Expert help for 3 month old please- schedule included.

[marlowsmom]

Well going by her cues she is going to nap after 1.5 hours sometime 2 hours.   Two hours seems to be a little to long for her.     
I think part of the problem may be that I always held her until her eyes closed then once her eyes closed I held her for one to two minutes longer then placed her in the crib.    Alexa says I says I need to place her in the crib drowsy but eyes open and shpat her to sleep there.   I always thought that I was supposed to shpat on shoulder then place in the crib when she fell into a light sleep.   
Is the 3-4 month time period the time that I'm supposed to help her transition her from shoulder shpat to crib shpat?   
The good news is that she does fall asleep when left alone after some shpat.   I don't have to stay in there until she is in a deep sleep.     She isn't really fond of the shpat once she starts to settle.     
I've tried leaving her alone once she wakes and she will eventually cry after 15 min.    I'm thinking that once I get her used to falling asleep in her crib starting from eyes open that it maybe easier for her to transition from one nap to the next.  I think another part of it is that she is 12 weeks old and she may need to get another few weeks under her belt before she catches on.
I've been trying to get her into bed at 8pm every night and last night she woke a little after 9pm but I shpat for 10 min in the crib and she fell back asleep which is an improvement.

[mdavza]

Hi there, I also, at the beginning, shhpat on the shoulder, and only put him in the cot when he was calm.  If he started crying again, I picked him up and calmed him etc.  Eventually I could leave him in the cot while awake and shhpat (or shhhh, in our case!) in there until he fell asleep.  So it becomes less, the intervention, as they get used to it.  But I still need to hold my lo down for w2s, for a long time.  Hope he gets it in future!  I think you're doing really great!  M

[marlowsmom]

Wow, thanks M and Lilac for all the support.   Sounds like our babies are very similar.    We had a set back 2 days ago; she suddenly had crib resistance.    She would cry when I walked into her room and go into a hysterical cry when I put her in her crib.   After some examination, I deduced that it was one of the following: teething, upset stomach, or the blanket I put over the window to block out more light.   She has been drooling this week, but the tylenol and such didnt seem to make a difference and I didnt feel or see teeth or redness.    If it was upset stomach, then it passed.   I did take the blanket off the window.   I did read somewhere else that by putting up a blanket it changes the colors and the light in her room, thus it looks different to her.    Anyway we seem to be back on track.  I started my wind down with some holding on my shoulder and gentle singing.    Then in the crib with some patting and singing.    If she goes into a hard cry then I pick her up, calm her, and back into the crib.   I keep her in there with the patting even thru some light crying.    I don't want to jinx myself but it seems to work so far.   
BTW What happened to this website for the last week?

[lilac83]

Glad to hear things seem to be working out. I'm not sure what happened to the website. It was down for awhile a few months ago as well. Glad it's back!

[marlowsmom]

My LO is 16 wks now and she is still a 45 min napper.    I've been working on extending her naps but I haven't been vigilant about it.   My question is when you were extending your LO naps did you do it for every nap except for the end of the day cat nap?    She has had improvements with her self sooth although she isn't 100% ready to do it on her own.   I gather from other moms posts that it won't happen until around 6 to 8 months.    She has gone from a nap extension taking 50 min to 20 to 30 min now.    Which leads me to my other question:   When extending you LO naps did you do it all in the crib?   Sometimes I can extend with her in the crib but other times I have to pick her up and hold her until she falls back asleep.  I wonder if that will be a hinderance to her learning to extend her naps on her own?   She is textbook/spirited.

[lilac83]

I would try using W2S since she seems to be in a habit of waking after just 45min. Here's a link with some info: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64168.0

When using this technique, I would use it for every nap but the catnap for a few days and then see if she can transition on her own. The other issue that may be going on is that she's either OT or UT, but since it sounds like she's short napping for every nap, I would go with the W2S option first before tweaking the routine.

If she still wakes after trying W2S you can use either PU/PD or sh/pat to try to extend her nap. You can only use either of those options though if she wakes crying. If she's happy, there's not much use trying to extend and then you're better off getting her up and shortening her A time until the next nap.

HTH!

[marlowsmom]

Oh I've been using W2S; I have to hold her down.   It usually takes about 30 min.    Sometimes I have to pick her up and hold her until she settles but that is only if she cries in the crib.    I'm watching for those cues and she yawns around 1hr 15 min or so.    If she does a bunch of 45 min naps all day then she gets more tired as the day goes on.    If I extend her naps then she gets about 2 hours of sleep each nap and she has a better bedtime.    I've
 been putting her down at 7ish though instead of 8.   The one other time that she had two nap extensions in one day and I put her down at 7pm she slept well and didn't wake every 45 min.    It's only happened once so far.  I will try again tonight.

[lilac83]

If you're laying her down immediately after seeing her first yawn, she may actually be taking UT naps. Have you ever tried waiting for a second yawn or rubbing face/eyes?

[marlowsmom]

Yes but I thought that when she got to that point she was OT.   That ususally happens around 2 hours of A time.    I was under the impression that 2 hours was a lot of time for a 16 wk old.   She is a spirited baby though.

[mdavza]

Another thing I wanted to add: my lo is only now really learning how to self soothe, so it takes time, and you have to help him until he learns how, whther it's with his thumb, dummy, head, noises etc.  I forgot what tracy says about spirited babies, maybe you should read that again?  Good luck!

[marlowsmom]

Well I had success again this morning with extending the nap.   It only took me 20 min to do it.   She goes down with her eyes open and I wait for them to close.   Once they close and her body movements cease.   I leave and let her fall asleep on her own.    She goes to sleep on her side and she like to suck on her fingers and/or roll her head into the mattress.    Tracy said in the book if they roll their head on the mattress then let them b/c they are self soothing.    I waiting for the magical day when I can kiss her and place her in the crib and let her put herself to sleep w/o me standing there.   

[mdavza]

I hear you!  Because my lo naps on a bed, I like to stay with him until he falls asleep - my choice - I just love that special time, and it has had no negative effect on his night sleeps. 

[lilac83]

Actually now that your LO is nearing 4 months, she'll be transitioning to the 4hr EASY. With this routine they have 2hr A time and 2hr naps. So she may very well be ready for the 2hr A time now. Believe me, all your hard work will pay off and she'll be an excellent independent sleeper! I started training my DD when she was about 4 months old and by about 8 months all I had to do was wind down and pop her in her crib, she did the rest.

[marlowsmom]

* fingers crossed*   I hope so!!!     I want her to get the naps down first.     She didn't do well with the nap extension for the afternoon b/c after her morning nap we got in the car 30 min later and she fell asleep.   Car sleep isn't necessarily quality sleep.    
Well she pulled a new one on my tonight.   She recently discovered her voice and likes to lay in bed and go AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.     I can't tell if its a new way for her to self soothe or if she is OT and making that noise to stay awake.     I tried all my usual tricks to get her to settle but to no avail.   She wanted nothing to do with it.    I laid her down and let her AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA for a bit until she called me.   I went to her and she was laying in her back with her hands behind her head.  I gave her the pacifier and she sucked on it for about one minute, spit it out, and layed perfectly still with her eyes open.   I went downstairs to watch her on the video monitor.   It appeared to me that she was asleep with her eyes open.    Eventually, she closed her eyes.  
Is it possible that she is ready for PU/PD?

[lilac83]

Yes, she is old enough now that you can use PU/PD with her.

All these new milestones that she's going to be reaching now will make it a bit harder for her to fall asleep. The best thing you can do is give her plenty of practice. So if she likes laying in her crib talking to her mobile (or whatever) work some of that into her A time. DD would lay in her crib for about 20min at 4MO and make all sorts of noises!