Wake to Sleep NOT WORKING!!! HELP, HELP, HELP!!!!!!

[twoboys]

Not really.  The last break I got was when I had job interviews...sent out 9 resumes and had 8 interviews, and received job offers from all 8!!  That was at the beginning of May.  So, the only break I get is when I take a shower in the morning - Josh is napping and Justin is watching his video.  But that doesn't mean he doesn't come barging into the bathroom to see what mom is doing.

If I do go grocery shopping by myself, I have to go fast.  Josh still doesn't like his dad and will scream for the 30-40 minutes I am gone.  But, that was in the evening when hubby is home from work - colic time maybe??  I have no idea.  So, if I need to get anything done, I usually have to haul the kids with me, or wait till hubby comes home so he can come with me.

If I start putting the kids down earlier, should I do it in 15 minute increments?  Or should I just start them at the earlier bedtime?  Would love to get some guidance on this one....I'm kinda looking for some help at this point.  Going in circles makes me dizzy!!!

Stacey

[Silas Mum]

Oh Sweetie .... what a rough go you are having!  You are an awesome Mother and I know your boys love you so much and if they could they'd say, "thanks Mum for all you do for us!".  =)

I was telling Tom, my DH (who couldn't hurt a fly -- should be interesting to see how he'll ever disipline our kids!), about your DH and he says, "his Mamma needs to do some talkin' to him!"  Tom also had a good idea ... he said that you should sit DH down and tell him that every week you are going to have "Mummy time".  It should be the same time every week so that he, as well as the kids, know that you won't be home.  Ideally, it should be time not grocery shopping!  As for LO crying while Dad takes care of him; oh well, Dad's gotta' learn how to deal with it.  I've had alot of friends with husbands who were not "hands-on" and they said that after three weeks of leaving LO with Dad, he started pitching in.  It's just a thought ... from my limited experience as a Mum.  =)   

As for the sleeping ... in my 12 weeks of motherhood, I can attest that things got WAY better when we started putting Silas down at 700pm.  I've had soooo many people tell me that infants need to be put to bed no later than 800pm ... ideally between 630-730pm.  I have also read it in a couple of books as well. 

Regarding the colic ... I found that the crying would be horrific for two days, worse than usual and then it seemed to "disappear" for a day or two and then came back again.  Now we don't have anymore crying --- thank goodness!

You are doing a wonderful job ... just take one day at a time.

Allison  =)

[twoboys]

I hear what all of you are saying and I think that I will be talking to DH about "me time".  I would love to have a couple of hours to myself once a week.  I find that I take out my frustrations on everyone....including the kids.  And I know it's not their fault and they don't deserve that.

It has been pretty quiet in the house tonight.  I don't think that I have said two words to DH since he came home from work.  He knows that something is wrong, but I know that if I say anything right now, I will include hurtful things - so I need to calm down a bit first.  So, he has been trying to keep the kids entertained too....right now it's too quiet.  I think he fell asleep with Josh in his lap so I had better go and see - besides - I should start the bedtime routine for Josh if I am to get him down earlier.

I will keep you all posted....wish me luck!!!

Stacey

[Silas Mum]

Yes, do let us know how it goes with DH.  I really encourge you to communicate with him (when the hockey game isn't on & you aren't totally exhausted!) and to let him know what you need ... but also to encourage him as to the good things he does as a Dad.  In my experience, I get a far better response out of Tom this way.  The other thing I've heard is that it's important for Dad to have 20 minutes of down time when he gets home from work before you hand off the kids to him, even though you've had enough of them for the day.  I'm not trying to sound "preachy", but I have a sister and best friend who are counsellors, so I'm just repeating what they keep telling me!  LOL!!   

As I was drinking my coffee, watching LO and trying to catch his "jolts", I was thinking, ".. I sure hope Stacey has simplified things in her life ..."  For instance, I've got this bottle warmer that I got at Walmart that heats bottles in 30 seconds ... total life saver.  I also picked up a bottle sterlizer at Walmart that you put the rinsed out bottles in and put in the microwave and they're sterlized in 5 minutes.  Things like that, that'll make it a tad easier to get through your day.  I also put a comfy stool by the crib, so I can sit by little one when need be.  It's so much easier elevating the crib mattress b/c I have better access to him.

Well, I better get to bed ... LO is down, DH is working outside finishing up some loose ends on the garage addition.  Did I mention that we must have rocks in our heads to be selling our house and having to keep it PERFECT & not smelling like poopy diapers, for real estate agents to bring through potential buyers at a moments notice?!!! 

[twoboys]

Well, I was right.  DH and Josh were asleep in the chair watching the hockey game.  So, I went and ran Josh's bath and woke him up and the first thing my hubby said was "hey, we were chillin' together".  Too bad.....your not the one who has to get up with him at night.

I did get Josh into bed 15 minutes earlier....but he used that 15 minutes to fuss/cry.  So, he went to sleep at his regular time.  I don't know if anything will change tonight.

After the kids were done in the bath, I went to lie down for a few minutes to get my bearings.  Then DH went into the garage....to do what....I have no idea.  So, needless to say we didn't chat.  I am hoping that we can sit down tomorrow and do this.  But, in the meantime, I am going to take the boys shopping tomorrow - I think I need to spend some money on me!!  On what - I have no idea!!

Will keep in touch to let you all know what is happening.  But I must go to bed....Josh is "technically" going to wake up in 30 minutes, so I am going to get ready for bed and try the W2S method again.  You never know....it may work tonight.  Keep your fingers crossed!

Goodnight....
Stacey

[andibig]

i definetly recommend retail therapy. and chocolate!!!! i also had to talk to DH about me having some ME time. like someone else said i said lots of encouraging things like how good a dad he is etc and he will now give DD a bath most nights. maybe your DH could start doing that and that would help develop their relationship. as for DS crying like pp said dad has to get used to it!!!

[twoboys]

Well -- I did the W2S last night and Josh didn't wake up at his usual 11:30-12!!!  I was so excited when I looked at the clock and it was 2:30 and he was waking up for the first time.  Well, if we can get rid of that 11:30 waking, I will be working at getting that 2:30 done away with as well.

I was all ready to go shopping, but I have to stick to home.  The dog is not doing well....she started to vomit blood this morning so the vet told me that I have to keep an eye on her and make sure she stays hydrated, etc.  No food though for 24 hours....we did put her in a kennel last weekend during our trip so I am sure she picked something up.  So, when dad comes home I'm gonna get out of here for awhile.

Wish I could chat some more, but I have to and deal withthe LO's. 

See Ya!!!
Stacey

[andibig]

sending josh some stay asleep vibes
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((sleep))))))))))))))))ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[twoboys]

It was so cute.  The boys are down for their afternoon nap and when I went to put Josh in his crib, Justin had climbed into his bed and was already asleep - Bless his little heart!!!

Now that I have a few moments, I just wanted to let you know that DH used to bath Justin all the time - and they have a wonderful relationship.  I  have asked hubby to bathe Josh to see if they can get over the "I don't like daddy" thing.  I think that I am going to have to be a little bit more persuasive in that.  I'm sure that if Josh spends more time with dad, in some form or another, they will get along fine.  And then I can get out of here too for awhile.

I have chocolate in the house, since I couldn't go shopping. But I started with Caramel Cashew Toffee Crunch ice cream....there goes the diet!!!

I think we are definately going to have a better night tonight.  AND I am going to sit and chat with my hubby tonight too....I have been so mean to him these last few days and I know we have to talk this out.  I do act like a baby sometimes.

Thanks for everyones encouragement and support....it's nice to know you have shoulders out there to lean on!!!

Stacey

[twoboys]

Well, the night went well....I think.  When hubby came home from work, we ate dinner and I said that I needed to go out shopping.  And I left - and I took my time too.  Even though it was for a grocery shopping trip, I took my time instead of rushing up and down the isles so I could get home.  I knew Josh would scream the whole time I was gone - and he did.

By the time I got home 90 minutes later, he was already in bed sleeping.  I don't know if he will sleep through the night though.  He didn't eat much today - although he is teething and that could be the reason.  I will do the W2S again to see if he makes it to 2:30 again.

But even being out of the house for that short of time made me feel better.  Just to have me time. 

Thanks to all of you who listened to me rant and rave about my life.  I appreciate all the kind words and hugs.  Hope to see you around the boards!!

Take Care.....
Stacey