Here I am again... 2 years old with some sleep issues!! Pleas ehelp if you can!!

[**Clare**]

Hey all!!

Ive been putting this off for 3 months now... probably longer but the past 3 months it has been REALLY bad!! Now I'm pregnant, history of miscarriages so am meant to be taking it easy, a good start to taking it easy would be to get a full nights sleep.....

My plan was to wait abit longer until I felt physically up to sleep training him but enoughs enough!! I'm going in open minded so as not to get myself stressed out.  I successfully sleep trained him at 11 months, he went from being rocked to sleep (in my arms) and waking 5 times a night to sleeping independently and all through the night in 1 day, it was fantastic!!

So... the situation now... Harvey broke his cot 3 months ago, rather than buy a new cot we bought a bed! I was adamant that we'd buy a cot bed and take the dies off so we had a cot just incase!! But because of £ DH was dead set against it... bet hes gutted now, the pregnancy was an accident but now we will be needing to buy a cot when baby arrives!! Ha ha ha!!

Since Harveys been in a bed its gone completely down hill, he will not stay in his bed, his room isn't really safe for him to be in alone (long story but nothing we can do about it!) so I have to be there to make sure hes not getting out so I kept going in lying him down but he'd be up before I left the room!! So we went back to cuddling him to sleep and putting him down.... another BIG mistake!! LOL Now he wakes up during the night and climbs in our bed, if we re-settle him and put him back he wakes an hour later... we do the same for naps except he has 2 full days at nursery where they pat his back on a mattress.

To cut a long story short I am completely aware of what the problem is, its very obvious, he has forgotten how to settle himself due to me soothing him to sleep, thats why when he wakes in the night he comes to find me!!

So there's the problem, now I need a solution!!! I have a vague idea of what I need to do but I want to be sure and I want to start tonight!! Last night was the worst night, he had a late nap which resulted in him going to bed at 9, waking at 3 was re settled and put back to bed and woke at 5 and just screamed in our faces through sheer tiredness and frustration  because he so desperately wanted to go back to sleep.... today he fell asleep on the sofa which is highly unusual at half 11 so I think tonight will be a good time to start, he'll have had a good nap but not too late so he will go to bed at half 7 as usual.

Heres a brief summary of his routine (This is in a usual day!!

6.30 wake up
7.00 breakfast and milk
8.30 Nursery or play at home/outings etc
11.30 Lunch at nursery/12.30 at home
1.00 - 3.00 Nap This can vary but is usually 2 hours sometimes shorter at nursery.
3.30 snack
6.00 Tea
7.00 Bath, teeth brushed, story/singing
7.30 Bedtime!

Harvey has a dummy at sleep times which I am happy to keep for the time being.  He is also a highly highly spirited little boy who loves routine and structure!!

I'm sorry this is long, hope you can help xxxx

[**Clare**]

I see you are all avoiding my question!! 

Either because its far to difficult or its just too long to read or your just thinking 'what on earth??'
Oh well, guess ill have to have a go with what I know and hope for the best!! LOL Wish me luck at least!! 

[J & J's Mum]

Hi Clare,

All I can do is offer sympathy!!  My DS is almost 28 months old.  We've had very similar nights with him and he's still in a cot bed.  I keep putting the move to a big bed off because I know he'll be out of the bed and toddling up the landing to our bedroom!!! I know it's got to be done soon though!!
 
YOu need your sleep though, especially now!!   We've been trying for another baby for ages now.  I want DS to be settled in his bed so I can put my feet up and not be running in to his room to settle him.

All I can say is persevere with it.  Maybe don't run in to his room when you know he's out of bed....could you put a baby gateat his door?  At least that would keep him safe and in his room.  I think we're going to do that.  If he falls asleep on the floor, pick him up and put him back in bed.

One thing we've stopped now is stopped taking the baby monitor to bed.  His room isn't too far from ours so if he was distressed in the night we would hear it.  It just gives us a bit more quiet time!!!

Good luck.  Let me know how you get on.

xx

[Lucysmom]

Hi Clare -

Just wanted to respond!  Didn't want you to feel all alone in your retraining mission!  

I guess the only thing I can think of is to have the monitor on in his room so you can hear what he is up to.  If he gets out of bed and starts pottering about the room or comes to your room, tell him it is still night night time or some key phrase that he understands.  Then put him back in bed, give a kiss, and leave.  The next couple times, do the same thing with kissing and saying your key phrase.  Then after that, just wordlessly put him straight back to bed.  Just make it super boring and fruitless for him IYKWIM.    

If he is having any kind of SA issues, this wouldn't be the approach to use.  But from the sounds of your post I don't think that's the case.  

I am planning on keeping Lucy in her crib until she is about 18 years old   so I send you lots of support and encouragement.  You can do this!!!!

Please keep us posted as to how you get on.  It is bedtime there now so I am thinking of you and sending lots of  !

[**Clare**]

Thank you SO much for your replies!!

Hes fast asleep already, its 8pm here, we went up at 7 had a bath and a few stories then its taken him 30 minutes to settle himself BUT with me in the room!! I thought we'd start of slowly plus last time I sleep trained him (very sucsessfully!!) I stayed in the room for the first few night then one night just led him down said 'night night' and that was it!!

So tonight I sat at the end of him bed and laid him down everytime he sat up, he just talked non stop for half an hour!! He kept shouting 'Right Mummy' 'Right Mummy' like he was telling me off, it was so hard not to laugh!! After his non stop chatting and singing he put his arms out for me to give him a cuddle so I did then pulled away which is hard because he likes to hold me tight round the neck to sleep!! He just turned over and a few minute later he'd gone!! He didnt seem that tired despite an early nap!! Goodness knows what he'll be like tomorrow night when he has his normal nap of 1 - 3 at nursery, today was 11.30 - 1.30.

Thank you for your suggestions, I will definately try returning him when he wakes in the night, that was my plan but Im really just hoping he just doesnt wake up!! LOL Dont think that will happen some how!!

The stair gate is something we've thought about but his room is not safe for him to be in alone, I cant explin whats in there but its something to do with the stair well, they look like 3 giant steps and cannot be emoved, perfect for Harvey to climb on or hit his head on the corners so Im not happy for him to get out of his bed which makes this so much harder!!

I can sit on my bed and listen out for him, thats no problem as hes next door, then when he gets out I can just return him.  I think this will be my next step after a few nights of me sitting in there.  For now I am just pleased that hes got himself to sleep with no physical contact from me!! Hooray!! Baby steps as they say!!

Thanks ladies 

[Lucysmom]

Great work tonight!  Enjoy your "Y" time!!!   

[J & J's Mum]

That's great.  Hope your night is stilll going good?

If you want him to walk around/discover his room, you need to sort out the things that aren't safe in his room.  Can you cover them up?  baracade them/someehow try and exclude him from that part of the room?  Just a thought to try and make your you time a bit better.  If hes falls asleep on the floor, he's obviously been happy playing.............so what? pick him up when you are ready and put him in bed.  Like I said before...I'm dreading changing our LO's cotbed to a big bed!!!

Let us know how you get on x

[**Clare**]

Its impossible to do anything, it really is!! His bedroom is SO small, you cant even fit a stansard bed in there!! He has to have a toddler bed!! Its a real box room, he has his bed and1 box of toys and thats it!! There is no way of getting rid of these 'steps' they are 4 ft outwards and 4 ft high, they're huge so there is no way of me blocking them off as such!! Also I would have no problem whatsoever with him playing and falling asleep on the floor but its just not safe for him to be playing in there un supervised!!

Anyway, he has woke once which he sometimes does around 2 hours after falling asleep, usually when hes overtired which he could have been tonight.  What I usually do is go straight in, lay him down, tuck him in and by the time Ive tucked him in hes fast asleep!! Its just catching him so he doesnt wake fully, it works a treat and did tonight so fingers crossed for the rest of the night!!

Thanks again for the advice xxx

[Layla]

Hey Clare... not ignoring you, my day has just started!

You've already gotten some good advise - just return back to bed & be as boring as you can be. Great to hear he was able to fall asleep on his own.... baby steps indeed!!!

Could you maybe take the box out of the room so that he literally has nothing to do other than go to sleep? (other than the toys/loveys he has when he goes to sleep)

Layla

[**Clare**]

Hi Layla,

Thanks for the reply!! I can take the toys out but the steps would still be there and they are very tempting to climb on!! 

Last night went well until early hours of this morning... he woke twice in the night, each time I caught him just before he opened his door and just led him back to his bed, led him down and walked out, he was fine!! But then I couldnt sleep after because I kept thinking that Id just get back to sleep and he'd wake me up again so I just led there for ages then by the time I dosed off he was awake again!!

The mistake came at 5.15 am when I opened my eyes to see him staring at me!! I had no energy left to even move so he climbed in and fell asleep between us like he usually does So tonight Im going to go to bed earlier and try my best to return him anytime before 6.30.  I think the other thing was that at 5.15 would he really have been tired enough to go back to bed and fall asleep on his own?? Obviously he was tired becasue he went to sleep in our bed but I wonder if thats because he had us there for comfort?? Any ideas?? I guess I can only try and see what happens.

Im pleased that he settled himself and when he woke during the night he went back to bed easily, Im just abit gutted I didnt carry on with it this morning....

[Layla]

Its not uncommon for them to wake at 5ish in the morning, especially if they are slightly overtired. I would still try & take him back to bed. Even if he does not go back to bed & you have to start your day at 6am, he will get the idea in time that there is no more sleeping with mummy & daddy & will hopefully keep on sleeping in the morning.

Good idea to go to sleep earlier tonight!!! Good luck hon... you'll get there!

[Claire Anne]

I’m confused about the steps??? Can’t picture what they look like or what on earth they are for?
Not meaning to sound negative but when you do have him trained, and he goes off to sleep on his own, surely you will then just tuck him in and let him off to go to sleep on his own? And how are you going to work out the steps in the room at that point? He probably won’t be calling you or anything so you won’t know what he’s up to in the room…..so are you not going to have to do something about it anyway? Could you use the steps as bookshelves or something, or build a bed frame around them – just to disguise them IYKWIM? 

[**Clare**]

I’m confused about the steps??? Can’t picture what they look like or what on earth they are for?
Not meaning to sound negative but when you do have him trained, and he goes off to sleep on his own, surely you will then just tuck him in and let him off to go to sleep on his own? And how are you going to work out the steps in the room at that point? He probably won’t be calling you or anything so you won’t know what he’s up to in the room…..so are you not going to have to do something about it anyway? Could you use the steps as bookshelves or something, or build a bed frame around them – just to disguise them IYKWIM? 

Ill be back!! 

[**Clare**]

Okay, this is really hard to explain but Im hoping by the use of some photos you'll get the idea!!

These are the 'steps'!! And the second picture is the reason why they are there!! You'll have to try and work it out yourself as its too hard to explain!! The second picture is below Harveys room, see the slope?? The steps cover that.  If you take the steps out you have a big concrete slope!! They were there when we came by the way!!!

If you look on the first picture you can see the end of Harvey's bed, that is how small the room is!!

[**Clare**]

A couple more, one of the steps and one of Harveys room from the landing!! Just so you can get an idea of what Im dealing with here!!

Ill look forward to everyones ideas of what I can do!!!