13 weeks old - how much activity after two short naps

[elamom]

My 13-weeks DD2 has been on an EASY routine since 5 weeks. Over the last 2/3 weeks the 40 minute naps have landed in our house, and they are inconsistent.  For example yesterday she had the following naps: 2hr, 1:40hr, 40min, and 40min. Today another story; 40min and 40min, it's still noon so we will see about the rest of the day. For the past two weeks it has been like this.  One day almost perfect followed by a crappy day.

My main questions are: how much activity should there be after the first 40-minute nap? And after the second 40-minutes nap?   Her normal A time is 1:20- 1:30hr. 

Her EASY TODAY is:

E/A - 7:20a.m.
S    - 8:40 (slept for 40 minutes)
A    - 9:20 happy cooing in her bed
E/A - 10:00 (she only breast-fed for 5 minutes early in the morning so I thought she would be hungry)
S    - 10: 35 (slept for 40 minutes)
A    - 11:20
S    - 11:55 (slept for 40 minutes)


After the second nap she stayed in her bed cooing for 20 minutes, then I went in to sh/p  for 15 minutes until she fell asleep.  She slept for another 40-minutes after that.  If she is cooing in bed should I go and do sh/p? or just leave her be till the next E time? She is happier in her bed than when I do sh/p, where she cries the whole time.

[Katet]

I've always felt if they aren't upset they don't really need help, many babies sleep & then wake & then go back to sleep. It's hard not to worry too much about sleep, but if they are awake & happy in their bed then leave her there it's down time even if it isn't sleep... TBH I never knew if mine were asleep or awake unless they cried or called out because I didn't use a monitor unless I was outside as I could hear them in the house & I tend to think in some ways the ability to monitor them more closely can cause more problems than they solve. 

In terms of A time, I'd follow as much as possible her tired signs, from memory 40min naps are often undertired, so maybe she needs 5-10mins longer after her first wake up in the morning.

[elamom]

Over the past two days I've been able to extend the morning activity at 1:30, but I think I need to extended a bit more (by 5-10), because after the 45 minutes mark she does a mantra cry every 7-10 minutes with her eyes closed.  Is this considered a full sleep?

Her EASY today was:

WU - 7:25am
E    - 7:30
A
S    - 8:55
E    - 10:25
A
S    - 11:55
E    - 1:30pm
A
S    - 3:10  (I put here in bed at 3 but she didn't fall asleep 10min later)
A    - 3:45
S    - 5:20  (she is currently sleeping right now, hopefully she sleeps more than 30min)
A    -
S    - normally aim for 7pm

After her 35 minute nap she tried to resettle but couldn't, then I did sh/pat for 10 minutes (I didn't have the strength to do longer ~20 as I'm currently sick) and couldn't either.  I put her in bed 1hr after her wake time but she wasn't able to sleep till 5:20, which makes of an A=1.35.  Very long A after a 35 minute nap.  It breaks my heart when I see her so tired.  I think being sick today makes me understand even more why she can't fall asleep when she is so tired.  (I couldn't for the life of men fall asleep today).   

My questions are:
- so I guess a 30 minute nap means OT.  Should I aim for A=1:25, she was showing sings around A=1:25?  Should A after second nap be shorter?
- how do I extend the activity when she clearly shows sleeping sings? At A=1:30 before going into her crib she puts her head in my chest, moves it left to right and rubs her eye, and she goes directly to sleep.   

Your comment about the monitor hit right on. I'm attached to my phone when she sleep (I can see her through the app). I even use my husbands phone if I don't have my phone near by so I can see her.  I can tell you the seconds she slept or woke up.  It is exhausting to look at it so much (are her eyes open? are her eyes closed).   I'll try to not look at less  .