10 month old EASY etc. HELP!!!

[JeanetteA]

Hi everyone.  I'm new here at the baby whisperer forum.  My LO is 10 months old and never really had any sort of structured routine.  I mean there is things in the day that we do in the same order but that's not to say that it will happen the same way the next day.  From an early age my DS has been using breastfeeding as a prop to go to sleep.  I am afraid not to bf to sleep at nap time because it works so well.  I guess i should be working on getting him on a 5 hour EASY?? Can some one tell me how to get this kid on track.  He doesn't sleep through the night either.  He wakes many times wanting to be fed to sleep and i'll admit that i'm so tired that i just put him in our bed and feed him.  I know that needs to stop too. HELP!!

[zed]

Oh, how I feel your pain and frustration.  I was you 4 months ago.  This is what worked for me.

I made sure that I got my LO up at 7am.  I then planed out roughly when meals would be. 
7:30 breakfast
10 snack
12 lunch
3:30 snack
5  dinner
6:30 bedtime snack
7 bed

Next I got tough about what was going to be offered at each meal.  I gave solids at breakfast, Lunch, dinnerand BT snack.  I nursed at the daytime snacktimes.  My LO refused to eat at meal times so then I decided that I was going to switch to formula for the snack times. 

I also made sure that my LO got 2 - 1.5 hour naps a day.  10:30 and 2:00.  Lots of outside play makes this easier.

The main thing I learned is to not give in.  Don't say, "oh, you didn't want your lunch so I guess I will nurse you,"  It may be difficult for a day or two but your LO will figure out that if he is hungry he better eat when he has the opportunity. 

As for night wakings I compromised on Tracy's strategy b/c I two had been nursing through the night. (also b/c I started on my strategy before I got her book.) Once again, I planed when I would give what.  At 1am and not before I gave 4 oz of water.  If my LO was awake at 4 (which he was every night) I gave 4 oz of formula.  After that I refused to let my LO out of bed before 7 am. 

The next thing I did was to slowly reduce how much formula I was giving.  I reduced the amount by 1 oz of formula a week.  while I was dropping the formula, I started to move the water later and later until I got it as close to 6 as I could.  I also reduced the amount of water weekly too.  Finally I extended morning waking by using Tracy's shush pat method.  Quite often I would end up in my toddlers bed with my toddler moved in my bed with my DH.  This way I didn't have to be standing and freezing the entire time.  I used my voice to calm my LO as much as possible.  I also blacked out the kids room.  This way I was sure that morning sun wasn't waking my LO.

I hope all of  this makes sense,  I'm sure you'll figure out what works for your LO.

Good luck,

This entire process took less than a month.

[Grace's Mom]

Hi there.  Welcome to BW!   

For now, don't worry to much about the clock as with a routine it's just about a sequence of events that usually happen around the same time every day.  No day will look exactly the same and that is perfectly ok. I would just start with the beginning of the day....does he wake up around the same time every day?   If not, try to get a someone consistant start to the day.  Give a nice big feed for breakfast....BF then breakfast either right after or a bit after....it depends on what he likes.  Then start slowly weaning the bf from the nap.  Does he actually need to eat right before a nap (is he actually hungry) or are you feeding him at that time just to get him to sleep?   I would just slowly introduce independent sleep to him...take things one day at a time.  It will take some time as for 10 months he was use to falling asleep eating.  With any change it will take a good 3-5 days or longer for their systems to adjust so just be patient and consistant and things will work out.    Start with a good wind down time and nap time routine so that he becomes aware of what to expect. Are you already doing that?

What does his routine look like now...on an average day?

5 hours is a really long time for a 10 month old.  My little one at 10 months was only staying awake 3 - 3.5 hours so he might be a bit overtired which is why he may not be napping well and having night wakings.  Of course all lo's are different.

For the bf as a sleep prop, I would post under PROPS (https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=28.0)!  They will be able to help you there tons! 

Here are some links on how to teach independent sleep....

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85498.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=95670.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64836.0

Here are some links that may be of some help in regards to starting EASY....

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=69369.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63534.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65943.0

-Melissa

[JeanetteA]

In the book it says that "somewhere between 9 months and 1 year, your baby will be able to go 5 hours between feeds." No he isn't hungry at nap time he just needs it to go to sleep.  I've been putting him down at bedtime awake for some time now and he will settle himself at bedtime. But during the night and at nap time is a different story.  I don't want to lose the time i get to myself when he's napping to stand there and try and make him settle himself.  Next thing you know nap is over, he hasn't slept and i get no peace.  I also should tell you that i live with my parents and they don't like to hear him cry AT ALL.  So in the middle of the night when i should be trying to let him settle himself i opt for the quickest solution for him to stop crying and that's breastfeeding.  So i will post in the props section.  I think i already know what i have to do though and part of that entails only feeding him at set times, not before and not after.  I have to endure a few sleepless nights to get him used to not being fed all the time.  I know they say to feed them more during the day for the food they lose at night but sometimes that's hard too.  Some days he's hungrier than other and other days it's like he's not hungry at all.  As for naps i have to bare down again and get him settling on his own.  I haven't tried PUPD yet.  Have you had success with it?  As for our routine now looks like this:
               7:30 Wake up
               8:30 Breakfast- infant cereal and fruit
                      Bottle after breakfast
               Breastfeeding to sleep for nap
               9:30ish Morning Nap
               11:30 Awake from nap
               12:30 Lunch
                        Bottle after lunch
                Breastfeeding to sleep for nap
                3:00 ish Afternoon Nap
                4:30 Awake from nap
                5:30 Dinner
                7:00 Bath, PJs, Bottle
                       Stories
                       Breastfeeding
                8:00 in crib awake
                8:30 asleep

               

[Grace's Mom]

I thought you were talking about 5 hours of A time...sorry for the missunderstanding.  Remember with any book that they are just guides and that every baby is different so the best thing to do is go with what you know your lo needs.
My lo has never gone 5 hours between feeds, now we have 3 main feeds and two small snacks...
7am breakfast
10:30 snack
12pm lunch
3:30 small snack
5-5:30 dinner
And then she goes 13+ hours with no food....and she's a really small eater...not sure how she does it as I can't go that long. 
Of course at 10 months we still had 3 bottles during the day....morning/afternoon/right before bed plus the three main meals....just no snacks.

Your parents need to realize that babies cry  and in times of transition crying will happen but you will be there to help him settle and soon enough there won't be any crying (for the most part).   I hope they will be able to respect what ever decision you make. 

We've never done PU/PD as we use a paci and my daughter had reflux.  By the time her reflux went away she didn't need pu/pd....she was sleeping fine by herself from 6 months on and we don't have to go in at all now...kiss her goodnight and leave. It was a lot of hard work initially but it was sooooo worth it.  Yes, I lost out on a lot of Y time but now I get every single Y time and I don't have to spend one minute putting her to sleep.    

Have you visited the props thread/board?  Have they been able to assist you in putting together a plan on how to not bf to sleep?

Your routine looks pretty good!  As long as his naps continue to be those lengths and he sleeps through the night just fine than I wouldn't worry about too much.  What are your complaints about your routine...what would you like to change?  I think once he knows you aren't going to feed him through out the night, the night wakings will stop and he'll get better sleep and so will you.  Plus it will help his day time routine to adjust and settle. 

Melissa

[JeanetteA]

The only thing in the routine i'm not sure about is that it isn't really an EASY plan.  I don't feed him when he wakes in the morning or after naps.  I've been giving him solids about an hour after he wakes and right after i give him a bottle.  Do you think i should give the bottle when he wakes, that would make it more of an EASY plan, wouldn't it.  Right now its more like this AEAESY.  When he wakes in the morning he has A an hour later he has the E then it's more A and then E (breastfeeding to sleep for nap) which brings us into the S and Y.  Make sense, what do you think?

[Grace's Mom]

With your routine I was mostly looking at time of naps and A time, etc.  With the food you could....

pick a time in the morning...say 7:30....wake up, get him dressed and then give him a bottle to start the day.  Then maybe an hour later give him his breakfast (8:30 or so...then he should be able to go until 12 before another feed).  The after he wakes from his first nap give him his bottle and then an hour later give him lunch, etc.

Again, it all depends on what you want to do.  If you want to stop him from falling asleep on the breast then I would move the feeds around.  He can go 4 hours with out a feed so it's not like he will be hungry going to sleep with out eating as he is getting food before hand and afterwards, just not the second before.  Soon he'll be one and will be moving to sippy cups so it will be harder for him to go to sleep eating, unless you'll be bfing still.  I think the sooner you transition the better.  The older they get the harder it becomes, but you have to be the one to want to do it.  It's 100% up to you!    What ever you decide will be fine as long as it is working well for the both of you....we are here to help you in any way we can!