Author Topic: New and naps question  (Read 883 times)

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Offline jjdavo

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New and naps question
« on: January 04, 2012, 21:46:15 pm »
Hi am new to the forum and to EASY having decided to start 3 days ago.

I'm liking EASY as it helps me with structure so far but I struggle when it comes to putting my 7wk old DD down for naps.  I can read her tiredness cues v easily and take her to her room now instead of letting her fall asleep on us.

I'm sure ther's been lots of post on this but...
She will fall quickly and easily to sleep on us but cries and fusses if we put her down to bed.  Have introduced a dummy but if it comes out do i put it back in if she cries?
She seems to only nap for about 45 mins before waking up crying and I get her up as she is too distressed and awake by this point.  The thing is it is not near to E time and she hasnt seemed that hungry at first but..
Do I try to feed her straight after these short naps or wait til her actual feed time?

Offline mummyumpkin

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Re: New and naps question
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2012, 22:20:46 pm »
I can't really advise on the putting her down for a nap as I actually did as not recommendedon here before I began EASY. But reading other posts I think you put her paci in if she cries and can't settle herself, not to put it in though if she isn't requiring it then becomes a prop.

From what I've read a 35min nap means over tired (OT) and a 45 minute nap usually means under tired or overstimulated (OT or OS). How long is her A time?

You may find this helpful: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=84884.0

Do you do a wind down before you but her to bed?

If you look at some of the example routines I posted on your other Post you may see that if LO wakes before they are due a feed you can have A time before the feed but remember to count her A time from when she wakes up so that she isn't OT for her next nap. If however this will make her next nap time and feed clash, feed her 20-30 mins before shes due to go for her nap.

Hope you find this useful

Mummyumpkin



Offline jjdavo

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Re: New and naps question
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2012, 22:44:11 pm »
Wow it seems like complicated stuff! Takes a lot of getting my head round and it's all so hard to put into action at the time too!
Will have a good look at the links tomorrow. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to this too

Offline mummyumpkin

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Re: New and naps question
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2012, 09:49:52 am »
Its not its dead easy once you read it through! Especially if you jot it down for quick reference!!
Not a proplem HTH! I was fortunate to have a good night with the children and DH was out!!!
I wanted to quickly respond in someway to someone who had had no replys yet because I'd just experienced needing some help and no one seemed to be replying to my thread and I was going mental with not having a clue!! Its being sorted now though so wanted to help someone that might be feeling the same!
Just give a shout if you need any help understanding it or with anything else and I'll help if I can!
The answers are mostly on here its just knowing and remembering where to go to get them!!
Hope you have a successful day/night! :D

Mummyumpkin
x x x x x x x

P.S. When you get time or if and you want to decorate your profile you can add a Ticker (age tally thing) at bottom of posts like mine!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=51653.msg356523#msg356523

Its not important but its nice to see how old the LO's are and it helps me to see how many mths and wks E is as I still count wks with her!


Offline creations

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Re: New and naps question
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2012, 21:25:47 pm »
Hi jjdavo and welcome to BW :)

I see you've already had some advice from mummyumpkin, and a very useful link to A times - you'll be referring back to that over the coming months to keep the naps on track with the right A time.

I'd like to try to answer some of your questions.
She will fall quickly and easily to sleep on us but cries and fusses if we put her down to bed
This is quite natural in the early days of EASY as you begin to introduce your LO to a new way of sleeping.  Your LO is still very young and so far has learned that sleeping on mummy or daddy is very comfortable.  Those snuggles and cuddles you've had so far will have built a bond between you, which is great, but also accustomed her to learn that is how (and where) to sleep.  Now you and she are learning together that there is another way to sleep.

Do you have Secrets of the Baby Whisperer?  Chapter 6 would be handy to re-read at this point now that you've spent a couple of days getting into the swing of the EASY routine.

In short the sleep training aspect is introduced by putting LO down in her cot (lovely and calm after cuddles and wind down) when she is at the beginning of stage 3, her eyes are drooping and nodding.  This way she will gradually become more accustomed with going to sleep in her cot (and more likely to stay asleep in her cot or go back to sleep by re-settling), it means there is no surprise when she wakes up and wonders how she got there.  Tracy suggested you tell her you are putting her down for a sleep (I still do this with DS who is almost 1yr old).  If she fusses initially hold back a little to see if she will settle herself, if not then begin shush/pat in the cot.  If she cries you pick her up and sooth her.  When she is completely calm (this might take a long time, it did with us in the early days) and again entering stage 3 you say you are putting her down for a lovely sleep and again put her down and sooth in the cot if she fusses.

This is not a quick fix solution to sleep, it is the gift of independent sleep and well worth the time and energy that you'll be putting into it.
Many parents that use the BW methods begin shush/pat when LO is still in their arms, and even wait until LO is asleep before being put down, they also shush/pat all the way into deep sleep in the cot, if there are times you need to do this don't worry about it.  Sleep training is a gradual process and along the way there will be tricky times and times when you decide to let her sleep in your arms.  Here we usually call this AP (accidental parenting) or APOP (accidental parenting on purpose) and use it as a tool to help a baby sleep to avoid OT, or when they are teething or ill to keep them well rested.  We aim to get back on track at the next opportunity, after illness for example.  In the early days it is pretty much the norm for there to be some AP.  Try not to stress about it, your baby is still very young and many people don't begin sleep training until much older.

If your LO is settling very easily in your arms as you say you can now try to get her in the cot eyes open but drooping.  I personally found that I needed to get my LO in a little earlier than this, so he could do his 'seven mile stare' from inside the cot.  He seemed to need to find a place to focus his stare and moving him from my arms to the cot during it or during the nodding phase really unsettled him.  I would stay with him with my hands on him and shushing so he felt he was being cuddled but could already see the view that he would see when he woke up.  This helped us a lot.  If he woke during a nap he was then met with familiar surroundings rather than wondering where he was and how he got there.  Gradually he was able to self sooth and go back to sleep...but lots of help in those early days.

Have introduced a dummy but if it comes out do i put it back in if she cries?
Tracy suggested not.  Many Los find a dummy very comforting and it helps them to relax.  Tracy suggested to allow a dummy for them to work off their sucking reflex, rapid sucks, then slower, then it drops out.  At this point you wouldn't give it back because the sucking reflex has been exhausted and anything beyond this is building a prop.  Lo begins to rely on it for sleep and parents can end up re-plugging many times per night and not getting enough rest themselves.
However, many parents do give the dummy back, if you feel the need then do so, you can wean it later on.  Recent SIDS research suggests it's good to allow LO to have a dummy until aged 6 months.

She seems to only nap for about 45 mins before waking up crying
You might find that just a slightly longer A time might help, but chances are that she has just not yet learned to transition into the next sleep cycle during day naps on her own yet.  If you keep an eye on the clock you can go in at the 35 min mark and position yourself to httj (hold her through the jolts), and if she wakes begin immediate soothing in the cot to see if you can shush/pat her back to sleep.  Remember sleeping alone is a new skill for her and takes time to learn.

Do I try to feed her straight after these short naps or wait til her actual feed time?
Wait until her actual feed time (unless she cries a hunger cry).  This means there will be a little A between S and E, like this EASAEAS.  That's ok.

I expect you have little time for reading at the moment, but if you find a few minutes here and there you might find these links helpful.  There is much information on the site, please also feel welcome to ask for further support, clarification about any advice or new questions on the various boards.

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=180311.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=1439.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=212645.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85500.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=186622.0
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65944.0

Let us know how you get on xx


Offline jjdavo

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Re: New and naps question
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2012, 21:54:06 pm »
Well a big thanks for the advice from you all - have been spending the last few days since trying to implement it, read more about it and (hardest of all) remember it!
I'm pleased to say that I have noticed that she is generally better at independently falling asleep in her crib during the day although she still wakes anywhere between 35 - 60 mins after putting her down.  She certainly has a good go at resisting her tiredness at times too!! Maybe at some point I'll try the w2s at 35mins?? Too scared to try it at the mo!

Still my biggest question and concern is...If she wakes to the point of having to get her out of bed and she won't settle enough to go back, what happen's to EASY? Say if it's over an hour til the next E is due what should I do?

Haven't really found that shh/ pat works enough although I have rested a hand on her chest now and again. Still use the dummy if she wants it and only put it back in if she is crying a lot.

Offline mummyumpkin

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Re: New and naps question
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2012, 22:48:45 pm »
I'm struggling with shh/pat myself and short naps! If she wakes early and you can't resettle yoy have some A time before the feed. You'll need to count the A time begining from when she woke and yoy may find if shes tires from not being refreshed from her first nap that her A time may be little shorter. If having A time before E makes the nap clash with E feed a little sooner just so you can comfortably fit everything in!
Does that make sense?


Offline ZacsMumme

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Re: New and naps question
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2012, 07:58:33 am »
welcome to the boards. :)

Still my biggest question and concern is...If she wakes to the point of having to get her out of bed and she won't settle enough to go back, what happen's to EASY? Say if it's over an hour til the next E is due what should I do

When they short nap it is really impossible to do EASY, so your day canned up a little EASAES, this is okay. The point of EASY isn't to have a strict routine. But to help you know what your baby needs ie if you feed the give your LO some A and they get unsettled,it's likey timeto S not feed again. The other thing that is important is to not feed to sleep if you can help it. This is just to prevent the Breast or bottle becoming a sleep prop.

Your LO is still so little, try not to worry too much about EASY. If you can get 1 good nap in the cot/crib/bassinet a day that is great.
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