can't take one more day of this

[sensfan]

Hello! In desperate need of some help here, I feel like I'm losing my mind. DS is 6.5 months old, and we've recently weaned him from the paci for sleep times. First week went really well. He was more or less setlling himself..it just seemed to take a little longer, and the most I might have to do would be to go back in and roll him over and wrap him back up (he's still swaddled with one arm out). His A times had increased to between 2-2.5 hours.

Since last Wed., I've been going through hell with him at naptimes. He will not settle! He screams and screams, sometimes with me doing pat/shush and PU/PD for the entire nap time. The first day I'd put him down after 2 hours, and thought it may have been too early. But when I tried 2.5 it's the same thing. He'll be perfectly happy and content until I go to put him down. I feel like I can't find the window anymore. I have no idea if this is some sort of regression from paci weaning or something else entirely.

Today started out a little better. He was awake at 7, I BF him at 7:30, he played in bed with daddy, had his breakfast at 8:30, we played on the carpet/practiced sitting, played with the dog, then went upstairs, changed diaper, swadled, lullaby and down at 9:30..and he settled on his own after 5-10 min. Up at 11:30, BF, played with toys in playpen while I cleaned up in kitchen and let the dog out, got changed upstairs, lunch at 12:30, then went to run a few errands. Back at 1:40, plenty of time to settle, no sleepy cues yet, swaddled, lullaby, down by 2:00, fussed for about 10min, went back in, reswaddled...and the screaming began. It's now 3:30, he's missed his nap entirely, I'll feed him and try again.

This is what's been happening for days, sometimes at both naps. Plus he's been fighting the catnap...I can only seem to get him to take it while out walking the dog (maybe sleeps 20 min.) I am getting so frustrated dealing with this, I don't know where I've gone wrong! Help please!

[claires mum]

Hmmm...at 6.5 months the A time is increasing to anywhere between 2.75-3 hours and the catnap usually disappears as a result. 

Your first morning nap time seems pretty good at 2.5 hours A time so I think I would leave that one as is. Then try to do nap 2 about 2.75/3 hours after he wakes up tomorrow.  Hopefully he will sleep for 1.5 hours.  If he does, then I would drop the catnap and shoot for an early bedtime. 

When you're in the process of dropping the catnap you might notice that there are some days he is a little more tired that others so be flexible. If you feel like you need to do a catnap to get him through till bedtime, or if one of the 2 main naps is really short, then I would do whatever it takes to get him to sleep in the late afternoon. For example, a little walk in the stroller if he will sleep there. The purpose of the catnap is just to get him through till bedtime so luckily you can "cheat" a little for this one to get him a little bit of extra rest.

What do you think?

[sensfan]

It's worth a try. When I'm putting him down I'm not always seeing a lot of sleepy cues, other than some yawns. And he has been fighting the catnap for a few weeks now. We've already been cheating at this one Since the weather's been getting better we've been taking him when we walk the dog, and if I'm lucky he'll doze for another 20 min.

How does a 3 hour A time work with feeding times though? For ex: he was awake at 7:00 this morning, fed him at 7:30, solids at 8:30, and just fell asleep for nap #1 at 9:40. Let's assume he wakes up at 11:30, just in time for the next BF. He'll have solids at 12:30, and then I'd try to put him down between 2:15-2:30. His next BF time would be 3:30, but then he'd only be sleeping an hour or so. 1.5 hour nap would have me feeding him at 4:00 instead. So when you move to 3 hours of A time and 2 naps, do your E times get more flexible? Do you focus more on how long they've slept for?

[Purplecattypants]

Just marking, I am also confused about the longer A times and what happens to E times etc!

[Jann]

I don't have an answer but i am in the same situation.  My DS in currently transitioning from 2 hr A time to 3 hr A time.  We are currently at the 2.5  A time and his naps have increased from 45min  to 1.15 and more.  His last nap ended  at 10.15, i fed him at 10.30.  He will be awake from 10.15 -12.45 or so.  That means he will have 1.45 min to nap before the next feed.  That is how i view it.  He will still have the catnap because he still hasn't made it to the 3 hr A time in order for the A time before bed to be bearable for my LO.

J

[Purplecattypants]

Well I have been trawling and looked at some sample easy routines and this one looks good:

7.00            wake up & feed
9.30            nap  1 1/2hrs
11.00          feed
2.00           nap 1 1/2
3.30           feed
5.30           bath
6.00           feed and bed

That afternoon feed will be due at 3pm but hopefully he might sleep until 3:30pm instead so the feed is a little late...might run into problems if he wakes from hunger though! I'm going to try this tomorrow and see. Also think I may run into problems with the first A time only being 2.5hrs as he's waking after 45mins on that now...We are slightly different in that we havent started solids yet (doing BLW but not interested yet).

Sounds like you need to try this though Sensan, esp with lo fighting the catnap 

[sensfan]

Well, 3 hour A time changed absolutely nothing Today I put him down at 9:30, he fell asleep rolled over on his bellyby 9:40, left him to see how he'd do rather than risk waking him, he woke at 10:00, rolled him over and left, he settled but woke again at about 11:00 and wouldn't go back down (total sleep time about 1 hour 15). Let him play in his crib until about 11:15, got him up, went downstairs, patted the dog for a few minutes, BF at 11:30. Practiced sitting for a bit, let the dog out, went upstairs to get changed, ate 2 tbsp. peas at about 12:20. Went to the mall to get a birthday present for my brother, played happily with toy in his stroller, back home by 1:25. Changed again, walked around upstairs, watching for sleepy cues, swaddled, rocked in chair, sang lullaby, down in crib, turned on music, left room at 1:50. Fussed, went back in, was rolled over with legs stuck in the bars, rolled him back over...and the screams began. Gave up around 3:15, calmed him in the chair, BF at 3:30 (went longer than normal since I had to keep waking him up) back in crib by 4:25, has now been sleeping about 25 min. (I know I'm writing a lot, but I'm trying to show exactly what we're doing in case someone can spot anything I'm missing ) Maybe try 2.75 A time tomorrow...

Purple cattypants: I just hate the idea of waking him before he's had a good long nap, especially if I've had trouble getting him down. Here was my logic (admittedly fuzzy): waking for feeds was really important in the beginning because we didn't want too much day sleep and we wanted enough daytime calories to get through the night. Now that he's older I thought maybe feed times could be a little more flexible since, with only 4 daytime feeds (plus solids) he WILL get them in before bedtime. I figure let him go at least to an hour and a half (as long as we haven't gone WAY past E time) and if he's hungry sooner, he'll wake up and I'll feed him. Thoughts?

[Purplecattypants]

I'm sorry you've had a hard day again! Big hugs. Hmmmm no waking them from naps doesnt sit well with me either..with regards to that afternoon one, what i meant was I was thinking maybe he will wake himself after an hour because he's hungry and its been 4hrs since the last feed?....I'm hope probably not though, we've gone longer than 4hrs before so hopefully this wont be a problem. So yes, it can be flexible. As I said, i'm going to try it tomorrow, will let you know how I got on. In your case, it may no be as much of an issue as you've started solids.

So, when your lo rolls over are you always going in and rolling him back? What is your reason for doing this....could you just leave him? Have you tried a positoner?  Also, if your lo has had 1hr 15 sleep I would consider that as a good enough nap....ok, 15mins shorter than the ideal, but thats not so awful. I dont let Josh sleep over 1.5hrs during the day as it takes away from his nighttime and we get early wakings etc. For babies, a sleep cycle is 45 mins, so 1.5 hours is ideal as its two sleep cycles.

[claires mum]

Quite a few posts here since I last visited...these are my thoughts.

The routine posted by Angela is spot on.  There is flexibility with E times...remember that EASY is more of a consistent sequence of events rather than a time specific schedule.  So if your LO wakes at 3.30 and the feed was due at 3.00...give the feed at 3.30.  No problems there and his body clock will adjust.  You don't need to wake him...he'll do it himself if he's super hungry but the chances are slim I think.

If you are going to make a change to A times, you need to give it 3 days.  There is NO WAY that one day of change is going to give you any results that are going to be indicative of whether the change is working.  My advice is to give every change you make 3 days of consistency...then if it doesn't work it's time to try something else.  OK??

RE the rolling over...make a game during the day where everyone is on the floor rolling forward and backwards.  Your LO needs to learn how to do this ....might help out with his sleeping if he knows he can do it without you.

When LOs are OT their sleep cues become a bit unreliable.  Better to decide a routine and stick to it for the 3 days.

Hope this is of some help.  Stick with it.

[sensfan]

Purplecattypants: Thanks for the hugs! I was able to stay much calmer today at least. I didn't try to pull my own hair out once Suprisingly he slept about 1.5 hours when I put him down at 4:30, so I didn't need to worry about the catnap. When I go in to him, he's usually upped the volume on his crying. He doesn't seem to like being on his belly. Plus, he sometimes manages to get his legs stuck in the bars of the crib. I haven't tried a positioner...would it work now that he rolls around so much? He's become quite the crib migrator.

Clairesmum: Thanks for reminding me about the 3 day thing. I'll stick with 3 hours until then...although we're travelling to a wedding this weekend which I'm sure will just throw everything off. I'm having nightmares about hotel security coming and knocking on the door demanding to know what I'm doing to my child We do let him roll around on the floor, although probably not as much as we could. We've got a 2 year old lab who is quite frisky and loves to be all over Ryan, so we're very careful about that. Maybe I'll do some more of that upstairs when the dog's in his crate.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

[claires mum]

Try and relax..what will be will be.  I know that when we change our routine because of some event I usually end up having to fix the problems it creates...but that's life.  Can't lock ourselves up forever can we!

[Purplecattypants]

Hmmm...i'm not sure about the positioner tbh....my lo doesnt roll in the cot yet thankfully. I reckon it might still work for you though?

Well, I have done what I said and planned to drop the catnap today....awake at 6:45, asleep at 9:30, 1hr 20min nap. This afternoon he's had just over 3 hours A time, and has STILL woken up after 50mins from his afternoon nap! Very annoying as this means a 6pm bedtime!!! He's just chatting so not sure that its hunger, but maybe I should try a top up breastfeed before I put him down in the afternoons....I think I need to start my own post 

[sensfan]

Once we get back from the wedding this weekend I think I may get rid of the swaddle entirely and put him in a sleep sack. See how he reacts to that much freedom

From everything I've been told if it's hunger you'd definitely know...not that it doesn't stop you from wondering My little monkey has been eating very strangely all day today, so I'm not sure how that affected naps. Nap #1 he went down easily, but woke up after 1 hour 15 with a big poop. Tried putting him down after 3 hours for nap #2 and it was Screamfest: the sequel. Some good news though. He settled down after 50 min. and dropped off, although he only slept 35. He was tired enough that he slept another 30 min around catnap time in his crib. *sigh*

Hope tomorrow goes better for both of us!