New Mum - we have exactly the same issue with Oliver standing up in his cot and not laying himself back down, I'm sure it's just another technique for making sure we come back in and give him some (however little) attention but I've not got any ideas for how to change it. I'm sure it's contributing to his NW too as it seems that he gets up immediately as he comes into consciousness, so he doesn't get through all those little periods of light sleep that we all have during the night.
I've found that not going *immediately* back into the room when he cries helps when doing WI/PD/WO, if I go in too quickly then it seems to turn into a bit of a game. I don't think it counts as CC as I don't let him cry for more than a minute or so... maybe I'll get shouted at but it's helped us anyway!
Also, Oliver is the same in that he doesn't do well with more than 4.5 hrs between nap and bedtime - this is why I tried giving him longer in the morning, even though he can fall asleep after 5 hrs A time, he's been having up to 6.5 in the last week. It's a slightly risky strategy I know, but 2 nap days weren't working for us, longer A times in the afternoon meant OT at bedtime so taking hours to get to sleep followed by increased NW and EW, and like you I'm not prepared to give him his dinner any earlier than 4pm so 5pm is the earliest bedtime I can manage. How does she do if you keep her up longer in the morning, is she grotty or falling asleep in her lunch? If not then it might be worth considering.
Maybe Deb's suggestion of reinstating the short AM nap will sort things out but alternating 2 naps and 1 nap days really didn't work for our little one, it was more disruptive and he found it harder to fall asleep at naps and bedtime when they kept moving around. It may be that it works for some but not for others?
I think I've posed more questions here than offered answers but at the end of the day, all our kiddies are different and it's a very long and painful road through to finding what works for them.
xx
