Is it worth it? (long post)

[aep155]

Hi, this is my first cry for help, i bought BW and have read it cover to cover as a first time mum I'm not experienced and am worried about creating bad habits in my dd.  Emily is 10 weeks old and scores as an angel baby but i fear i might ruin her from my inexperience.  (sometimes she does display traits of the other types but majority score is angel so...).  I made a two day log to start with and hope that it might be enough info for you guys to help me i was trying a little to match it to EASY.  Yesterday and today i started looking for cues etc regarding sleeping (finished the whole book and read sleep interviews with tracy and re-read sleep chapter) as she doesn't seem to sleep enough , in the hope that i may be able to put her down to sleep at the proper time for proper naps etc.  she is herself on a 3 hour feeding schedule so no problems there.  the problem is is that the last two days i have been trying to get her to wind down and put her down to sleep after reading her cues (ie first yawn legs kicking etc) i have never heard my baby cry so much.  The only thing i seem to do different is try to get her to wind down and sleep when i see it rather than doing it when she is making a fuss (before knowing about cues) it has been really difficult to get through, swaddling sometimes worked in that past when she was a little cranky but at this time makes the crying worse, ssh pat and swaddled - still crying picked up and still the same i actually had her first tear last night. where as before she was a semi independent sleeper she is not rocked or walked just cuddled with a dummy until she gets really drowsy.  I am only just starting to learn about sleep patterns and cycles but why does she seem to wake up after 3 mins after she seems in a deep sleep (moved her and not woken but wakes 3 mins later).  I have also tried to put her down upstairs in her basket as at night rather than downstairs but this seems to not help at all - i cannot put up blackouts as its not my house.  (she does sleep through no problems and has done for a few weeks).  I feel selfish keeping her up late but she doesn't want to go earlier, However, my life feels out of control because i cant get the ironing done - is it really a worry - no but it still stresses me out that its there waiting - i would be happy to spend all day watching my baby doing what she does (without interfering too much obviously just watching and loving) but i also need to get things done but why should i upset my baby for the ironing? maybe im still trying to do all i did before without extra help? oh and her feeding routine went out the window too.

I think i have confused myself with even more information about what i should be doing/trying.  she is generally a very happy baby but its breaking my heart to hear her cry (last and only time she got this upset was when she had her jabs) MIL jokes that i don't know what its like to have a baby being that she is so easy.  Please can someone advise me what to start with first or if i should even change anything being she is happy enough (sometimes a little overtired but not unmanageable).  she is here now talking away in her chair, looking around and smiling when by BW i should have put her to bed ages ago for a nap and she should be going to bed for the night now too? - trying that makes her cry so should i let her sleep when she wants to sleep - she has never cried for sleep before only fussed for a dummy and cuddle to start her off she has just yawned but should i start the process again and upset her or wait till she shouts at me (don't know if this is 'fussing' or not but its not a cry nor is she upset) as normal?

Please help and very confused and over informed first time mum that doesn't want to mess up!

sun 21st May

  9:00 am  - waking talking to herself etc
  9:15 am - feed full 5 oz bottle
  9:45 am - activity time
10:15 am - sleep - settled herself in moses basket within about 10 mins no dummy
11:00 am - waking and dozing
11:20 am - up cuddles sitting talking watching tele
11:50 am - feed full 5 oz bottle
12:15 pm - sitting in bouncer chair
12:30 pm - sleep - settled herself in moses basket within couple of mins no dummy on and    off sleeping
  1:00 pm - waking and dozing
  1:35 pm - up falling back to sleep - put back down - waking and sleeping on and off wrapped in tight
  3:15 pm - waking and dozing
  3:40 pm - up,sitting and talking
  4:00 pm - feed left just under an oz
  4:40 pm - activity time
  5:20 pm - settled herself in moses basket within couple of mins with dummy - woke up within few mins settled again no dummy on and off sleeping
  6:20 pm - up cuddle and comfort
  6:40 pm - feed left 1 oz
  7:00 pm - activity time
  7:30 pm - wind down to sleep
  7:35 pm - settled herself in moses basket within couple of mins with dummy spat it out and stayed awake cooing
  8:00 pm - up cuddles sitting talking
  8.25 pm - cuddle and dummy
  8:30 pm - put down in moses basket - dummy removed woke up resettled with dummy and slept
  9:10 pm - awake
  9:20 pm - feed left 3.5 oz
10:05 pm - sleep for night

mon 22nd may

  8:30 am- awake in cot talking etc
  8:45 - feed full 5 oz bottle
  9:05 - activity time talking etc
  9:15 - started settling herself in moses basket no dummy
  9:30 - tucked in tight hand on chest and shh til drowsy then got to sleep by herself
10:40 - waking
10:50 - up and out dozed in car
11:00 - up and awake
11:40 - dozed in car
12:00 pm - waking and dozing up out of car seat
12:05 - feed left half oz
12:30 - dozed off put into moses basket came to but fell asleep straight away dozing on and off
1:30 - held firm through to next sleep cycle - slept
2:15 - waking and dozing
2:35 - up cuddles til next bottle
3:05 - feed left 1/2 oz
3:30 - activity time
3:40 - cuddles
3:50 - put in moses basket not sleeping at all
4:10 - up
4:20 - back in moses basket with dummy
4:30 - slept
5:05 - waking
5:10 - up and cuddle til next bottle
5:35 - feed left 3 oz
6:15 - active
7:25 - dozing on and off with me
7:40 - put in moses basket but woke right up stayed up in bouncer chair
8:00 - cuddles dummy dozing
9:05 - awake
9:20 - feed left 2 1/2 oz
9:45 - settling herself in cot
10:25 - getting upset hand on chest and shh
10:30 - left her asleep

Andrea and Emily xx

[aep155]

half hour update and she started making little loud shouting type noises and i picked up gave her a dummy and she started to fall instantly asleep - happy - i put her down while her eyes were half closed she stirred after a few mins spat dummy out i've put my hand on her chest and she's gone back to sleep that happened two more times and she's dead to the world! - guaranteed she will wake for her 9:00 bedtime feed as usual then go almost straight to sleep for the night at around 10 pm, getting up from 7 am onwards whenever she wakes up our day starts from then on a 3 hr feeding schedule until the closest feed to 9/9:30 pm then she gets put in her cot to sleep.  Surely this is better than all the crying and struggling to go to sleep on cue as part of a routine what do you honestly think?  have i trained her to give me a shout when she wants to go to sleep - great - thats much easier! lol. 

[corrina01]

Hi there and welcome to the boards

At 10 weeks she is more aware of her surroundings. 

You are doing a great job, let me add.

You will want to set a time for her to get up and a time for her to go to bed i.e. 7am wake up 7pm bed.

To be honest I can't see nothing I can't see nothing wrong with her routine.

What you want to do is when she goes to sleep, stay with her for 20mins to get past the jolts and into the deep sleep, that can happen every 3mins or even 5mins, that is why she is waking.  Does sush pat work?  With my DD only the shushing worked not the pat. The sleep cycles work every 40-45 mins.

I spent about 1 month (I think OTT) looking at my sleeping baby to learn her cues, when she was coming out of deep sleep etc.  It was well worth it, from about 4 months (I started BW at 2months)  she learnt to go to sleep independently for both naps and bedtime.  I would just pull down blackout blind, shut curtains, turn white noise on, sing lullaby and just walk out of the room, and she would fall asleep.

Don't pick her up when she is crying as it can overstimulate to much, lay your hand on her tummy/back and shush till she is asleep, I know it can be painful to hear her cry, but you are with her.

i cannot put up blackouts as its not my house.

I hear what you are saying, put some tin foil over the windows, this a good way to blackout any light, I just used blu-tac to attach it to the window frames.

Do the ironing when she is awake and talk to her what you are going to iron.

HTH

[aep155]

it seems as though she isnt ready for bed when i see her cues so nothing works to calm her down - tried swaddle and pat/shh but she just cries and cries and BW says to pick up and calm them down when they are truly crying - i gave up because she just wouldnt stop came back downstairs put in chair and she was fine again trying to find her new toy - her fist.  then a little later she gave a couple of little shouts (comparative to 'oi you' picked her up got sleepy put her down in moses basket downstairs as usual and she goes to sleep herself.  maybe she doesnt want to go to sleep until she is ready to so i decided after sleeping on it just to start with extending naps rather than change everything then as she starts sleeping longer at night over the next month or two i can put her to bed earlier.  i've had a chat with my husband who said he will help out more with chores so i think i may stick as i am atm. i cant see any accidental parenting tbh so anything else can be changed as she changes too.  it all may change when we move in a few months anyway.

thank you for your reply i do appreciate it i can understand how this routine works for many people but im not happy to make my baby girl cry when i try to put her to sleep when its said that she should etc, however, saying that at least i have some more knowledge about why she may be upset when she does get upset and i know more than i did before.  like tracy said if its not broke dont fix it and a happy contented baby surely is what we are all aiming for which is what i have.  its been nice to know that she really is an angel baby though!!

Best wishes

Andrea and Emily x

[corrina01]

With my DD I read her cues, she is tired, I do a winddown routine, that involves me taking her upstairs and laying on our bed just talking quietly and after 15 mins I put her down.

Maybe she is ready to stay awake a bit longer, even though she has started showing tired signs, but she is not ready for bed, try extending her A times by 15 mins.

i cant see any accidental parenting tbh so anything else can be changed as she changes too.  it all may change when we move in a few months anyway.

You are not doing accidental parenting, as she can go to sleep by herself, independently.  All babies are different, at her age some can stay awake for an hour and half, some babies can only stay awake for an hour.

like tracy said if its not broke dont fix it and a happy contented baby surely is what we are all aiming for which is what i have.

Exactly.

She feeds well, she sleeps well and she is happy, that is all that matters.

[pedro]

Hi there.  After almost 4 weeks on EASY since birth, my son just seems to be getting into the swing of things.  But like your baby he would be very unsettled in the evening and carried on in the way you describe.  I learnt that what was waking him/causing him to be unsettled was often tummy pains and wind.  Are you burping her after every feed?  It is essential that you do this or the gas builds up in the tummies over the course of the day and can wreak havoc come night time.  My son will still squirm in his cot or wake up if he needs to burp and will then go back down again straight away.  Just a thought for you to consider!

[LŠuren]

Andrea
How are you getting on? I have just read your post could totally relate, Calum was the same for a long while at nights, before I realised he was screaming and would not settle to sleep because he was overtired (and hungry sometimes). During this period he would ONLY sleep on DH at bedtime, I soon came to realise that because I had him in a gro'bag his arms and legs were flailing about all the time and I started to swaddle him, WHAT A DIFFERENCE it made, it was like a different baby at bedtime.

Hope you are feeling OK, your post just reminded me of the worst times we went through! As Corrina says your doing a great job, we never managed to bring his bedtime closer to 7.30pm until he was about 5months. Like you it DS was unsettled all evening then sleeping at 10pm - things will get better.

Lauren