13 month old still not sleeping through the night

[laurencopenhaver]

Here's what's been happening lately;  he was fighting like crazy for nap, yesterday was up at 6, and waited till 11:15 to put down; was sleeping by 11:20 and slept for an hour and a half.  Then asleep by 6:15.  For the past month, give or take a couple days where we got 2 naps, bedtime has been 6-6:15.  He used to still sleep till 6:30-7, now he's waking at 6.  He's getting 12 hours almost so I can't put back to sleep cause he's happy when he wakes up.  I THINK I've broken the eating at night thing; that only took one night of crying for 2 hours, but it was worth it.  Will he ever go back to sleeping till 7?  Or will that only happen when bedtime gets consistently pushed back.  Cause the few times he was up till 7:30, he still woke at 6.  It'll be awhile till bedtime gets pushed back.  Even if he took a 2 hour nap at 11:30, which doesn't happen, he'd still be in bed by 6:30-6:45.  Will naps lengthen on thier own?  Yesterday he woke crying from his 1.5 hr one nap so I know he was still tired.  1.5 is as long as he's ever napped.

[Layla]

Give it some time for the nap to lengthen. It will even out & he'll probably do 11hrs at night with a 2hr nap. The wake up time will get later once you are able to push the nap more towards noon & so the bedtime will be later & he'll wake a little later too. Isabella was going to bed what it seemed like forever at 6.30pm until one day she started waking up at 5.30am (her body just didn't need 12hrs anymore) & I pushed her nap to 6hrs A time & bedtime to 7pm.

She was also at the start taking only 1-1.5hr naps (& Jasmine is doing the EXACT same thing... who's only gone to 1 nap for the last 2 weeks)... so her bedtime is 6pm & she's asleep by 6:15 with 6-6.30am wake up.

Great to hear he's not eating at night anymore

[laurencopenhaver]

Well this morning I fed him at 5:30; he's teething and woke up every 2 hrs crying, so I gave him some medicine and his sippy and he fell back asleep till 6:30.  Morning awake time the past 2 days has been almost 6 hrs., and bedtime too; maybe I can extend bedtime a little bit.  But when he is ot going to bed, he also does the wakeup every 2 hrs crying thing; his body is sooo sensitive.  He sometimes wakes crying from his nap which usually means a tired afternoon and super early bedtime.  He's getting total of 13.5 hrs in 24 hrs., so I assume he won't nap longer until nights are shorter.

[Layla]

He's getting total of 13.5 hrs in 24 hrs., so I assume he won't nap longer

Well thats the thing.... you need to balance things out between nights & nap. I think 1.5hrs is ok for his age but if you think he needs more than you might have to delay bedtime so nights are 30mins shorter. You could try 15mins later every 3-4 days...

[laurencopenhaver]

The past few nights have been rough, waking 2-3 times; and the last time around 5:30.  He mantra's for awhile then usually cries at 6, and by then he's ready to get up.  If I give him a sippy he goes back to sleep, if I don't he won't.  These sleepless nights for 15 months now is way old.  I know he's teething but I think it's more overtired during the day causing the waking at night.  I can try pushing bedtime back but like last night he napped from 11:35-12:45, then was sleeping by 6:15; not even 6 hrs and still had bad night.  How can I extend bedtime when he's already overtired?  He was supertired for naptime and I actually had to get him to sleep cause he was crying, but still slept for over 30 min.  Usually if he's ot he will wake crying at 30 min.  Should I try extending morning A time first, so he has less awake time before bed?  Seems reversed, but has been so tired at night.  And he's so sensitive that he won't stop waking at night until he's not ot.  And I can't put him to bed earlier than 6.

I'm going to try for 2 naps today since he was up at 5:30; usually I don't have a problem.  so we might have to try again tomorrow.

[Layla]

Some babies are more sensitive to the A time before bed.... so you could try more A time before nap so that he's not going to bed overtired

Sorry to hear things are tough at the moment. Just when I thought Jasmine was going good on 1 nap, she fell asleep in the car at 9.30am (her previous morning nap time) & still managed to nap 1.5hrs in the pm so I guess she still needs a catch up 2 nap day every now & then (she's been on 1 nap for 2 weeks). So be flexible & it really doesn't have to be just 1 nap ... even if he takes 2 short naps in the transition. The A time before bed with us is no more than 5hrs or else I get night wakings as well....

[laurencopenhaver]

Nights just don't seem to be getting any better; last night was atroscious!  Yesterday morning cried from 5-6, fell back asleep finally till 7.  Went down for nap at 12:30 (usually 11:30 when wakes at 6), woke at 1:40, was tired rest of day so was asleep by 6:15 which is normal bedtime when wakes at 12:30-1.  But last night he was up crying for at least 10-30 seconds, 1 minute at least most times; at 7, 8:30, 10:30, 12:30, 1:30, 3 (was up this time until a little after 4), then woke at 6.  I'm starting to think something's wrong.  The ped. says he's fine, but he hardly eats anything, he hasn't gained any weight in over 3 months, could he not be getting enough nutrition?  But then when I get him up he's fine, and doesn't want to eat right away in the morning, so that makes me think he IS eating enough.  His tooth popped through so hes not teething anymore.  If these arent' the reasons, than it has to be ot, and I don't know what to do, cause we tried for 2 naps a few days ago and he still refused.  I run a daycare and my kids don't leave till 5:30 so the earliest I can put him to bed is 6.  Something just doesn't seem right, it feels like he should be sleeping much better than this.  But he's a real happy kid during the day (if he's not teething).  So then I think, must be ok.  Any advice?

[Layla]

I am sorry but I am really out of ideas.... if the ped has cleared him then all those night wakings sound like overtiredness to me. I know you said you tried 2 naps but what about shortening the morning nap to 20mins & then doing the pm nap 2hrs later. What about the possibility of him teething even more teeth. Has he started teething molars yet?

[laurencopenhaver]

His first molar just broke through, he doesn't have eye teeth either.  But he got SUPER cranky w/ that one during the day and now he's fine during the day.  My guess was overtiredness w/ the night wakings too.  This morning was wierd;  yesterday he had a very restless and busy day.  Since he was up at 5:30, he took a morning nap and woke after 30 min. bawling.  Then we went to the zoo in the afternoon, slept for 25 min on the way there.  We didn't get home until 6:30 and he wasn't asleep until 7; normally he would have been asleep by 6-6:15.  But he didn't make a sound until 4:45, then was asleep/awake for 10 min., then woke at 5:30 and mantra cried until I got him up at 6.  And he downed an 8 oz sippy first thing when we come downstairs, so that makes me think maybe hunger and maybe he's not getting enough nutrition.  10-12 hrs is about all he can do, and I think once he gets to the point where he has a fairly long one nap and is back to going to bed at 7:30, it'll be fine.  But I usually feed dinner and his sippy of milk around 5:30 and by the time 5:30 am rolls around, I think he's had enough sleep and is starting to get hungry.  It's just what to do during this transition.  If I feed him at 5:30, he usually goes right back to sleep, if I don't he won't.  But I don't want to get in the habit like I think he already might be b/c that's what he calls for when he wakes is ba ba.  But sometimes when I get him up he doesn't want to eat till 45 min later so I'm confused.

[laurencopenhaver]

Well, we're pretty much back on 2 naps a day now since he's waking no later than 5:30, and not going back to sleep.  So he's been down for first nap by 8:45-9:00, plus get an early afternoon nap around 1-2, and still exhausted by 6:00.  I don't have a clue whats going on.

[Layla]

i dont think he's ready for 1 nap. Let him have 2 naps.... for as long as he will take it. I've tried to switch Jasmine to 1 nap pretty much every month cause there was a time she would refuse or take short pm nap even on short am nap. I've always ended up going back to 2 naps.... finally at 17months she transitioned & can now manage longer A times.

[laurencopenhaver]

Yeah, this is like the 4th time we've tried the one nap thing, and pretty much all it's gotten us is earlier wakeup b/c of continuous 6:00 bedtime.  So as long as wakeup is 5:30-6:00, we'll have 2 naps I'm sure.  I think he'd be fine if he woke at 7:30 or so; cause he can easily handle 4-5 hrs awake time, but when he wakes at 5:30 it makes for a very long morning.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.  I'm going to try to extend bedtime ritual w/ these 2 naps and hopefully get back to a later wakeup.  Maybe by then he'll be able to handle the one nap.

We went to ped today and got a clean bill of health; doesn't think the nights wakings are food related.  Do you consider 4:45-5:30 am night wakings if bedtime is 6-6:30?

What is her schedule like at 17 months?

[Layla]

6am - wakes (sometimes as early as 5.30am)
11-11:15 - morning nap (was 11.30 for a while but then she started taking crappy 45min naps so I think I stretched her too much)
nap generally 1.5-2hrs long
6-6.30pm - bedtime (usually asleep straight away)

[laurencopenhaver]

Well, this morning was a little different;  daddy accidentally left his sippy on his changing table, and when he woke at 5, went to put him back down at 5:30, change his diaper, he saw the sippy and flipped out!  So I ended up giving him some milk and he went right back to sleep till 7!  Ever since the 6:00 bedtime he's been waking at 5-5:30 for 3 weeks straight now and NEVER gone back to sleep.  And cries for sippy and bf as soon as he gets up.  He downed the milk and immediately back to sleep.  Doesn't that seem like what he needs?  His dinner and last sippy is about 5:00 and 5:30 pm; by the time 5:30 am rolls around, that's a good 12 hrs, could he possibly really be hungry?  I don't want to get in the waking for the sippy habit, but for 3 weeks now he's not falling back asleep, even if he tries it's very restless.

I thought we were back to 2 naps but then yesterday he was up at 5 and wouldn't go back to sleep, and I tried for morning nap and just refused for an hour and laughed at me.  So he ended up not going to sleep until 11:35 and only slept for 1 hr 10 min.  So guess we're still figuring out how many naps we're going to take.

I'm all out of ideas; what do you think about what I did this morning; and hopefully today I can push nap back to 12-12:30, and maybe get a later bedtime?  If he was waking by 5:30, and not napping till 11:30; that's 6 hrs.  And from 7:05 this morning to 12-12:30 that's only 5-5.5 hrs.  Could this get us back on track or make it worse.  The way I look at it is not going back to sleep after 5 am makes for a worse day than just feeding him.  He has such a very small appetite anyway,I'm lucky if he'll eat 4 oz yogurt and 3 oz vegetable for a meal and maybe 1-2 oz milk. That's a good day.  So maybe he IS hungry, or maybe it's wishful thinking on my part.  All I know is I'm out of ideas.

[abbysmomma]

Just out of curiosity, have you tried just giving the milk when he wants it? My Abby has started to do this as well, but she can't even get 12 hours - more like 10 hours. I've started to give in and get her some milk, then i get at least another hour of sleep. I can't really see how I can deny milk if she's hungry. My only problem now I guess is trying to up her food intake during the day. She eats a lot and drinks a lot of milk (4L in 5 days!). I'm really stumped, since this is the first time she's had milk during the "night" since she was 8 months old (now 15 months). I'm just crossing my fingers that this is some growth spurt/phase and that she'll stop waking for milk soon. It's only been about 4-5 days since she started.
And about night wakings.. Abby wakes ALL the time. I lost count last night after 10 times. Most of the time it was just a two second cry, and she'll go back to sleep. Three times i had to go in and put her blanket back on her. That's it. One day, she'll grow out of it. Hopefully. Until then, I am the mommy. Honestly, there doesn't always have to be a reason why they wake. Sometimes they just do. And we're one of the "lucky" ones.