was stuck on 11.30nap for 1.5-2hrs & a 6pm bedtime with a 6ish wake up time. She needed a 2 nap catch up every 3-4 days & she only did that for about 2 weeks. I am sure she would have taken a morning nap here and there for a while but I kept her up & she did well. Some go ahead and cut the morning nap to 20mins & maybe even 15/10mins but that seemed pointless to me cause even though she was slightly cranky around her usual morning nap time, she did just as well when I kept her up. I think the older they are the better they are at handling longer A times & when she would yawn or something, I took her out for a walk .

Not sure if it will be the same this time around. Today was the very 1st day Jasmine refused her morning nap. I couldn't believe it... she is ALWAYS ready for the morning nap but this morning she was doing laps around the cot & then we had to go to a kids party so she took a snooze at 2pm on the way home. I'm sure she'll be waking up at night tonight  (oh the joy of parenhood  )

[Canadian Chrissy]

Yeah, just when you think you've got it all under control and you settle into the new routine it switches yet agian- they are always keeping you on your toes - hope your night isnt too bad