8 week old snuggle monster - trying to train him to get to sleep alone - HELP :)

[Cranoir]

Hi All,

I have a very well behaved 8 week-old, who is very smiley and chatty, portable and easy going so long as he's cuddled/ close to people, but who unfortunately, HATES going to sleep on his own. He's a really good sleeper and will often sleep from 8pm to 2am solid, and then can sleep in as late as 9.30am (but while sleep-snacking throughout), so once he's off he's great, but will notice if I try and escape from bed and wake up screaming, which means I have to go to bed at the same time as he does which means I don't get to eat dinner / have an evening.

Since birth he has slept with us in our bed, and been boobed to sleep (naughty me). He eats LOTS through the night (he's 14lb 1oz already!), but that's an issue that I wish to deal with later on. What I'm really after some help / advice on, is how to get him to get to sleep on his own, I'm not fussed at all about him being in with us through the night. I'd like to get him to eat once through the night at some point but like I said, that comes later. 

We have a cot attached to the bed, and he happily plays in there under his mobile, but will not be left to sleep in there. He can send himself off in the buggy or in his swingy chair, but tends to start crying the minute he realises he's been left. He often does the thing where he looks like he thinks he's falling. He can suckle his thumb sometimes but can't always seem to find it. He HATES his car seat too and often wakes up in that crying and wont stop till he's cuddled, which seams bizarre as so many babies just nod right off in them.

We've tried bottles of breast milk as so as my partner can feed him his night feed, but he's a fussy thing and likes boobie too much, he does take it sometimes but is very fussy about it and will protest until he's red in the face, so that doesn't help things.

I'd love to try and get to the stage where he can be put down at 8pm and stay asleep till we want to go to bed at least, as so as I can have some "me" time in the evening ... although I will miss my snuggels   ... It's just so hard to hear him cry, when all he wants is a cuddle (and it's my fault for teaching him that), and it just feels so natural! ...

ANY ideas / advice are VERY much appreciated!!! xx

[Cranoir]

.... Wow! ... Just played with him in his cot with his mobile, just as he started yawning, he started dropping off, but was making little cries, I stroked him and shushed him as he dropped off ... he's been in there for 30 mins!!! ... (small victory) ... would I just do the same again at night time??

[Cranoir]

... lasted only 40 mins, spent the next TWO hours shushing him and contending with him jumping awake just as he was nodding off each time ... how long do you go on for ? ... I gave up and put him in his rocky chair in the end, where he fell asleep and had another 30 mins ... gonna try again at bed time ... wish me luck!! :/

[jessmum46]

It sounds like you were doing a version of shh-pat which is a very effective tool for teaching LOs to settle independently.  Have a look at these links and then let me know if you have any questions

Sleep Training  - the early days
Pat/shush for babies under 3 months old

[Cranoir]

Thanks for that Katherine ... how long would you go on for before giving up each time?

[jessmum46]

For naps I'd try for 40 mins at the start, take a break, short low-key A time then try again.  If you're trying to resettle a nap I'd personally try for 20 mins max then give up and move on with the day, shortening the next A time to prevent OT.  For night time I'd continue for as long as it takes, and same for NWs.

That said, at only 8 weeks it's a lot to expect your LO to sleep completely independently for all naps and night time.  Why not start with the first nap of the day and work on that to begin with, and go with the flow a little more for the rest of the naps if LO is getting very OT?  It gets quite a bit easier to do sleep training from 3 months onwards so don't worry too much about creating bad habits so early.  It passes so quickly so make sure you enjoy some Mummy cuddles!!

[Cranoir]

Katherine that's great advice!!! ... Thanks heaps! ... What does NW mean?

Shall keep you posted and fingers crossed he get to grips with it soon ... Poor wee mite

xx

[jessmum46]

Sorry! NW = night wakings, though I imagine most times at the moment you'll just need to feed

[Cranoir]

Success! ... I've managed to get my babs to sleep for his afternoon nap in his cot (he slept for two hours for his midday nap in his buggy while out shopping). Came home, fed him, did an activity (played with him in his cot - just cooing and talking), and then he went down really easily - just had to shush-pat him while he was jumping in his sleep as he went off. I left him alone in the room, and he's managed to get himself back off when jumping too - REALLY happy!!! I know it's early days, but he's doing sooooo well, he seems to be taking to it much better than i thought he would. Lets hope he manages to keep it up.

[jessmum46]

Great job Mummy

[erin122]

I think I'm in the same situation as you.  It sounds like just pat/shh worked for you.  I will try again the way described.  I think we weren't doing it correctly as we would;d put DD in crib when she was almost asleep so she would jolt when put down.  If you can do it that gives me hope too!