What's gone wrong??

[madelineowen]

 

Help!

My daughter is 2 years and two months and right up until two and half weeks ago she was a good sleeper and napper.

Not really sure what has gone wrong or what i have done to change things, but it is like she has all of a sudden developed a phobia of going to bed she is completely scared of her bed.

This was her routine:

Awake: 6- 6.30 a.m.
Breakfast: 6.30-7 a.m.
Play/ activity
Lunch: 12 p.m.
Nap: 1.30 p.m.
Awake: 3p.m.
Play/activity
Dinner: 5 p.m.
Bath: 7 p.m.
Story & drink in nursery
Sleep: 7.30- 8 p.m.

Now she very rarely wants to nap if she does it's a quick nap of 10 or 40 Min's and that will only be in the car or push chair and then she wakes. Every time i put her in cot she screams and screams like she's scared. It's the same at night and in the middle of the night. She can be awake for 1-2 hours at night before finally dropping off. Sometimes she can wake 2 or three times.

I do leave her to cry and then me and my husband take it in turns to calm her. She will settle and then start to fall asleep but then when we lay her down she starts again.

There have been a few things that i think it might be but am not sure?

1) We started to read her a story before putting her to bed at night in her nursery about three weeks ago.?
2) The fire works started about this time and they did really scare her. However we let her watch a display from the window and have since brought some for her, which she really loved.?
3) We may have left her to cry for to long?
4) When her nanny babysits she tells her that she can have a bath and then she can stay up. (So she quite often walks around the house saying No bed, No bed)?
5) She may have gone through another development change? or is she suffering from separation anxiety (she has become a little clingy)

I have just tried to put her down again at 1.30 p.m.  she scream for 10 Min's i went in, had to change her, but her back she started again, went in again picked her up to comfort her she started to fall asleep, but her down, she started again. It's now 14.30 and i have given in and got her up.

Don't know what else to do. I am sorry it's a bit long and i have looked at other threads over the last few days, but still non the wiser. Can someone give some advise, please!

[becky1969]

I think you've probably got a combo of being OT (overtired) and SA (separation anxiety).  There's a pretty major phase of SA that occurs at age 2.  See this thread for more info: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80822.0

As for the OT, teething or developmental milestones can cause children to become more tired than normal.  I suspect that's what happened with her, and being on her normal routine just progressively put her into a bigger and bigger OT spiral.

I'd start by moving nap and bedtime earlier by at least 30 minutes, and probably closer to an hour.  It looks like right now she has an A time of 7 hours  before nap, which is probably waaaay too long.  I'd like to see a nap of closer to 12 with a waking of 6:30 am.  You'd probably have to move lunch earlier to 11 am, but that should be too much of a problem.  Bedtime should then be around 6:30 (if she wakes from nap at 2). 

You might get by with having nap be at 12:30 (waking at 2:30), and then I'd try for a bedtime of 7.  But I find an A time of 5-5.5 hours usually works best tat this age.

I think the NWs and screaming are just a very frustrated and tired little one.  BW does not advocate CIO at all, ever.  We believe it breaks trust.  So, it's really important to respond to her when she's crying.  At this age we suggest WI/WO (walk in/walk out) as a technique.  Basically, you go in, comfort your child, and then leave.  You go back in when she begins to cry again.  Check out the WI/WO board for more specific details on the technique.  But leaving her to cry can really exacerbate SA and can make the NWs last much longer than they might otherwise.  If changing her routine doesn't help the NWs, then we might try some GW (gradual withdrawal), since her trust is probably a bit shattered at the mo and she's also dealing with SA.

She may also be starting to get the 2 year old molars.  Those buggers begin to cause pain way before they start to peak out of the gums! So, you might try medicating a little with Motrin before bed and see if that changes anything at all.

Give these things a try, and let me know how you get on! We'll adjust as necessary.  Hang in there! 

[madelineowen]

 

Thank you so much for your advise i will give it a shot and let you know how things go.

I thought i was about to go mad, yesterday was a nightmare. No nap, bedtime was a complete nightmare she never went off until 9.30 p.m. and then she woke at 4 a.m. and refused to back to sleep. So i feel like the living dead at the mo.

Big thanks again.x

[becky1969]

Aw, poor you! And think of how awful your DD feels since she needs twice the sleep you do!  You guys will both be feeling better soon.  It's probably going to be another rough week, but after that I think you will see marked improvement.