Need 2-1 nap transition advice AGAIN! LOL!

[becky1969]

LO is 14.5 months. He made the 2-1 nap transition at around 12 months, but it only lasted for a month b/c he started getting his molars in, and teething always makes him extra tired. So, we went back to 2 naps which seemed to work pretty well. We've had 1 NW for several months now, that DH & I screwed up by adding some AP with a bottle. We're currently weaning the bottle (down from 8 oz to 5 oz), so we're working on that.

However, now that he's going back to 1 nap, he's overtired by bedtime! Even though I've moved it a whole hour earlier from 7:30-6:30.  He just can't quite make it. Also, he went from napping 2.5-3 hours per day to only 1.5 hours.

So, my questions are these:

1) Will that nap slowly lengthen on it's own? Is there anything I can do to change it? He's going down for his nap around noon (after a 7:45-8 am wake-up). Would changing the nap time help lengthen the nap ideally to 2+ hours?

2) Should I offer a short catnap later in the day until he's able to extend A time? Since he's waking at 1:30, there's no way he'd nap before 4:30. Is that too late?

3) Should I make bedtime even earlier?? Truthfully, he'd probably go to bed at 5:30 if I tried it. But I dread a 5:30 am wake-up. However, does that make sense to do that for awhile? Dr. Weissbluth's book on sleep says that a 5:30 pm bedtime CAN be necessary for awhile, as you are transitioning naps. Has anyone done that and had success?

Our NW tends to last anywhere from 30-90 minutes. When he's had a good nap day (meaning, only 4 hours A time before bed), he just has the one NW and sleeps without a peep the rest of the night. I think once we wean the bottle and get rid of the OT, we'll be having some pretty great nights! It's just getting there that is hard! 

[theasmum]

With Thea the catnap worked really well. Very soon she didnīt need it. The days she didnīt have a second nap i used to put her to bed an hour earlier.
She started with one nap of 1 1/2 hours, but now she sleep 2 hours without me doing anything.
good luck!

[Layla]

Becky if he is overtied by bedtime have you tried going back to 2 naps (short catnap and longer afternoon nap) We finally made the transition at 15months but anything before that she would be taking 2 naps every 3days or so. Might be worth a shot to let him catch up on some sleep.

To answer your questions more specifically:

1) Will that nap slowly lengthen on it's own? Is there anything I can do to change it? He's going down for his nap around noon (after a 7:45-8 am wake-up). Would changing the nap time help lengthen the nap ideally to 2+ hours?

Yes, yes and yes. The nap will eventually lengthen to 1.5-2hrs but for now 1hr is really not enough so again I would do a morning catnap and a longer pm nap.

2) Should I offer a short catnap later in the day until he's able to extend A time? Since he's waking at 1:30, there's no way he'd nap before 4:30. Is that too late?

Isabella never took a catnap in the early evening so I had to do it the other way around. Maybe do the opposite and let him have a long morning nap and thne offer a catnap in the afternoon to tie him over till bedtime. When its 2 naps its usually a morning and afternoon (wether its long morning/short afternoon or short morning/long afternoon) but I am not sure that an afternoon and then another late afternoon nap will work??? He might not be tired enough to take it around 4.30 and in my opinion that is too late of a nap and might interfere with a reasonable bedtime.

3) Should I make bedtime even earlier?? Truthfully, he'd probably go to bed at 5:30 if I tried it. But I dread a 5:30 am wake-up. However, does that make sense to do that for awhile? Dr. Weissbluth's book on sleep says that a 5:30 pm bedtime CAN be necessary for awhile, as you are transitioning naps. Has anyone done that and had success?

Well actually believe it or not, I absolutely LOVE that book and did follow his advise on the super early bedtime. I used to put Isabella on some days as early as 5pm so to me 5.30pm does not seem that insane  . Worked like a charm and I was terrified of a 5am start but it was mainly during that transition & when she had some terrible nap days. No point in keeping up an overtired cranky baby. When I realised she was not ready and went back to 2naps our bedtime was 6-6.30 (she's a 6am starter thou). She was only able to have her A time stretched to 5.5 hrs around 17months or so...


You will get there and the NW will go away. Not too long to go now but try and keep away from overtiredness. I would honestly try 2 naps for a few days and then try to stretch his morning again. Btw, she did the exact same thing when I went to 1nap at around 13months. She was taking a really nice long pm nap and I thought we were done (and wondered what on earth everyone was on about) but then it went all haywire and she was clearly not as ready as I thought. So then it was back to 2 naps...1...2...until finally she refused to sleep in the morning and could comfortably stay away till nap time (which mind you at the start was only 11.30am & bedtime for ages was 6-6.30, depending on the length of the nap). Slowly stretched her to 12-12.30, which is what she is on now.


Let me know what you think
Layla

[becky1969]

Thank you THANK YOU for the wonderful advice!! I think you are right on about going back to 2 naps. It's hard to know what to do because he can stretch that A time for one part of the day, just not the other. And, he's also gotten so much better about being happy, even when he's tired! It used to be, once he was tired you better get his butt to bed or he'd be really undone. Now, he's still smiley and happy, so it's a little harder to tell when he's crossed the line into OT land!

So, yesterday he went down for his nap at noon, but only slept 45 min. Obviously, that wasn't enough. But, waking at 12:45 meant he wouldn't be sleepy again until about 3:45. So, I put him down for a nap then and let him sleep until 5 (I had to wake him up). Then, we tried bedtime at 8 but he had none of it, and didn't fall asleep until 8:45. But he slept GREAT! He did his little wake up at 1 am, but I was able to get him to go back to sleep without a bottle! I didn't even need to do WI/WO, b/c he wasn't standing in his crib. He was crying while laying down, so I just placed my hand on his back and shushed him. I had to do it twice (leaving once), but it worked!!!!! Then he slept until 6 am without a peep. He fussed then, but put himself back to sleep without any intervention from me, and woke at 7:15 for the day. Very happy about that!

Today, he's on a 2 nap schedule; he only got 10.5 hours of sleep last night, so he was pretty knackered this morning. He also was super fussy this PM, so I have a feeling his last molar is still working it's way thru the gum today. At any rate, I feel more confident that we can get his NW eliminated. Last night was a HUGE step forward: only 30 minutes, no standing adn crying in crib, and no bottle! OT is definitely the issue, so I will do whatever it takes to keep that from happening. It's funny because I'm the queen of OT - DH makes fun of me and says that whenever something is going wrong with owen I blame it on OT.  So, it makes sense that it's our issue yet again! 

Doesn't it seem to you like some LO are more sensitive to being OT? I know lots of moms who really let their kids get OT (it's obvious in the way their children behave, plus their kids are living on 45-60 minutes of sleep during the day!!), yet they are getting full night's sleep. I think each child is just different in how they handle it. Mine is super sensitive, though he seems to be getting less so as he ages. Good thing he's so cute! 

[M and N's Mom]

Doesn't it seem to you like some LO are more sensitive to being OT? I know lots of moms who really let their kids get OT (it's obvious in the way their children behave, plus their kids are living on 45-60 minutes of sleep during the day!!), yet they are getting full night's sleep. I think each child is just different in how they handle it. Mine is super sensitive, though he seems to be getting less so as he ages. Good thing he's so cute! 

I had to laugh when I read this as I have said it so many times.  My DD was/is a great sleeper and if she got overtired it never affected her nights.  So, when DS came along and started having nw's from overtiredness I didn't get it.  I had my DD on a routine, but things like the 2-1 nap switch weren't an issue...I just pushed her until lunch and then she'd sleep for 3 hours!  My DS is also super-sensitive to being overtired, short naps, etc.  I totally think some lo's are just more sensitive!

[becky1969]

Thanks for saying that!! Sometimes I beat myself up, thinking there MUST be some other thing I'm doing wrong. But I've gotten to know my kid pretty well over the last year +, and I can totally predict that if he's overtired we'll have more than one NW, or if he goes down too late for a nap (15 minutes can make a difference!), that the nap will be short. I feel like I'm obsessed with the clock sometimes, but it's what I have to do to ensure good sleep! Thankfully, I learned this early on, so we only had to fight the short nap monster at 3 months old, and then on rare occasions since then. We're going thru it again now, and I know it's b/c he's on the verge of needing just 1 nap but can't quite do it. I think the next month will be crazy, but after that hopefully we'll be ready to settle into a 1 nap routine.

I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one with a sensitive child!

[aisling]

Sensitive guy here too!  OT is our worst enemy.  We were at Dh's aunts last night and Nello was rubbing his eyes and turning in to me and then go off and play, but then come back and say MAMA.  I'm like, well I better get going, we are already late for bed, he is tired.  His aunt was like WHY?  He is so happy playing with all the cousins and he looks wide awake.  Right on cue, we look over at him and his cheeks are bright red flushed and he came over to me again MAMA and started clinging to my neck and waving bye bye to everyone.  I looked (smug I may add) at the cousins and Aunts and my DH and said, well I am off, he is ready!  Of course, he got to bed late and we had a 1am (brief as well) wake up and today's nap was not great.  We know our children!  Leave us alone!!!  That is all I ask!    Thanks for letting me vent and share on your post Becky! Hope you don't mind. Glad the 2 nap is working out! 

Aisling x

[Layla]

Becky - OT is Jasmine's middle name  . If she is in bed 15mins later than usual, she is up at 5am crying. I have stopped caring about what people say and dh didn't believe it until I used to point it out to him.... You are his mother and no one knows him best. Do what works for your lo best.

Keep going back to 2 naps if he seems to need him. This will all be over soon!!!
Keep posting
Layla

[becky1969]

Aisling, I'm grateful you posted that!! Like I said, sometimes I feel crazy, so it's good to know there are other LOs out there like this!

Layla : My DH never believed me either (he claimed we needed to 'tire him out more'  ), but he's finally come around. I would specifically say "This has been a 1 nap day, and he was up too long before bed. We will have multiple wakings." and...Voila! That's exactly what would happen! He thought going outside, playing rough before bed, etc. would help. Argh. At least now he's on my team again!

I feel like a new woman today. LO slept thru the night!! Well, almost. He did have a brief waking at 2:30. I let DH take care of it entirely. He shush patted (emphasis on the shush) in the crib. LO slept for 15 minutes then woke again. now I'll tell you our shameful secret. Normally, waking again in 15 minutes we would get frustrated and a) swaddle, and b) feed bottle. DH ALMOST fed bottle. He actually went downstairs to get it ready, but LO fell back to sleep on his own before it was done! Woohoo! That taught us a HUGE lesson! LET THE POOR KID BE!! He knows how to do it, stop rushing to fix it. We knew this before, but when he was getting those #$#$@*O& molars in, he was so inconsolable all the time that we added a pile of props. The molar is nearly completely in now, so he doesn't have pain on his plate anymore. That's helping a lot. So we need to drop the props! Anyway, he fell back to sleep on his own at 3, fussed a tiny bit a little before 7 but put himself back to sleep and is still there now (about 30 minutes later). No intervention! No bottle! No getting out of crib! No stupid swaddle that is meant for an infant!!!!

We did 2 naps yesterday. AM nap was 1.5, PM nap was 30 (but it lasted until 5pm). Now that i know this is key, I'm going to limit AM nap to 30, and make PM nap longer so that we aren't sleeping until 5 pm. I think I can tweak it that way. We're getting closer to 1 nap, though, b/c he's almost at 4 hours of A time between naps. If he can go past 4 hours, I think we can then make it to bedtime! Or, if he could just stretch that 1 nap to 2.5 hours like he used to, then I think it would work too. Maybe soon!!

Thanks for all your help. It also helps that he finished teething on Monday, but I wouldn't have had the courage to ditch the props without you guys. And reinforcing the 2 naps was so valuable. THANK YOU!

P.S. I realize two nights isn't forever! But I feel like at least we're on the right track! 

[aisling]

 ;DHooray Becky!!!

A x

[becky1969]

We had a NW last night, but I knew to expect it. we were out and about, and his only chance for a PM nap was in the car and he didn't sleep. It's SO much easier to be up at night when you a) know the cause, and b) know he CAN sleep thru the night! Today he should be able to take a PM nap, so I'm excited to see how it goes! Didn't think I'd EVER be excited about bedtime again! 

I'm proud that despite being up for 1.5 hours last night, we didn't resort to any props. He actually did put himself to sleep once, but woke up with a sneeze.  I had to help a little bit later by holding him until he relaxed, and then I was able to put him down drowzy but awake (though barely). He then slept for another 5 hours! Woohoo!

[M and N's Mom]

 

BTW, I love your pictures of your little guy - too cute!  And what a great birthday...Dec 28 is my birthday!

[Layla]

Becky that sounds great! No swaddle and no bottles  . Your little man knows what he is doing!!!

Oh and  to those damn molars....


Layla

[becky1969]

M&N's mom - thank you for the compliment on his pictures! It was hard to get DH to approve the $$$ for the formal pics, but now he's the one showing them off to everyone!  And glad he shares his b-day with you! How did you celebrate as a child? Did you get all your b-day presents on your birthday, or did you have kid parties at a different time of year? We're struggling with that decision right now.

Owen had his PM nap today, and went down easily for bed. So feeling hopeful about tonight! We'll see what happens!

[M and N's Mom]

We always celebrated on my birthday, and got my presents from my parents then.  I was always adamant that Christmas and my birthday were separate and I didn't get one big gift for both (DH learned that the hard way the first year we were dating  ).  As a kid I'd make a Christmas list and tell my parents that whatever I didn't get for Christmas was what I wanted for my birthday ('cause there wasn't time to make a new wish list in between).

Kid parties would usually be a week later, but truthfully it was hard as people are so busy at that time of year people often were unable to come (still that way if DH tries to plan something for me).  We didn't do a birthday something another time of the year, but I am an only child so I was spoiled anyway  /