13 mo. long NWs MISERABLE

[clazzat]

(((hugs))) honey - we have the same problem if E is awake in the night, as there is absolutely no way of getting her back to sleep.  TBH, we have got to the point where we just have to ride it out and she gets to the point where she can't stay awake any longer (although one night that took 5 hours  ) - but at the moment (touch wood) it's not every night so we can cope.

From what you are saying WI/WO sounds like the best option, but I have never managed to get it to work with E.  Hope you find a solution soon.

[~*Nicole*~]

Alright

-Currently NWs go like this:

1-Fussing noises, we wait and keep listening. (she sometimes falls back asleep...the end )
2-Fussing continues, some chatting starts, we wait (again, she sometimes falls back asleep alone...)
3-Fussing/chatting goes on for abut 30 mins. crying starts and you can hear her shaking the side of the crib/rail so you know she is standing... (she is not going to fall back asleep)
4-Crying escalates and becomes more consistent
5-DH or I go in, she sees us and stands up and says mommy/daddy and we pick her up.
6-She pushes against us, we readjust to keep holding her, she hits at us, twists, screams, cries, yells various words to indicate she wants to get down.  etc. etc.
7-Most recently, I hold her tight to me and readjust as needed as she fights and calmly sing something or say "mommy is here, it's night night time, not play time" and then just sing/hum until she calms down. This does not always work...as last night she carried on for a good hour...so finally made her a cup of warm milk which she sucked down and then was calm.
8-Hold her until she is asleep and try to lay her down. She resists/wakes/fights/screams when you try to lay her down or get near the crib. Even if you try to put her in a rocking position as opposed to over your shoulder. I've tried laying her down still awake and she grabs onto me and climbs up like a glued on monkey screaming and I feel like I am prying her off and she gets hysterical so I stopped trying to lay her down at this point. It's totally ridiculous at this point.

BUT she goes to sleep like a dream at bedtime. Like tonight for example. I put her in her pajamas, read her book, laid her down, tucked her in and LEFT. She stays lying down and makes her mantra and goes to sleep NO PROBLEM! It's just the middle of the night she is a lunatic! And when she does go back to sleep herself, I believe she finds her lovey or blanket or whatever, makes her noise and settles to sleep. I guess I don't understand why sometimes she can't do that and sometimes she can.

The last time we had any real NW issues were during paci weaning, but it was short lived. Prior to that was teething molars, again short lived, and then before that standing...which she would still let us lay her back down and leave. Not anymore


Liz-I did read that link to decide and was thinking WI/WO would maybe work but wasn't sure how to go about it. I'd like to hear how you do it.

Clare-Thanks for the hugs. I can't imagine 5 hrs!. When you say you ride it out...do you intervene at all or just leave her to figure it out?

[clazzat]

I can't just leave her to it, so I tend to go to her room and get into bed with her - she often doesn't go to sleep, but she does calm down a bit and normally doesn't cry once I am there.  We take the same approach as you to start with though - we leave her until it is absolutely clear that she won't go back to sleep, as she will often whimper for 15-20 mins and still go back to sleep.

Usually I would expect her to be awake for about 2 hours (sometimes a bit more) with me in the room.  Last night, when she woke because of OT, she settled back to sleep with me immediately and (apart from a couple of short wakes) slept until we woke her at 6.15.  The times when I have tried WI/WO, she has got herself so worked up that she is crying and choking and can't breathe - at which point I pick her up and cuddle her anyway, so I am not going to try it again: it's one thing to get through the crying for some benefit, but making her cry for hours for no purpose seems cruel.  Once she has got to that state, though, she tends to conk out pretty quickly afterwards! 

[~*Nicole*~]

I took the day off of work to try to get some sleep. My mom has Ava and I have to wait for our new furniture to be delivered but after that I am trying to take a LONG nap.

Clare-Is she in a bgb? or still a crib? Just wondering how you get in bed with her hehehe.

[clazzat]

We have a double bed pushed against the wall in her room - she is still in a crib, otherwise she would just fall out in seconds!

[*Liz*]

It does sound as though you will have to keep her in the crib whatever you do - as otherwise she is asking to get down and play.

What I do with J is ignore all the fussing and mantra crying in the hope he will just go back off again. I often pop the video monitor on so I can see if there is any issue at this point (usually a lost bear and cloth) - if that is the case I just go in, find the missing loveys, hand them to him and walk out. Issue usually solved  .

If he starts proper crying I go in, and I usually pick him up at first just to check for any issues (wet nappies, clearly in pain, clearly hungry etc). If there are issues we sort them out. If nothing and it is just OT I put him back, tell him it is night time, give him bear and cloth and walk out. Usually he will cry pretty hard for a minute or so and then start to go very on and off, on and off. If he is like that I leave him. If it is mantra I leave him. If he is standing but not screaming I leave him (I mean he can get down anyway). I only go back when he is really kicking off again and repeat. If he is standing I kneel by the cot and ask him to get down. He will usually sit of I do that. I make sure he has his lovey (often flings them out the cot in anger), tell him it is sleep time and leave. He ALWAYS screams really hard when I leave, but he always calms very quickly once I am out of the room, so I walk out regardless and hang back for a few.

I think one of the keys with WI/WO is to make sure you don't go back too quickly or interrupt mantra crying as this seems to be what prolongs the process. I also don't bother lying him down anymore as it really winds him up.

Just as a complete opposite to Clare I have always found this approach very successful, and I usually only have to go back 3 or 4 times. I think part of it is that J knows what I am doing and knows I will just keep him in the cot, so he tends to give up quick.

Putting J in our bed doesn't work at all anymore - he just does not settle. On the odd night when he has been dreadful I have lay him with me until he is quiet and calm, and then popped him back in when he is still awake. TBH I think they are the times we are waiting for the pain meds to kick in.

[clazzat]

It was really effective with M when I tried it - one night I had to go back 3 times, the next night twice and not again after that.

I guess a lot of it depends on what the problem is - if E has just lost bunny she will sometimes go back to sleep pretty quickly, but if there is "nothing" wrong then we are completely stuffed!  I think more often than not it is pain related, but if we try to give her calpol in the middle of the night she goes completely ballistic - it ends up all over her and she is even more worked up as a result.  When you are totally in the dark as to what is causing it then you just have to try all the different methods and see which one works.

Is she teething at the moment?  I seem to remember you saying that she was on to her canines - they were the only teeth that gave M any trouble at all, and it wasn't just straight forward crying in pain.  It's possible that all this disruption is because of them - they are evil!

[~*Nicole*~]

I think we're going to try it...