Looking for help with routine and sleep issues!

[Anita S.]

Jaci-
I had to ask my mother to MAKE larger swaddling blankets from the stert, as Claribel was born 20 inches and is now 24 inches long! We also neede extra lightweight cotton for the tropics and all we could find even in local stores was flannel or waffle weave. So Mom just went to the fabric store, chose some super-girlie fabric and hemmed it on four sides. It also helped that it isn't stretchy, it holds better.

Sometimes instead of just "tomorrow is another day", I have to feel it nap by nap...each time she wakes up is another chance to have a good time together....fresh and new.

I'm about to switch her from her tiny bassinett to the crib...yet another chance to show us how well she can adapt!

[Tanners Mom]

Thanks for the swaddle advice ladies!

So I have the mattress and we are almost ready to introduce Tanner to his new digs...we are trying to get ourselves psyched up for it.

I have some new questions. I'm reading BW solves all your problems...how will I know his 'mantra cry'? I'm a bit confused on that. Also - what happens if he just stares at me when I lay him down (he used to do that when I tried in the past). Do I walk away and see if he settles himself (highly unlikely)? Or do I just stare back? Basically just stay besides him till he does cry and then try shh/pat and eventually pu/pd if necessary?

What's best? Starting with nighttime or naps? What happens if I do pu/pd through an entire nap cycle? When I feed him next, he'll surely fall asleep while eating (he tends to do that if tired). Do I just keep him from sleeping as best I can and then keep him up till next nap time?

What an adventure we're embarking upon...yikes!

Thanks!!
~Jaci

[holdenlouis]

Hi Jaci,
First I would use the crib to play so your lo can get used to it. Let him get comfortable so he feels safe and that he knows that it is not just for sleep. I used to put Holden in it w/ his mobile on and he would just smile and talk to his little animals. One day he actually fell asleep. Wish it was that easy all the time lol. The mantra cry is a cry that sounds like a whaaa whaaa whaaa w/out getting a cresendo I guess that's how I can explain it. There is a sticky I think in pu/pd that is an interview w/ Tracy that explains it well and how to do pu/pd. When I would do pupd with Holden I would see how hard and loud he cried and I would pu and pd as soon as he stopped crying I alo would say shh it's ok we're only going sleepytime. If he cried again I would do the same thing and do it over and over. It took a couple weeks but was worth it. I really didn't do shh/pat cause it seemed to annoy him more. but I would rub his back until he was calm and then stop so he didn't fall asleep while I was rubbing his back. I guess what they say is it is only your job to get them comfortable to fall asleep not to put them to sleep. That is what you are trying to teach him to fall asleep on his own w/out any props. It is hard to start and it will be rough but it is so worth it. If he goes an entire nap cycle and you feed him and he falls asleep you wake him w/a diaper change and then lay him down. As long as there is something between your breast and the sleep. I hope I emembered everything and look around on the other boards in the FAQ lots of info and you have the book now too that will really help. Hope this helps and good luck.

Lisa

[Tanners Mom]

Well...so far so good. We are on day 3 of sleep training using shush/pat and pu/pd and Tanner is adapting well.

Lisa - I didn't see your advice to let him play in the crib first but I've done so since...it's a great idea.

Anyway...I have some more questions now that we are into it a bit. Tanner is falling asleep by himself but for naps is only sleeping 20-40 minutes and then waking and crying. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep (with me there) but sometimes he won't. Will these get longer as we keep doing this?

Also - when he was sleeping in the sling, he was a pretty deep sleeper. I could empty the dishwasher and make dinner (pots and pans banging) and he wouldn't wake...but now that he is in his own crib, he jolts at the slightest sound. Will this get better too as he gets used to his crib? He's in our living room (only place in our small apartment for him) and it's open to the kitchen and I would LOVE to get some stuff done while he sleeps!

The last couple of naps I've put him down and walked away instead of staying there. He does fall asleep on his own but he does cry for a bit first. It's not a hysterical cry but he'll do 1-5 'waaa's' and then kinda moan and turn his head back and forth and then a couple of minutes later he'll do that cry again. And then eventually he'll fall asleep. Does that sound right? Since he stops crying after a couple of 'waaa's' - I figure he's settling himself. Will he eventually stop crying like that and just fall asleep?

Today for one of his naps - he was looking tired and yawning and such so I did our wind down and put him in his bed and kissed him and walked away and he just laid there without making a peep for about 15 minutes. Then he started his crying like I described above for almost 1/2 hour - but then it escalated so I went to him. Anyway...he eventually fell asleep about an hour and 20 minutes into his 'naptime'. But I'm wondering...did I put him down too soon? It was so weird that he just laid there for 15 minutes before fussing/crying.

Thanks ladies...your advice and thoughts have been very helpful!
~Jaci

[holdenlouis]

Hi Jaci,

That does sound like he is trying to self soothe (rolling his head and the mantra cry ). Glad things are going good for you both there. That will get better and he will do it less and less. Now about the short naps we always had them and I call him the 45 min man!! But you can try to train him to sleep longer. You can pu/pd again or try the wake to sleep. I tried that once or twice but the timing has to be just right. You might have waited a bit too long to lay him down. Do you know how long your A time is yet?  I can't remember how much Holden had at that age, I want to say maybe an hr or less. Maybe someone else can help you there.

Lisa

[Anita S.]

Wow, Jaci, I'm glad you're trying this first! We're about to go through a couple of transitions...from the bassinett to the crib, and from home to work with me during the day, with a playpen.

The past couple of mornings, dd has awakened at 5am! Yesterday she refused to go back to sleep...I resorted to the vacuum track on our white noise cd...gotta remember to take off the 'repeat', bc she startled back awake after settling down nicely when it started back up. VVROOM!! WAAAAAHHH!!

Today, I changed her 10lb wet diaper, told her it was too early to get up, laid her back down fully awake...she made a few sounds, did a couple of mantra cries, and I woke back up at 8am!!! Miracle! Now, I'm not going to expect this every time, but it  helps to know they CAN soothe themselves to sleep, eh?

Mommy Power! You go girl!

[Tanners Mom]

Hi Ladies!
Things are still going pretty good. I have a new question. So...Tanner is falling to sleep by himself without me standing there!!! (miracles of miracles) HOWEVER, he's been waking at 45 minutes or so (once it was at 1 hour 10 min.) and then he does his mantra cry on and off every couple of minutes for 1/2 hour!!! I've been going to him after that point b/c it feels like I'm letting him CIO. What gives? Is this normal? If I stop intervening will he eventually fall back to sleep on his own? It's so weird b/c he is actually falling asleep w/o me so I would think he would get himself back to sleep w/o me.

Also...what do you do when the routine gets WAY off? Normally he is up at 8am, naps at 10, 2 and 6 and bed around 8-8:30pm. But yesterday he napped from 10:20-11:30. Then he was tired at 1:15 so I put him down and he was asleep by 1:30pm. He slept till 2:15pm and wouldn't fall back to sleep. So he was up. He took another nap at 4:30 till 5:15 and then I gave him a bath at 6:30pm. This is an hour earlier than normal. Do you girls normally try to keep up your LO's when they get 'off' routine?

Anita - I had been wondering how the transition to the crib was going. That is SO cool that you can bring her to work with you! What an amazing job you must have! Good job at getting her back to sleep in the AM. Good luck with all the transitions. It will happen...believe me - I NEVER thought this would happen with Tanner! Let us know how it goes!

Lisa...you had asked about his A time - usually 2 - 2.5 hours. But I really try to watch his signals. He gets pretty cranky and starts to rub his eyes when he is getting tired.

Thanks so much, ladies!
~Jaci

[Anita S.]

Jaci, I NEVER try to keep Claribel up when she's off her routine. She gets inconsolable when it's past 2 hours awake. I have just become more flexible with her routine. Instead of EASY, it is very often EASAS (with very little Y), but it keeps the peace, and she's often waking at the 45min mark, too. If she seems like she's still tired (cranky sounding, waggin her head back and forth), I try to get her back to sleep. If she's laying there with wide-open eyes, looking at me and smiling like "What's up? What are we doing now?", there's no sense fighting it. I just know that in about an hour, she will need another nap. It's RARE that she gets more than an hour nap.

Actually I put off the crib change until my dh returns from a trip. I didn't want too much change at once, for her or me! We'll have to go from the ease of a bassinett with a zip-close mesh to a crib and mosquito net (one of the many joys of life in the tropics). I love the convenience of zipping her closed and knowing that there's no way for a mosquito to get in there. A net is a little trickier...although there won't be the "bzzzzzz" of zipping it closed to worry about!

Next week I'll try to get her used to napping in the playyard. She seems to like it to sit in right now...wish me luck!

-Anita

[holdenlouis]

Anita,

You can always put DD down to play in the crib while you are cleaning or something. I used to put Holden down and put on his mobile. My DD used to put the linky toys across the crib also when she would play with him in there. He loved it and would just smile and talk away with her. This got him used to the crib then eventually I would have him nap there then finally to bed at night. I think it becomes familiar for them and they know it's just not a place to sleep they can play too. Do you have a mobile? I hated that I had to take Holdens down at 6 mo. when he could finally situp on his own.

Lisa

[Sharoncattell]

Hi

I am new to EASY and am going to try it properly tomorrow.

i have one concern, my 6 week old point blank refuses to sleep between 7pm and 10pm.   She just is not tired at that time.  What can I do?

Sharon

[holdenlouis]

Once you start the easy routine things should fall into place. Do you have Tracy's book? There's lots of info in there and also on the easy board.

Lisa

[Anita S.]

Hi, Sharon,
I agree that things will fall into place, just before they change again!LOL 
I have recently decided not to try to force asleep time when there's a totally alert happy baby in front of me. So allow for some very mellow awake time and wait for the signals of sleep. Then she will know that when she's tired, it's time to go to sleep. I found that when forced to settle down, it only keys my lo up....so I patiently wait, and as her schedule gets more regular, so do her rhythms and sleep signs.
-Anita