All over the place! HELP

[AngelaAnne]

Okay this might be a little long so I am sorry.  I feel like I am doing his schedule all wrong, because nothing is going right!  My son wont take longer than 45 minute naps.  I have read the ways to keep him asleep, and holding him works for the first jolt he makes, but not for any subsequent jolts.  He always wakes up.  I can't get him going longer than 3 hours between feeds because I can't get him sleeping longer.  He is going to be 4 months on Aug 9.  He used to either sleep through the night or only wake up once.  Now he wakes up 2 times.  Before if he woke up two times, I could stick his pacifier (i know i know) back in his mouth and he would go back to sleep.  Now I have to feed him. 

Here is what our schedule looks like.

E: 8 (I have to wake him up everyday for this)
A: Wipe him down with a wash cloth, lotion, fresh clothes for the day and new diaper.  We play a little bit and then I start walking around with him.  We'll go outside and sit on our bench and talk.
S:9.  I have never been able to keep him up longer than this.  He practically falls asleep in my arms on the way to his crib.  I tried keeping him up longer before and I ended up having a horrendous day.  He was soo tired and would not sleep at all that day and then he didn't sleep AT ALL that night.

A:945 Play under his gym, swing in his swing, or play in his bouncer.  Never any longer than 30 minutes.  Or play with Mommy, go for a walk, or run errands.  It just depends on what we have going on for the day.  Sometimes I just lay him on the floor without a gym under him as well.  This our activities for various time in the day.
E:11 That is the absolute longest I can stretch him or he starts screaming.
S:11-11:30.  I take his cues and he always goes down w/o a fight.  He never is up more than 1.5hr or he gets really cranky.

This is pretty much how our day goes over and over until bedtime.  His bedtime is 8, but if he hasn't slept well during the day he goes down between 7-730.  For bedtime we get ready 1hr before he goes to sleep.  He gets a bath, lotion massage, jammies and lay on the floor and talk to each other. Then I pick him up cuddle, rock a bit and bed.  He always wakes 30-45min into it.  Then again another 30-45 min.  He usually goes right down when I plop the stupid pac back in his mouth.  I tried not dream feeding a couple times, but he wakes up for it.  Goes right back down after eating.  Then he wakes at 230.  Used to take  his pac, but now wants fed.  Wakes again between5-6, feeds and goes down again until I wake him at eight.

My son used to be this happy boy who never cried or fussed.  Everyone would comment how lucky we were.  He is so cranky most the time now.  I want my son back!!  HELP

[vadensmommy]

First off, welcome to the boards!   I have found some wonderful information and met some wonderful ladies, and I hope you have the same experience, and gain some wonderful insights on your lo!

My first instinct would be to say that he needs more A time.  I know you say he is very hard to keep awake, but most babies are able to stay awake closer to 1hr 45min to 2hrs at this age.  Short naps, and night wakings are signs that a baby might be ready for more A time.  The other problems is that he can't go quite as long between feedings.  So it may be a growth spurt as well.  If he is BF however, many times they don't ever make it to the 4hr EASY.  I would slowly start to increase that first A time of the day about 5 min each morning, and see if that starts to help to try and transition him to a 3.5hr EASY, and then see how that goes.  In order to get him fuller you may want to try EAEAS to "tank" him up before taking a nap.  So your day might start something like this

Day 1
E 8:00
A 8-9:05 (may try for another small E around 8:45ish?)
S 9:05-11 (this would obviously be ideal, and if he wakes early, try to get him to go as long as you can before feeding, and if you need to put down early for next nap to avoid OT do so)

Day 2
E 8    A 8-9:10  S 9:10-11:10

Day 3
E 8    A 8-9:15   S 9:15-11:15

Etc.  45 min naps tend to signal that baby needs more A time in order to be tired enough to sleep longer.  I am also wondering is he snacking?  Is he getting a good morning feed in or just enough to hold him to the 3hr mark?  Being hungry could be another contributing factor to him waking up early from naps.  But I think the major thing would be such a short A time to start the day off with. 

When trying to extend dd's A time we always did things very very quietly - no toys, no gymini, nothing hanging over her head, no tv on, etc.  Just very quiet activities - tummy time, swinging in swing (not to sleep), carrying around the house looking around, sitting on porch watching the cars, etc. 
A couple of links:

Time to transition:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0

Is my baby ready to increase his A time?
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.0

Growth spurts and how to tackle them:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=67976.0

Hope some of this helps, let us know how you get on!

[AngelaAnne]

Thank you for the warm welcome and your help!  I've been lurking on here for a little bit.  I've gotten a lot of answers on here just by reading all of the great information posted.  This is a great site and I wish I would have known about this book before my son was born.  I will start trying to increase his A time starting tomorrow.  Also, I am bf, so how long of an EASY should we be on?  I am always paranoid of jeopardizing my supply.  It does seem sometimes like he is snacking, but how do I stop this?  He will stop and just look around and around and not eat once he has eaten a little bit.  He is just so curious! LOL

[lawnseed]

hello!
i mostly just want to say hang in there, we've just been through something similar and are coming out on the other side (fingers crossed!)

i also BF and have been transitioning to a 4 hr EASY from a 3.5 hour. like vadensmommy suggests, if he's on a growth spurt (draining everything!!) then offer him extra 45 mins ish after each feed to increase supply. if he's not, just aim towards 3.5 hourly. what this meant for me was a top up feed right before bed at the end of the day, like a cluster feed which has slowly become one feed.

for iona i was always paranoid about supply too, but i've learnt to trust my body with Eden - if the demand is there, the supply will be too. you may find that if he's on a longer EASY that he's hungry and feeds better.

IKWYM about the curiosity - i find it helps if I feed Eden in the same place with little distraction. obviously not always practical!!!

HTH

Lorna x

[vadensmommy]

lawnseed has great info - and first hand which is something I can't say because we only BF for a week.  As a baby gets older - especially 4-6months the whole world just seems to open up for them, and they want to take it all in!  We spent almost two full months where dd just did not want to eat.  She wanted to sit up (digging her elbows into me trying) and look around, and play, and the last thing she wanted to do was to eat.  Even sitting in the living room where we had always sat to feed her was too stimulating, and I promise it isn't a very exciting living room    So I started feeding her in her own room with the lights turned down (we have a dimmer, so glad I opted for that for the nursery) and close the doors, and we rocked while she ate.  I also read a post on the bottle feeding faq's that says to try putting a bright colored piece of cloth over your shoulder to give the baby something to look at, and although I haven't tried it, it sounded good and might work for a BF baby as well.  Good luck with extending A time, and keep us all posted!!