3 weeks and I panic at nap/bed time

[Frankiesma]

Hi

My 3 week DD is coming across as touchy and spiritied (my first was Textbook).

When it comes to nap times etc I am going in to a state of panic and would happily just cuddle and feed her all night/day rather than go through the anxiety of having her drop off to sleep (usually whilst feeding), putting her down, to have her wake up almost immediately - sometime even before I've put her down.

I know I'm asking too much for any sort of routine to be in place, but I am anxious not to create a PROP (but suspect I am too late).  I discovered BW when my other DS was 2 months or so and have been keen to use the principles with this one.

She barely seems to have any A time (usually) as no sooner do we change a nappy and she yawns.  I do the wind down - close the curtains, say good night mr sunshine and then cuddle her for usually 20 minutes.  If she won't settle I pop her on the boob!  I've read on the FAQ that I could be using Pat and Shh, but would my touchy/spritied baby be able to handle this?

Also most evenings she tends to not settle at all after bath - our routine is - 6.15 bath, then get her dressed in a darkened room, feed her, take her into our room (which is a lot brighter as we're waiting for the blackout blinds), cuddle her for 20 mins and put her down.  She often will sleep for 45 mins, but then wakes up.  Or she don't sleep at all and will wake up alert and then hits overtired. 

Typical (sort of) day could be:

7/7.30 - feed - 30 mins or so
A = nappy
815 ish - bed - though sometimes won't settle at all until next feed time!
10 ish - feed 25-30 mins
A = get changed
11 ish - bed
2 - feed
A = nappy/ and possibly more alert
3.30-4 - nap (sometimes)
5 - feed
Awake/dozing
6.15  bath
6.30 feed - breat or bottle of expressed
7ish bed or not at all
9.30/10/10.30 - bottle feed if earlier - or dreamfeed (formula).  Tends to go to sleep ok
2/2.30 - bottlefeed and sleeps ok
5.30 - may wake up for a feed.  Doesn't always go back to sleep
back to the beginning again!

Does anyone have any ideas on:

1.  Is my wind down ok?
2.  should we be trying pat/shh?
3. Am I expecting too much (midwifes and HV's say just let babies sleep on you etc and I'm getting confused - and upset)
4.  Anything else that may help?

Thank you - I've had a few moments in the last couple of days when I'm just shouting at everying including baby and then just crying as I feel so bad.  Hubbie goes back to work tomorrow and I'm panicking!

Andrea

[KellyC]

Hi Andrea

I couldn't read and not reply - first of all big {{hugs}}.  I have a 2 week old DS also and DH is going back to work tomorrow, I'm dreading it too!

My older DS was also very touchy (and is now very spirited  ) and could also only stay awake for about as long as it took to feed and change him.  Don't worry about the A time being short (I wouldn't even worry about looking at your clock except to check he's feeding often enough - just do the EASY order of things and go by his cues). 

Firstly, are you swaddling?  I don't think either of my babies would have slept so well if their arms were flailing all over the place.  In fact, Nathaniel came out of his swaddle during his morning nap today and the poor lad scratched his face with his nails and woke himself!  My first also had a dummy and I couldn't have survived the first 3 months without it (we took it away at 3 months).  Don't feel bad if you don't have time for a long wind-down because you're dealing with your older child either - if he's tired almost straight after his feed and you're cuddling him for 20 minutes maybe it's too late for him to settle, how about trying a much shorter wind-down?

I'm finding it helpful to have one or two naps in the bedroom each day and to do the afternoon naps on the run.  Maybe it would be helpful to give yourself a break each afternoon and do the same?  DS1 would only sleep in his own cot for the longest time and I'd like this one to be more flexible if at all possible!

A midwife visited me last week and told me 'they say you should tuck your baby in up to his shoulders and let his hands be free'.  I smiled and nodded 

Kelly x

[Frankiesma]

Hi

Thanks for that.  It is tiredness (for me) definitley - my DH let me sleep in the spare room and did all the night feeds last night.  What a star.

We tried swaddling and then had an awful experience of her screaming when we wrappe her up.  At the time I thought it was colic but I suspect bad wind - which I think is a lot of her problems too.  She is very twitchy though so it is probably the answer.

We've started giving her formula for her Dreamfeed and the 2.30 feed, as she just won't latch on when she's sleepy.  Midwives haven't helped by saying - my supply will decrease etc etc, which sent me in to panic (doesn't take much) so I'm tryng to express more - but don't seem to produce much in the evening (which I think may also be part of the problem) - mornings are fine - it's just finding the time.

I will try the swaddling again tomorrow - at the mo DH is cuddling her, having given her 4 oz since I fed her at 6.45 and she hasn't gone down yet!

Thanks again for the words of encouragement
Andrea

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

As far as swaddling goes, for the first week/10 days, my dd hated it (HATED IT) and I was so tempted to just not do it, but now it helps so much.  Not only to help her feel secure, turns off the moro reflex etc but it's like she knows it's time to sleep now. 
Also, three weeks is young, don't push it too much.   Give yourself a freebie nap (however you have to do it)from time to time - just to get the sleep in there.