Not sure if I will be much help, as I am looking for answers too! My 9.5mo ds is the same way! Spirited! Can't settle!! We have finally got a great routine down, which we didn't start until he was about 4 or 5mo. Diaper change, story in rocker, close window shades, sing song while I rock/cradle hold. He gets really relaxed. He will even put thumb in mouth, hum along to song, and lay his head down on my shoulder. It took us awhile to get to this point, but he knows what is coming now. Sometimes he'll start sucking his thumb while I read.
Our problems start when I lay him down after all of this. He tries to settle, but then fidgets all around and gets OT. This will go on and on...for up to two hours. Sometimes I will pick him back up and rock him to sleep in the cradle hold...can take up to 45min! Anyone have suggestions for this?
I hope you have better luck. I think if you establish a routine now, she will catch on and start to relax. I agree with vadensmommy. Let her play in her room/crib, so she associates her room with happieness. Good luck, let us know how it goes.