3 months old and 45-minute naps

[natalieliz]

Just as soon as we figured out smooth bed times, our LO's naps got rough. He is 13 weeks. At about 11 weeks, he started needing more soothing to go down for a nap and naps varied in length. This also started the day after he took two really long car naps on a road trip. In the past week, he is pretty consistently at 45 minutes per nap.

We were on a good 3-hour EWS routine with a DWT varying between 7:30a to 8a, depending on when he woke.
Our routine now looks more like this:
8a: wake up and eat 4 oz
9:30 sleep
10:15 fuss, cry, soothe, may or may not sleep more
*if it's been 2.5 hours since he last ate, I feed*
And then this repeats all day...
Bedtime varies, generally 1.5 hours after he last got up

To soothe, I have tried shh-pat (works well to get back to sleep but wakes again shortly after), rocking (works okay but he frequently wakes when I set him down), swing (didn't prolong nap), and wake-to-sleep at 30 minutes in (he woke up so much, he cried and couldn't be calmed back to sleep).

He always naps a full 1.5 hours if we are driving in the car without a lot of stops or if he's been transferred from the car to crib in the middle of the nap.

I know this is common around this age, but I am just having a hard time accepting it has to be this way! What other things could I try? Should I go from a 3-hour routine to a consistent 2.5- or 3.5-hour routine?

And a general question: Is it more important to always feed after he wakes or to always feed at the pre-determined time interval (3 hours)? So, for example, feed when he wakes after 45 minutes or get him up, let him have awake time, feed right at 3 hours, more awake time, and back down for a nap.

Any suggestions are welcome! I'm not getting anything done over here

[natalieliz]

Other relevant info I should have added:
He is bottle-fed 4 oz of formula at every feeding.
We dream feed at 10:30 or 11p before we go to bed.
He usually sleeps through the night, but on especially rough nap days he wakes around 4a to be fed.

[Domestic Engineer]

Regarding the shush-pat, it sounds like it's working but you leave too soon. At this age, you have to stay with him until he's back into a deep sleep, which might take 15-20 minutes. If you get him into a light sleep and leave, he'll wake again within a few minutes.

You might also try wake to sleep. Go in after 35-40 minutes and gently touch him so that his eyes flutter open, then let him fall back asleep. That might get him into a new 45-minute sleep cycle.

The important part of the EASY routine is that you're not feeding him immediately before bed. If you end up feeding him halfway through activity time to preserve a 3-hour feeding schedule, that's fine. Of course, you always feed him when he's hungry, even if it hasn't been 3 hours, but he should be able to go 3 hours by this point most of the time.

[natalieliz]

Thanks for your reply! I'm not surprised that my shh-patting doesn't last long enough... I get impatient by the time I need to use it! I tried wake to sleep once 30-minutes into the nap. He woke so much that he didn't fall back asleep. That's one I want to try again! Is 35-40 minutes the most frequently effective time? Thanks, too, for clarification about the EASY routine and when to feed.

[Domestic Engineer]

You are not the only one who loses patience getting a baby to sleep! I totally understand. Typically I think the 5-10 minute window before he would normally wake up is the most effective, but you do have to be really careful not to really wake him, and it doesn't work with a light sleeper.

Try the longer shush-pat and/or the wake to sleep for a day or two and let us know if you get some longer naps. Good luck!