Short Naps for 12 week old lg help as is also affecting night sleep

[Jo-Ann]

Hello my LO is 12 weeks & she is a cross between spirited & textbook I think.
We have been BWing since about 5 or 6 weeks with a number of hurdles along the way. (She was a bit colicky & gassy but seems to have outgrown both. I do not think she has a reflux problem but had elevated her mattress just in case but she then seems to roll or squirm into side rail on an angle due to the slope. As this wakes her up I now keep mattress level and she seems fine & never spits up in bed and does not seem uncomfortable or in pain as would be expected with reflux)

We used to have a pretty good routine & still do when possible:
7 am - 8:30 wake eat then actv with 10-15 min wind dwn in room before nap
8:30- 10 nap
10 - 11:30 wake eat actv with 10 min wind dwn before nap
11:30- 1:00 nap
1:00 -2:30 awake eat actv to nap same as above
2:30 - 4 nap
4:00 -5:30 awake eat actv
5:30 -6:15 ish Cat Nap
6:30 eat
Then bath (but now only 2 times per week due to dry skin issues)
Then top up (bf) then off to bed by 7 or 7:30
10:30 or 11 dream feed
3:30 am breast feed

She is breast fed only & I have not yet introd a bottle of breast milk but want to soon so DH can help more & give me more of a real break.

About 3 weeks ago her naps shortened to 45 mins & then that started to affect her night sleep.
(I have been trying to intervene on naps to lengthen to 1.5 hrs again & usually succeed on at least 1 per day sometimes 2 but is getting more difficult sometimes she still awakes even with me trying to pin her dwn to keep her from jolting awake so we try shh pt but sometimes she just will not go back to sleep/ sometimes kranky sometimes seems happy but then gets kranky sooner yet will not nap longer for next nap // If I put her in for next nap earlier she just gets up again after 45 mins & then starts to make 3 hr easy into 2 hr not so easy so try keep her up instead doing mellow things// I don’t think it is due to over stimulation as I keep life pretty mellow just hang out & watch me make breaky, lunch ect diaper chg & a walk around room with Mom looking at our plants or just light on the walls) ( I have also thought about trying to extend actv time but she give definite sleep cues yawning right at 15 mins before she is due to nap ex 8:15 for 8:30 nap. Should I ignore sleep cue & try to keep her up longer for one day even if she gets kranky to see f we can rob frm Peter to pay Paul and start working towards a 3.5 hr easy?)

Now she is often up much more in the night
7:15 - 7:30 bed to sleep
9:30 awakes crying (I have been bf as I think it might have been grwth sprt)
10:30 or 11 still Dream feed or she wakes up & cries and shh pt not working (she was taking a full feed at this feed so fed her)
2:30 or 3:30 am depending on day
If 2:30 then awake again at 4:30 am
If 3:30 then sleeps until 5:30 then sh pt back to sleep until 6:45 or 7
Sometimes if 3:30 sleeps till 6 or 6:30 still sh pt back to sleep until 7

NOW MY QUESTION:
I think that I may rush in at night?? Is it too soon?.
Should I wait until she actually cries before I go into her (especially at 3:30 on a good night where we only do the one wake up after the dream feed) or when I hear her grunting and kicking (more than just her usual stirring) do I go in to feed her before she becomes completely awake. Or should I treat it a little more like a dream feed & try to get her to feed before she actually awakens? (At unusual times when she awakens I always wait for her to cry or fuss really loud before going in just in case she will settle herself) I have not had much luck tanking her up during the day as she is a good eater but will not take more than she wants so even if I have more milk she just stops & that’s it for that feed. She is no waif at 13 1/2lbs at 12 weeks.

PS I still swaddle her but with one hand /not full arm/ sticking out.
She used to sleep 4-5 hrs at a stretch at night from about 5 or 6 weeks & she did not used to cry when going to bed but now she seems to get upset even when we start our wind dwn ritual.

We used to go in say good night to Mr Sunshine, close binds to make room dark & turn on night light, then sing a lullaby in arms standing. Then swaddle on bed and a few more bars of lullaby on shoulder standing. Then pace in crib sh pt and off to sleep. I always stay 20 min past her settling to be sure she does not startle awake.

It seems like something is making her resist bedtime more & more each night. (The resistance is also happening more at nap time) I do not want her to start developing some issue with hating bedtime but am not sure if it is something I am doing or if she is just more aware and that causing her to fuss more.

I have stopped singing the lullaby as it seems to upset her more when she is really resisting and sometimes even sets her off. Now for the past few days even when we go to close the blinds she starts to break down, arch her back, squirm & often cry.
FYI She mutters bby talk herself to sleep sucking on her hand on a good night and whimpers during light sleep periods during naps.

Wow sorry for the run on note which I have posted in both night wakings and naps boards for any advice would be appreciated

Thanks from a sleepy Jo-Ann

[KathrynK]

Hi Jo-Ann

Many many babies start taking 45 min naps around 9 weeks, she is completely normal! It's great that you are able to extend some naps, do persevere and eventually she will learn to extend them on her own, my dd was about 5.5months.

In the meantime you'll need to adjust her A times slightly. If she was able to stay awake 1.5hrs before when she was having 1.5hr naps, then it's likely that on a 45 min nap 1.5 hrs of A time is too long- she is not rested enough from her nap to handle that much awake time. If she gets overtired, this will manifest by her being difficult to put down for naps/ bedtime, she is too wired to wind down for sleep and will cry when you start to wind her down as she is desperate to sleep but literally can't turn her brain and body off enough to fall asleep- overtiredness also manifests by causing night wakings, lo is too wired to sleep soundly enough so is restless and when wakes in the night can be hard to resettle. Does this sound familiar? I think she is overtired and that's why you are having these problems.

The thing to do is to shorten her A times. I would aim for 1hr to 1hr15 until she can handle the longer time better. This does not mean reverting to a 2hr EASY, don't worry! It just takes a bit of juggling and means you will have some A times where she doesn't eat between naps. For example:
7am wake & eat
8.15am nap (let's assume she'll only sleep 45 mins)
9am wake
10am eat
10.15am nap
11am wake
12.15pm nap
1pm wake and eat
and so on. See how the A time from 11 till 12.15 there is no eating? It's common in persistent 45 min nappers to have a routine something like this, we had to do it too.
Also you'll see at 10am there's eating followed by sleeping straight away. As long as you keep the 2 things seperate and don't let her fall asleep whilst eating, there's no danger she will associate eating with sleeping.
Your wind down routine looks good, it's not the lullabies or the routine that's upsetting her, it's the overtiredness. Shorter A times should see her right within a few days.
hope this helps, let us know how you get on