Eating is getting worse......

[J & J's Mum]

Please can somebody give me some advice!  Nobody has answered my previous post and I am really pulling my hair out now.  I don't know what to do.

My ds has been an extremely picky eater for ages now.  we have been out for a small walk this morning and I thought I would give him his lunch at 11.30.  I started preparing it at 11.15 and he cam in the kitchen asking for his dinner.  I told him (as best I could) that it wasn't ready and he screamed and screamed, so I sat him hin his chair and gave him a couple of his books, which worked for about 1 minute.  I tried to distract him but no joy.  I ended up giving him a small sausage roll out of the fridge and he ate a small piece of bread and butter then said his version of "I want to go to bed".  So at 11.30 he went to bed and has fallen straight to sleep. 

I just can't seem to get his routine right at all.  He woke at 7.15, had a very small breakfast at 7.30, we went out at 9.00 to feed the ducks, where he ate a bit of their bread(it was fresh!) and 1/2 bag of fruit flakes (chewy strawberry pieces - full of goodness) and he's managed 1/2 a small sos roll. 

I cook him and prepare lunches/dinners, but he always wants them before they are ready, then after a few mouthfuls wants to go to bed!

Please can somebody advise. 

[Johanne]

My initial reaction to this is based on my experience of mothering my 6 year old - i didn't do BW then, so if this conflicts with the BW routine then I'm sure someone will jump in. I think partially it depends on when he has breakfast and is there not a possibilty he could have what we call in our house the "ten o'clock snack" - Cam has had one since 8 months and still does aged 6! Then could you put him down for a nap and give him lunch when he wakes. It's not as if he is "feeding to sleep" like a newborn. That is what I would do anyway. We always found Cam needed 3 meals a day plus a mid-afternoon and mid-morning snack.

Jo xxx

[J & J's Mum]

Hi,  Thanks so much for your advice.

He normally has breakfast between 7.30-8.15.  Then a mid-morning snack, lunch around 12 then nap at 1.00.

He's been going to playgroup in the mornings (this actually finishes tomorrow, so maybe we can work on it in the school holidays) so he doesn't get home til 12.30 by which time he's too tired to eat.  He used to eat his lunch when he came back from playgroup.  It's like he's going through a phase again.

I have a really big issue at the moment, because he will not eat veggies, so I have to mix them up with meat and put mashed potato with it.  This has always been the case.  Now he has a few spoonfuls and pushes the plate away.  I'm trying not to give him snacks for at least 3 hours before his dinner.  I think when he's at home in the afternoon, he gets bored and just asks for food.  I just feel like I'm being a terrible mother!  I know it sounds silly, but I do.

[Johanne]

Actually that's something I meant to put and fogot - my 6 year old *still* asks for food for attention seeking - if dinner isn't ready and he tantrums i'd explain he has to wait (if it's not unreasonable) and give him a time out or whatever you use for discipline if he won't cooperate. He is going to have to learn he can't have everything he wants NOW! (LOL - easier said than done )

Jo xxx

[Samuel's mum]

You sounds really tense about this but actually if you just think about what he's had this morning: some breakfast, some bread, strawberry pieces, sausage roll, bread and butter - that's not nothing and it's not junk. And you know that part of the factor here is tiredness and catching the routine right.

Mashed potato is a great staple. Having some veggies and meat with mashed potato - even just a few spoonfuls is worthwhile. A few spoonfuls is actually not inappropriate at this age.

I'm not saying you don't have a problem but I think things are better than you realise. I've always been told how toddlers go through this scary phase where they slow right down in their growth and end up eating surprisingly little. I know on these boards there are some great eaters who have these amazing home cooked meals but that's not everyone. I'm guessing you've found the picky eaters support thread?

I've been told you should judge a toddler's diet based on a week for balance and nutrients and try not to judge every single day. There will be good days and bad days.
As for his afternoon grazing - I don't think that's a bad thing. It's just about what's around. Maybe you could use his mashed potato more creatively e.g. make little cheesy potato patties he can nibble on. Or have a dip based on mashed potato.

You are not a terrible mother and I think you should try and relax a little bit if you possibly can. Because if he picks up on your tension it could make things worse (I know - easier to say ). Spend a few days and write down exactly what he eats - it might be more than you realise.

[J & J's Mum]

Thank you both so much for your advice.  I think I'll start noting down what and when he eats and compare it over a week.  I think I'm just comparing to other very very good eaters!!!

Thanks again
xx

[Sylvia.]

you are not a terrible mother, my dd1 is a peaky eater, we have always had problems, i started having a bowl of cooked vegetable in the fridge, she would sometimes eat this whilst i finished cooking, i had the same play group problem, i do lunch at playgroup or on the way home, saves on the mess at home as well

[J & J's Mum]

Hi,  There is now way he would eat a bowl of veg while I prepared his meal....not a chance.  I'ev tried lots of times.  Now, if it was a bowl of crisps or cake...he would woolf it down!!

He ate quite a lot for his dinner tonight, which I'm really pleased about. 

My problem is, I think, that I give in to him too easily!!!  I'm so trying to change!

[J & J's Mum]

Hi,

I just wanted to give you an update!!!

My little man ate half of his Daddy's branflakes in bed this morning, then we came downstairs and he ate 1 1/2 little organic sausages and 1piece of eggy bread (without the crusts!)  He's never ever eaten egg before!!!  I can't believe it!!!!  I phoned my Mum to tell her, I was that excited.....how sad!!!!!

[jennyh]

its not sad ,hurray

[Samuel's mum]

That's great!

[franchick]

Jacob's mum - that's brilliant - I know you are going through a tough time right now - I have heard about judging it on a week by week basis rather than a day by day, and I try and do the same (I think child nutritionists would do the same). I also know of one little girl who eats like a *horse* and is skinny as anything, and another wee girl who is a really, really picky eater, but she is average weight, height, energy, intelligence, everything!

Best not to judge against any other kids and just do your best - and don't worry about 'giving in'. If Katie is fussing for dinner before it is ready, I give her her 'pudding' (yoghurt or apple or pear or whatever) first, so she has something to nibble on. TBH, if she asked for some crisps before dinner because it wasn't ready, I would probably just give her them, but just not too many - crisps are potatoes after all (I know, not a great reason to give them to them!).

Our Katie has days where she eats great and days where she doesn't - to give you some idea (even though I have just said NOT to compare to anyone else!), this might be a 'typical' day (bear in mind she is 25 months old and weighs about 30 lbs - she is 75th percentile for height and weight):

Breakfast - watered down juice, maybe half a slice of toast, maybe nothing
Snack - fruit (maybe 3/4 or a whole pear), or 1/4 cereal bar, or a biscuit
Lunch - maybe 1/4 ham sandwich, maybe some crisps, maybe some yoghurt
Snack - some raisins
Dinner - a 'baby' bowl of pasta  with sausage and veg puree or whatever - i.e. one of those toddler plastic bowls - sometimes eats all, sometimes eats half or even a quarter (or less), maybe some yoghurt and fruit
Before bed - lots of milk

So, overall, I don't think this is an awful lot to eat at all and I am constantly amazed that she has maintained her height / weight / energy / fun. But, this seems to be what works for her. We as mums have to trust our LO's internal metabolisms - it is very, very hard to do (especially if you come from the same camp as me where you were taught to eat everything on your plate - hence why I am a good 20lbs overweight!).

Good luck and try and chill a little - your wee one is doing brilliantly!
xx

PS -  I tell people at my work about times when Katie has tried something new to eat - LOL!

[Johanne]

It sounds like he did really well at breakfast!

Keep your chin up!

Jo xxx

[rinajack]

I find lunch a disaster too, especially if we have been out for the morning.  I changed lunch to yoghurt.  Easy to eat and yummy, seems to be much more successful. I try to be sure that breakfast has some carbs in it - weetbix, or porridge or something. If you think about what foods you are offering each day, remember it really isn't important to eat "lunch" foods at lunch, and "snack" foods at snack- maybe snack food before nap, and lunch food after?

Interesting idea here (won't be true for all but something for you to consider).  Our dinners are a disaster if DD is too hungry.  So she has a snack (usually fruit) when she wakes from her nap, and another small snack about an hour before dinner (by small I mean some sultanas, or some frozen peas, so certainly not filling).  But it seems to be enough to get her to dinner without too many meltdowns. And isn't the fastest thing to eat either so kills some time.  Or if I am still cooking and she is yelling at me for food, a piece of raw carrot - she really just chews on it, it doesn't get her to eat much, but occupies her!

Another thing that helps us is cooking with teh slow cooker - so that come dinner time, it is already ready and the only delay is the serving.

The final option I thought I would suggest is pre cooking.  I sometimes make fritattas (with egg, cheese and some veg) for example and have them in the fridge ready.  Then the prep time for lunch is simply reheat time in the microwave, instead of full preparation time.  Or, have something simpler, like a peanutbutter sandwhich...which you can prepare in less time also.

HTH.

[mum101]

Hi Jacob's mum - glad to hear he is eating some new stuff! 
It's hard for us not to judge how good a mother we are when things don't go to plan... but rest assured we all have something that doesn't go to plan! For me it's sometimes sleeps but a lot is wreaking havoc in shopping centres!!!

Rinajacks idea of yogurt lunch is great, perhaps you could break the lunch into 2, pre bed snack and post bed snack.

I second her idea of having pre-made meals, something that just needs reheating.  Making larger portions of a meal and re-serving the next day could also be a good way of getting him used to a new meal (and reduce your cooking on some days).  I often have frozen portions available, defrost over the morning and give at lunch.

Another idea is that when you start cooking, perhaps you could give him a small bowl of sultanas to snack on, and hopefully he's not in the kitchen bugging you (well, hopefully!!)

I also recommend not spending too much time creating beautiful meals for toddlers, as it's hard not to take it personally when they reject it, or worse vomit it up (Rory did that once with my home-made brocolli and leek soup, all over the freshly washed towels sitting on the next chair!).

If you are concerned about him eating junk food before dinner such as chips etc. the best thing to do is not buy them in the first place. Everyone in the house gets used to what is available.  This works a treat in our house as the biggest 'treat' is yogurt!  We still have treats but they are pre-planned or something we have while out and about.  This works a treat for me maintaining my weight loss.

I think one of the best tricks to increasing a child's interest and range of foods is to make new things a fun new adventure.