PLEASE HELP!!14m old has pick up sleep problems

[elmarie]

My DD is 14m and have been a textbook baby up to now.  I have been using EASY since birth. Sleeping was no problem. Just putting down for naps and night sleep and walking out, falling asleep on her own and sleeping through to the morning without problems.  For the past 3 days she has been screaming as soon as I put her down and won't let me leave the room.  Also now waking up at night screaming.  I have used PD like Tracy explained in her book , taking up to 1 h to get her to sleep(she thinks it's a game) and after 3 days it is still taking me 1/2h - to 45m to get her to sleep.  What am I doing wrong.  I am becoming desperate-Please help.

Elmarie X

[KathrynK]

hi there
please can you post your routine- it may be that her A times need some tweaking. 

[elmarie]

Hi there

here is her routine

5.30-6     Wake-up
6.30        Bottle
7            Tea with gran
8            Breakfast
8-11       activity (At home)
11.00-12/12.30      Sleep (1 to 1 1/2 hours)
12.30      Lunch
2.00        Bottle
4.00        Supper
4.30        Walk outside
5.45        Bath, getting reading for bed and bottle
6.15        Bed

Thanks for your help.  I'm desperate!!!

Elmariex

[M and N's Mom]

How long has your DD been on 1 nap?  I'm wondering if she is OT as 6+h of A time in the afternoon is very long.  Could you offer a catnap in the morning and then a longer pm nap so that you don't have more than 4-5h A time before bed?  Just a thought.

[MommaHolmes]

My thoughts exactly - just typing this as you posted M and N's Mom 

Might it be a delayed response to the switch to 1 nap? I know that some LOs seem to handle the transition perfectly but OT can build up over a period of up to 6 weeks before you start to see the results. Can see that you're doing the right thing in terms of fairly early bedtime, but A times still seem very long and nap seems short to handle all that at this age.

How did the transition go for your LO?

[elmarie]

Thanks ladies!!

I will try the catnap today and let you know how the night goes.  It may be that she is overtired.  She has been on  1 nap for a month now and everything seemed fine untill 3 nights ago!

Last night PD was 30-45min, the same as the previous night but DD was more calm than the previous night.  Would lie down and stay put quiker.  She woke at 11pm and 5am but got her back to sleep and woke at 6.15 am.

Elmarie X

[*Mona*]

Elmarie,

if she's been happy with that one nap routine, maybe it's some other factor than being overtired? how is her teething? I know my dd [15 months now, still on two naps- she can't handle being on just one nap] only has problems with sleeping through when a tooth is coming through the gum and no PU/PD can help her then- on Monday I had to sleep with her in my bed

but if you think it may be a matter of her routine, I'd try putting her down for 30min or so catnap at 9:30 or 10am and then give her second nap at around 12:30.

Monika

[magda1461]

have you looked at pain causing the issue? my 14 th old is cutting more teeth and it has played havoc on her sleep.

[Shellha]

My DS is the same age and he has 2.5hrs sleep a day (1 nap) and then 12 hrs at night. He would definately be OT if he only had 1-1.5hrs during the day. Maybe the other girls are on to something???

[elmarie]

Thanks for everyone's response.

I tried a catnap today.  it took more thann an hours PD, and she then had a 40 min nap.  he problem was that she slept through lunch and of course when she woke up from 40 min nap she was starving and i couldn't get her  back to sleep.  maybe if i move the nap on with 30 min, it will be 5 hours between wake up and nap and 5 hours between nap and sleep.

I just noticed her pulling her ears which is a sign that DD is teething,  maybe i will give her Calpol (baby paracetamol in South Africa) for some pain relieve.

Please let me know what you think about 1 nap plan

Elmarie X

[MommaHolmes]

What time did you try for the catnap? If she slept through lunch then it was probably too late in the day for a catnap.

What has worked for us is a 20 min nap (I wake him) at around 9:45am and definitely no later than 10:15, and then a pm nap about 3 hours after he wakes up, so 1pm-ish.

It took a couple of days for him to get used to being woken from the am nap and to settle properly for the pm nap, so I wouldn't give up on just one day's efforts.

[elmarie]

Hi there again,

I did 2 naps yesterday as suggested.  My maid, who looks after DD during the day (I work from home so is in and out the whole day) put her down for her naps (DD adores her!). she always does the day naps.

Here routine yesterday was as follows:

Wake-up     5.30
Nap            9.15 (took 15 min to get here to sleep-slept for 40 min)
Lunch         12.00
Nap            1. 30 (took 5 min and slept for 1 1/2 h)
Supper        4.00
bedtime       6.15

It took me 45min of PD to get her to settle.  Was very hyper, even though she was sleepy after bottle and cuddle.  As soon as I put her in the cot she starts going wild. As soon as she settles I move out of sight as BW suggests.  She bobs her head up all the time to see where I am so I can't leave the room.

She cried at 11pm.  I did 2 PD and settled.  Back to sleep in 10 min.  Up again at 3.30am. 2PD but then kept lifting her head to see where I am. Up again at 5.10-out of desperation and exhaustion I laid down on the bed in her room (haven't had more than 4h sleep the last week with DD sleeping problems.) DD can see bed from cot.  It took 1 min and she was fast asleep.  She woke up at 6.30 and for the first time in a week didn't wake up screaming but chatted as she used too when waking up. At the moment I am so despondent.  A week ago I had a textbook baby that I just put down and left.  She will then sleep till the next morning.  I'm not sure what went wrong.  I know there are other parents with the same problem but at 3 in the morning it feels like you are totally alone.

My questions are:

1. Should I just carry on with PD if she cries.  It has become a problem that I can't leave the room.  How long do I continue with PD and when do I start leaving the room.
2.  is there maybe trust issues or separation anxiety because she settled when I laid on the bed.  I don't wont to start accidental parenting by sleeping in her room.
3. Should I maybe do her bathing a bit earlier.  It is usually bath,bottle, cuddle.  maybe it is too stimulating. Although I don't wont to fiddle too much with routine untill I have sorted out the sleep issues.

Can anybody please help me

Elmarie X
3

[rinajack]

Hi there, thought I would see if I can help too.

Since your lo will take both naps without too much fuss, continue offering the two naps.  You will know this needs to change when she fights one or other.

It does sound to me like she is suffering seperation anxiety issues...I have been through this also.

PU/PD is not always the best tool for dealing with SA, Gradual Withdrawal is usually a better option )and info can be found in the FAQ area).  GW didnt' work for me (she would try to play with me ).  So I did my own modified version of WI/PD/WO and worked really hard to build the trust with my lo.

What I did was - put her to bed (100% consistant routine, even down to the books we read).  Then I said "goodnight, have a good sleep I will see you in the morning" and begin to walk from the room.  She would cry, so many many times I had to walk backwards out of the room, one step each few minutes, shhing her if she wasn't quite settled yet.  If she got up or really cried, I returned to her and repeated that same phrase while laying her back down.  When I managed to back out of the room, I would stand outside, still shhing if she moved to look for me.  And then I would slowly (often over several minutes) close the door.  Over a few nights, this took less and less time, and then one night, I was able to leave (she did call me back though).  When she calls me back, I still go every time, just repeat that same phrase and leave again.  Within a couple of weeks she was playing herself to sleep most of the time, but we still do have some times when she calls us back - I never know what triggers them, but on the whole she is doing very well.

HTH

[elmarie]

Thanks HTH

When you backing out of the door do you go straight back to her when she cries and do PD with the phrase and start all over again with backing out?  Should I persist with GW at 3.30-4ish (this is really the problem time, as she doesn't really want to go to sleep and will cry every 1/2h).   What do think about sleeping in the room from then?)

Just another question.  The problem time is bedtime (our routine has stayed consistent).  When she starts crawling and standing up in the cot, do I just continue with PD untill she settles (last night it was 45min!)

Elmarie X

[M and N's Mom]

When she starts crawling and standing up in the cot, do I just continue with PD until she settles (last night it was 45min!)

IMO, yes, you would keep going and pd with no interaction.  When we had to sleep train our DS CONSISTENCY was the key.  If I caved and helped him even just a bit, it prolonged the process.  It was only when I did nothing for him, that he learned and the time I had to stay gradually got shorter and shorter.