Takes forever to chew 1 bite - at my wit's end!

[GG]

DS can take 5+ min to chew one bite, even rice! It can take me an hour or more sometimes to get him to eat his lunch or dinner.  I feel as if I'm always feeding these kids!  Would you say that he's prob not hungry if he's doing that? Strange thing is, even when he's had next to nothing for breakfast, he still does this for lunch and then it's his naptime. So he could potentially go for a nap hungry. Then, he sometimes wakes up in the fowlest of moods and he doesn't understand why.   I'm assuming it's hunger because it's usually after a good, long nap, but he doesn't seem to understand that's what he's feeling so he's whining and having a fit.

I don't want to give him a complex about eating - ie. forcing him to eat when he doesn't really want to.  His father keeps telling me that ds is like him... he prefers to just snack rather than eat an entire meal. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to deal with his. Does this mean I should have food ready at all hours of the day for him? Because when he's hungry, he's HUNGRY!

I'm frustrated and tired from trying to figure out how to deal with this. I don't want to look forward to the day when he's over this stage (which is what my mom tells me ). I want to enjoy it now. Any suggestions?

[Jaime]

1.  take a deep breath
2.  remember that eating is one of those things that he has total control over, and what you really want to avoid is him not eating cause it's fun to see mommy angry.   

okay... hmmm.... one thing i've seen around here is that it seems to make a huge difference when you can pick out your own food.  so when i am home all day with them, we have breakfast in the morning (we do sit down together, though luke usually just drinks his milk & picks at his food).  then i have a snack box on the counter.  it's 'full' of stuff that it's perfectly fine if he wants to eat any of it during the day.  (i also have a section in the fridge with a similar purpose)  when it's empty, that's it. 

we do sit down together at mealtimes, and if he eats some of it, great, if not i have been known to hold onto his lunch plate until later when he is hungry.

hope something in this waffle is useful!! 

[*holly*]

Has he been to the dentist?  Is it possible the problem has something to do with his teeth?  I actually have a hard time chewing many things and therefor chew for a long time.  Now, I know I am just a slow person and that I have emotional issues too, but I went to the dentist recently and he comments that my teeth (at least the back ones) were flat (that might not have been his exact word) because I grind my teeth.  I didn't ask him if the two were connected the chewing and the flatness) but I assume the chances are good.
Just my first thought, hope it helps.

[taygensmom]

Is this consistent for all meals/snacks and across days and with all foods? If it is there may be something going on that is worth looking into. If it is very inconsistent then it is more likely related to an independence issue, lack of hugner for some meals, etc...

[rinajack]

I agree with having a days worth of food ready, and they can eat what they want when they want.  My DD eats breakfast (sometimes successfully, sometimes not).  Then grazes ALL morning until nap time.  Doesn't tend to want too much in the afternoon, maybe just one snack, then dinner (which is more often than not less than successful).

I personally also like to eat all morning, and can go hours and hours without food in the afternoon/evening.  I know other people (like my DH) who barely eat all morning and are hungry all afternoon.

Maybe there is some sort of pattern like this, and once you work it out, the hassle will go out of the whole eating process?

[GG]

I know he's teething (his molars came in late last year but now his canines are trying to squeeze into place... OUCH!) but it seems like that's never ending. I guess there may be some days when they bother him and days when they don't. Poor guy can't really tell me.

My main concern, believe it or not, is not that he will go hungry but that he won't throw a fit (because he's hungry) just as I'm about to put dd down for a nap or bedtime, because that's what he does. I guess I'll need to babyproof the kitchen a bit more so that I can feed he'll be safe enough to leave food out and tell him he's welcome to eat whatever is on the table as I head to her room. Part of it is jealousy, I know, and it's hard for me to tell him he's a big boy as I take care of his baby sister. But seeing as she's not that little anymore either I'm starting to treat them more equally.

I'll relax on trying to force him to eat (I'll leave that up to my mom when we visit her ) and let him know he needs to start feeding himself however much he wants.  We'll see how that works out.