Carmela's mom, I think we must have very similar kids. Every time I read your post, I have experienced the same with my dd. I have definitely learned through my experiences with these 2 kids of mine that EVERY KID is different - so sometimes what works for one child really doesn't work for another.
That said, my dd often lies in bed talking - as I have posted about many times. For many months I went with the philosophy of getting her to go down on her own, and would not go in to her unless she was upset. This would result in 1-2 missed naps a week. She is ALWAYS happy (until much time has passed, sometimes up to 2 hours!), but she will just chat and sing away with no nap.
Now, we really usually get her down with a still hand on her back for a few minutes (no patting - too stimulating). Often we can calm her this way and leave when she's still awake. However, she often needs the hand on back until asleep. I think your daughter and mine are too spirited and happy living their lives to the fullest sometimes, and just need a little sane calming - so you may think about a little more calming measure for your dd. Although I do believe in the non-intervention method, I think sometimes my dd just needs that calming down. Unfortunately. And I really hope it doesn't cause me problems later!