HELP! What am I doing wrong?!

[RehbergBeans]

Hi Everyone!

I am so glad this forum is here! I am looking for some advice on the PU/PD method for naps. I am at my wits end! Z has always been pretty easy, shes borderline "angel" and "textbook". She hit 4 months and doesn't usually nap for more than 30-40 minutes at a time. She is (and always has been) a great night sleeper. Currently at 5.5 months she wakes once at 5:30 am to nurse and then goes back down until 7 or 7:30 am. (and honestly, I could probably cut that out... but, one thing at a time!)

I started the PU/PD method last Monday. It took 40 minutes and 61 pick ups to get her down. I was giving her her pacifier. I heard it can reduce the chance of SIDS and she can kind of put it back in her mouth by herself, so I didn't think it would hurt. Day 2 was great. Still short naps, but I wasn't PU/PD nearly as much (under 10 each time).

Day 3 - Day 6 have been AWFUL. Still 30 minute naps, and it's taking as long with as many PU/PD as it did on day one. I DID stop giving her the paci today which is probably why it's been so bad. She wasn't putting it back in like I thought she would.

SO.... I have some questions because I am REALLY getting frustrated and discouraged. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

1) Isn't the amount of time & PU/PD supposed to decrease over time?

2) How long does this typically take to at least see results?

3) Do you PU/PD when they cry their "whiny" cry? It's not a mantra cry and it's definitely a full blown wailing.

4) Do you leave the room at each time, once they're settled, or stay by the crib?

5) I spend so much time getting her down, then she sleeps for 30 minutes, and it's time to eat again. I would normally do PU/PD again but the book says not to skip or push a feed time. So, do I feed her, and then try to get her down right away? Or, do I keep her up until next nap time? If I'm supposed to put her back down right away, doesn't that throw off the schedule?

Thank you all so much for your time! Any words of encouragement are also welcomed! lol

[lily_layne]

I am thinking that if she's always done short naps and has good nights that just be the way she is. Tracy says that some babies just do short naps until somewhere between 6-9 months. Sorry, that's probably not what you wanted to hear.

Is your goal with PU/PD to teach her independent sleep? Have you tried sh/pat? Taking the paci away if she's always had it will definitely make it more difficult. If you've gone 6 days and not seeing any improvement, I would maybe take a break for a few days. If you post a typical day for me in the format below, we can see if any routine changes might help.
Ex:
WU: 7
E:715
S: 9-940
E: 10
etc.

Why do you want to get rid of the paci? It is perfectly fine but it doesn't sound like it's a prop for her if that's what you are worried about. For what it's worth, both of my LOs ditched the paci more or less on their own around 6 months.

[RehbergBeans]

Thank you for your response!! I'm just now putting her on the EASY routine, so I don't have our days all broken down yet, but she goes down for bed around 7:30pm.  Up once around 5am to eat and then back to sleep until 7/7:30am. I nurse her and give her some solids and then watch for sleep cues during her A. She eats about every 3 hrs and I put her down when I see she's sleepy. So it's throw our whole day off lol

She started having issues w naps at 4 months. Was an AMAZING night sleeper and napped before then!

Today she had three 30  min naps and I just put her down for another one bc she wasn't going to make it to bed time! This time was better. It took 30 min and 19 PU. Thank goodness!!

I noticed during the PU/PD when the paci fell out she'd become more fussy and couldn't put it back in herself. So I figured maybe not being able to put it back in would be a problem when she wakes at 30 minutes. Should I let her have it? I'm just afraid she won't be able to go back down by herself after she wakes.

Thank you! I appreciate your help!! 😊

[lily_layne]

Should I let her have it? I'm just afraid she won't be able to go back down by herself after she wakes.

Totally up to you. I found the paci was excellent for extending a short nap. I just went in and replugged a few times (along with some patting). She is a few months away from being able to put it in herself.

On average, how long is she awake before you put her for a nap? What does your wind down look like?

[RehbergBeans]

Ok. Maybe I'll let her keep it then ☺️ She'll be a happy girl! It was easier to get her down with it.

She's up for about 1.5 hrs before a nap. I turn off noisy toys 10 min before we start our wind down. I check her diaper, put her in a sleep sack and we rock and read a book. Turn off the light, rock for another maybe 3-5 min and then I put her down. She's still pretty awake, but will be yawning and rubbing her face.

[lily_layne]

She'll be a happy girl! It was easier to get her down with it.

I would keep it then.

Sleep often goes off the rails around 4 months - there's a big regression then. I think what you have now it what's called a UT/OT loop. She's not quite tired enough to take a good nap and then all the short naps make her OT which can lead to more short naps. The great news is that she has good nights she's able to catch up on sleep then. Being UT would also explain why PU/PD is not working well. I would abandon sleep training until we can get her on better routine and then try it again.

I think the place to start is to push her A times. The reason she seems tired so soon is that she's not getting a good nap in so she can't last very long before she wants another nap. If you can get those A times up, you should start getting better naps. The average A time for her age is 2-2.5 hours (from wake up to asleep). At around 5.5 months, I put DS on a set nap schedule as I didn't want to keep chasing A times and it worked really well. I used one I got from another poster on here. It was:
WU: 7
S: 9:30-11
S: 1:30-3
Sometimes a short CN around 430/5 (which made BT a bit later)
BT: 7

Do you know how much sleep she averages in 24 hours? Does she seem tired and cranky or do you think she needs more sleep? Knowing her average can help us get her on a suitable routine.

[RehbergBeans]

She gets 11 or 12 hrs at night (7:30-7) and usually 2 hrs of naps (four 30 min naps bc she can't make it to bed time after nap 3). Last night I got her to bed at 8 and she was up at 6:15! I was hoping she'd go back down but she didn't so I got her up for breakfast.

She's not usually cranky. I think she's just an easy going baby. Even my mom was surprised about how "good" and easy she is.

I'll definitely try the schedule! Thank you!

Something might be clicking.... I kept her up for an hr and 45 min, put her down at 8 and she slept for an hour and 15 min!! Not the 2-2.5 we are hoping for but she's making progress! I'll take it!

What do I do on days that she wakes up before 7? Like this morning?

[lily_layne]

That's great that you got a good nap. Hold that A time at 1h45 for a few days.

On days when wu is early you kind of have to wing it, I always kept my LOs in bed as long as possible then fed and down in bed in a dark room for a quiet play or in the swing. Definitely no lights on or smiley good morning from me until 6/630. You may need an extra nap to get through the day although I found with a quiet start they could do a longer a time than usual before the first nap.

It sounds like your LO only needs 13-14 hours of sleep so that routine may not work exactly as it is - the naps may be a bit shorter or wu a touch earlier or later bt,

[RehbergBeans]

Ok I'm going to give it a shot!! Thank you SO much!! I'll keep you posted!