2 weeks in and its just not working, i'm losing my patience now.

[michD]

my 20 week old's naps are so erratic and irregular that i am starting to really lose my mind now over this whole EASY situation.  We are doing more of an EASAEAS at the moment as his naps sometimes are short - 45mins or less.  Some days he'll respond well to the shush/pat back to sleep through another cycle, but other days he won't, sometimes he's slept 2 hours nap - so why can't he just do that at every nap time.  He has to sleep in every cycle and there is no ways i can get him on a 4hour EASY, he devours 6oz formula every three hours, sometimes can stretch him to 3.5 hours.  i think i will start him on solids next week as he is just starting to get really hungry.
The main thing that drives me around the bend is trying to maintain the eating, then activity then sleep because Josh wakes up way too early and its not even time for a feed then, and by the time he's had his feed, he's been awake for nearly 1.5 hours and so is already really really tired, then he has his feed and if i were to follow his cues then i would be putting him to bed straight after his feed, which would then make the next cycle even shorter - its all really beginning to get me down now, been at it for 2 weeks.
On a slightly positive note, his nighttime sleeping seems to be getting better now.  he goes go bed at  7pm, has a DF of between 5-6oz at 10:30 or a little earlier, then he's down to waking up about every two hours now rather than every hour after 2am, but he's an early riser, wakes around 5am, then if i swaddle him tight and put his paci back in he'll maybe go until 6am or 6:30.
i just wish his naps would improve and become more regular - is there hope at all?  I have read all the FAQ's and understand what i need to do, and its all stuff that i have been doing, it just hasn't seemed to have paid off yet - when should i expect to see some regularity in his napping?
Sorry for the moan, its just starting to get me down now.
xxx
Michelle

[KathrynK]

Hi Michelle
Some lo's just refuse to nap longer than 45 mins no matter what you do to help them extend; mine was one of them! You can still have a routine but it just needs rejigging to account for extra naps and shorter A time.
Firstly if he is eating 6oz every 3 hrs, have you tried offering him more? My dd was really hungry too, by 5mo she was having 9oz bottles every 4 hours. I would try to get more milk into him at each feed if you can so he learns to go longer.
With short naps you almost have to seperate feeding and eating into 2 seperate cycles, so you are doing a sort of EASAS. So your day might look something like this:
6.30am wake & eat
8am nap 45 mins
8.45am wake
10am eat
10.15am nap 45 mins
11am wake
12.30pm nap 45 mins
1.15pm wake
1.30pm eat
2.45pm nap 45 mins
3.30pm wake
5pm nap 30 mins
5.30pm eat
7pm eat & bed

you can see that eating is roughly 3.5/4hrs but naps are more frequent and sometimes lo is awake without eating between naps. It's common to have to follow something like this if you have a persistent short napper.
It's good that sh/pat sometimes works for you- I had zero success with that technique! For us the only solution was to prevent Sophie from waking in the first place, as once awake nothing would get her back to sleep. Wake 2 Sleep might be worh a try for you to try to stop him waking at 45mins. You'll find more info on that technique in the FAQs.
Don't give up hope- my dd eventually started having longer naps,it might just be that she grew out of it but I am sure that all the work I put in trying to extend her naps did help her learn to do it on her own.
hope this helps
K x

[michD]

Thanks for the tip, i will try to get more milk into him, he's very unpredictable though sometimes with his bottles, sometimes he'll guzzle down 6oz in about 5 mins flat, but sometimes (especially if he has a bad choke on the milk which he sometimes does) he'll start pushing away the bottle at 2oz, but then half an hour later he'll guzzle the rest and look for more - he's quite confusing to understand sometimes, but i think i will start putting 7oz in his bottles and see what he does with that.
I'm going to try the w2s and see if that makes a difference with his short napping.  he's like a different baby though when its bed time, he has his bath, then a big feed, then he goes to sleep without his dummy/paci and he'll sleep right through his dream feed which he takes anything from 4 to 6oz and then he'll sleep on and off from about 2ish through to 5/6 when he is fully awake and chatting in his bed and eventually will start to shout for someone to get him.  he's not yet in his own room, that's a whole different thing we will have to start with and it will probably upset everything we've done so far - but hey, i guess that's just how it is with our precious ones, just when you think you've got it, it all changes:)
thanks so much for the encouragement, really appreciate it.
M x

[KathrynK]

Hi Michelle
don't forget as well that although it's so frustrating and tiring, these short naps are completely normal! It's been said many times on here that babies 0-6 months are organising their night sleep; by the time they get to 6mo most have sorted that out successfully and then spend the next few months sorting out their naps. THis is why many do start to nap better as they get older. Don't fall in to the trap of worrying you must be doing something wrong to cause these short naps; you're not at all.
What flow teats are you using on his bottles?
Do you have a plan for moving him into his own room? There are many tips to help you ease the transition!

[michD]

You're absolutely right, thanks for the positive thoughts.  it can get a bit daunting when you feel like nothing you are doing is working, but in actual fact it is just how our amazing baby is developing and growing up:)  thank you for reminding me of that.
I use two different ones, a #2 teat of the Tommy Tippie bottles, then a Variflow teat (on between I & II setting) of the Avent bottles.  I should probably stick with one bottle though he takes both of them really well, just towards the end starts to get fidgety and then throws himself backwards and goes red in the face if i try and persuade him with more.
We don't have a plan yet for transition to his own room, maybe you could point me in the direction of some FAQ's or tips for that?  thanks:)
Michelle
x

[KathrynK]

hello again
things you can do to help the transitition:
plenty of time playing in his cot/ in his room during the day- maybe put him in there with some toys while you run his bath, put clothes away, etc? he will get used to being there and feel safe if you are popping in and out to check on him
keep your routines the same so he still knows it's bedtime
some start by taking naps in the new room and keeping bedtime as it is for now; as it's naps you are having problems with and he sleeps well at night then I would maybe do it the other way round
To be honest whenever we go anywhere new overnight, like parent's, or in-laws, or holiday etc, we have kept to the exact same bedtime routine, same music, same stuffed toy, etc etc and every time Sophie settles like a dream as she knows it's bedtime. It does help if we give her some time in her "new" room before bed to have a good look round, on some occasions where we haven't done this she has taken a while to go to sleep as she is too busy gazing round being nosey!
hope this helps, keep smiling and stay positive!! x

[Elvira]

Babies at that age are supposed to have 6-8 ounces of milk a feed, or 2-3 ounces multiplied by his weight in pounds a day (it varies because not all children have the same weight/growth rates). So try to offer him more per feed, he might be hungry.

I,m no help at all in naps...simply in my day I let my dd chose when - concentrating my efforts in night time - and it used to be one in the morning of about two hours and a very long one (four hours) between 12 and 16.00 hours,  around 20/22 months.  It was convenient so...