Expert help for 3 month old please- schedule included.

[marlowsmom]

We started EASY at 3wks.    Lately her schedule has been
awake 8am and E
A for about an 1,20 includes getting to sleep
S  930 am -45 min nap
A & E for about an 1,20 includes eating and getting to sleep
S 1130 (45 min nap)
A 12 15pm  1,20 includes getting to sleep
S 130
E 215
A for about an 1,20 includes getting to sleep
S 330 45 min nap
A 415 1,20 includes getting to sleep and eating
E at 430 ish
S 545 45 min nap
A 630 some play time and then bath, lotion, little massage
E 8pm and get wind down for bedtime, in room with music, swaddled and eating
S 830 bedtime  sometimes wakes at 9pm and I have to go hold her until she falls asleep again, maybe 20 min
E 11pm
E  3am
E  6 am
S til 730 or 8am


I can put her down earlier for bedtime earlier but she won't stay asleep.    She wakes after 30 or 45 min.  I can go back in and hold her until she falls asleep but she will wake again.    Only after 9pm will she stay asleep.    Tracy said in her book that poor naps equal poor bedrest, or something like that.     Anyway,  these 45 min naps are killing me.    She is hitting her 12 week mark and I'm pulling my hair out.    She's been very difficult to get to sleep.    She fights the swaddle lately.    What am I doing wrong and what do I need to tweek?
She is 12 weeks old and eats 3 oz at feeds.

[lilac83]

Hi ~

Short naps at her age are VERY common. When she wakes up, does she call for you right away or will she lay in bed for awhile yet? If she's content to be in there, have you ever left her to see if she would fall back to sleep? If she wakes up fussing, have you tried resettling her using sh/pat?

There's also the possibility that the 45 minute naps are UT naps and she's ready for more A time. What sort of cues does she give you when she's ready for a nap?

[marlowsmom]

She will lay there and look around or just stare into the camera that is propped on the corner of her crib.   It's as if she knows what the camera is.    I do watch her to see ( and hope) that she will fall back asleep but she hasn't yet.   Now I will say that she just moved into her room about 2 weeks ago but up until then she was in a bassinette in my bedroom.     When she woke in the bassinette I would go get her out.     She is probably used to me coming to get her out as soon as she wakes but lately she makes a good effort to go back to sleep.    When she wakes I try to apply pressure to her arms and legs but she is more of a squirmer than a jolter.    She squirms, arches her back and pushes her arms away from her body.     She isn't easy to hold still.    I've tried to distrupt her sleep by moving her while she is in deep sleep but that doesn't work either and it has usually made her wake up within 5 minutes of me touching her.    I tried moving her hand slightly, rubbing her cheek, gently stroking her head all of which wake her.     Her cues are yawning, sleepy eyes and as of today rubbing her eyes.     She does that slow blink thing and her eyes sort of roll when she is tired and then they get glassy.   I don't think she is UT.   I'm glad to hear that short naps are common for her age.   Now I really need to correct it because I go back to work on June 22.   I will be working from home but I've got to get her on track by then.    Lilac83- your daughter is a cutie.   Love the pic.   Any advice is appreciated!!!

[marlowsmom]

Well I just had my first W2S success.   I had to hold her thru the squirms/jolts for 50 minutes.    She stayed in a light sleep state the entire time.     Does that 50 min of light sleep count?

[marlowsmom]

She slept an additional 30 min.

[marlowsmom]

We the 2nd round didn't go as well as the first.    She stayed in a light sleep for almost an hour.    Time for her bottle anyway and then I will give it another go for at least one 45 min nap.     Still hoping someone can look at my schedule above and tell me what they see.

[lilac83]

Since she's giving you pretty clear tired cues it's probably more of a developmental thing than a routine issue. Since she's getting 4 X 45 minute naps, she's getting the sleep she needs during the day, which is good. It is believed that night sleep is learned from 0-3 months of age and day sleep from 3-6 months of age. In about a month she'll be ready to transition to the 4 hour EASY and you may see an improvement in naps at that point. Until then you can either keep squeezing in those 4 naps or try increasing her A time by just 10 minutes and see if she sleeps longer.

I think that light sleep does indeed count as sleep. As long as her eyes are closed she's getting rest. If she's waking every 5-10 minutes and looking around before falling back to sleep, then I don't think that counts. The best thing you can do right now is keep trying w2s and extending those naps. Soon she'll grow out of this phase.

[marlowsmom]

OK thanks.   I was concerned that since she was getting 45 min naps in short spurts and not lengthy naps that she wasn't getting quality sleep.   She wakes happy and isn't crying so thats good.   You don't think she has too much A time?   I have enlisted help next week with my mom, MIL, and SIL to take my 3 yr old so I can concentrate on extending naps.   Wish me luck!

[lilac83]

That's great that you're going to be getting some help! I don't think she's getting too much A time, if anything she may even need more. By 4 months most LO's are on the 4 hour EASY routine, so that means they're getting 2 hours of A time followed by a 1.5-2 hour nap. Since that's only a month away, she may be needing more like 1.5 hours of A time before her naps. If you do decide to try increasing a bit though and she still only sleeps for 45 minutes for her first nap, I would go back to what you're doing now to fit in all the naps she needs and try again the next day.

[marlowsmom]

I followed her sleepy cues and she went 1.5 hours before she yawned.    She was much easier to get to sleep whereas before I was putting her down too early.    You were right about the A time; she was UT.    She still had 3 45 min naps so far today but today was an odd day since I wasn't with her the entire time.    I didnt get a chance to extend the first nap and her second nap was with my MIL and I slept during her third nap and woke to see her staring at me on the video monitor.   It had been 45 min exactly.   Maybe tomorrow will be better.   

[mdavza]

Hi there, don't give up!  My lo is now 3 months and after 3 weeks of 'nap training' I'm finally getting consistent results with w2s.  Please see my post to mirabelsmum for more detail. 
Is your baby spirited, touchy, textbook? Is she bf or bottlefed?  Mine is definitely not hungry every 3 hrs, He's now eating every 3,5 - 4 hrs and is eating much better, about 5-6 oz(150-180 ml) every feed.  Also, I'd experiment with putting your lo down earlier, by 7 or 7:30. Mine eats before the bath, goes to sleep immediately afterwards, and has about 1hr to 1,5 hrs awake time between catnap and bedtime.  I'm no expert, but maybe you could try these?  Mine has longer A times as the day goes by, his morning A time is the shortest.  Good luck, it's really hard!!! M   

[marlowsmom]

Thanks for the response.   I guess putting the word expert in by title was the wrong way to word it.   I say any mother is a "expert" in her own way.    I've been doing a lot of experimenting with AP and trying to stir her but only one success so far and that was a few days ago.    She starts to stir at 35 min and literally pops her eyes open at 45 min on the nose.   GRRRRRRRR.     We just went thru our 12 wk milestone so getting her to sleep has changed for the better.     I keep telling myself that if all these other mothers were successful with getting their child to extend their naps then mine should be able to as well.    I did have one small victory; she slept from 230am to 715 am this morning.     Her sleep is ever evolving.   I forgot to mention that I always thought she was spirited but now I believe that she is possible spirited/textbook.    She is eating 3 oz every 3 hours.   I try to put her to sleep at 8pm but she wakes up 45 min later.   She won't fall into a deep sleep until after 9pm.

[mdavza]

You're doing great!  I remember, that first time I extended his nap - i felt like such a success!  But now, after a week of being able to extend his naps, my lo is busy transitioning, it seems.  In fact, he takes a different amount of fluit every feed, and after three days of feeding contentedly at 4 hrs, he suddenly wants to eat at 3 hours again?!  SO, I'll have to see. 
I extend my lo's naps by holding his legs and arms down (even though he is swaddled) as soon as he starts to stir until he's transitioned and is seemingly in a deep sleep again .  I also use the dummyu when he starts to cry, and sometimes I use my version of shh-pat (just a shhhh).  That means that I'm with him from 30mins after he's started napping, for 30 more minutes, sometimes even 45 mins.  It's a lot of time, but I keep telling myself that he'll be able to do it on his own some time in the future...I Hope!!!  I've been experimenting with coming in later and less intervention, but it's not always working.  I also read up loads of messages on the 45 min naps and how people coped with it, it gave me a bigger perspective.  In the end you have to watch your baby and try not to get them into bad habits, but we all do it sometimes!!
See you later!

[marlowsmom]

The most frustrating part is when I think she is almost back to sleep.  I think that this time maybe I have a chance at getting her back to sleep.   Then she opens her eyes wide at exactly 45 min.    She looks around wide-eyed and then looks at me and gurgles and maybe smiles.   Its over then.    She wants nothing to do with going back to sleep.   

[lilac83]

What A times are you currently using for her? It sounds like she's still taking UT naps. Having you in the room when she wakes maybe is too stimulating for her as well since she just wants to play with you once she realizes you're in the room with her.

Since she seems to like her night to start at 9pm, is it possible to do a 9-9 schedule with her? This is obviously much later than a lot of LO's like, but this could be the way her body clock is.