Help, just started!

[Raychel]

Just read Secrets of the baby whisperer. I have tried using this method for the past 2 days. I had started doing CIO prior to reading this book for about 4 days, and I really don't think that is for us. My problem is now my 6 month old son, I'm pretty sure anyway, is afraid of his crib. He cries every time I put him in it. I'm not sure how to proceed. I have been doing the pu/pd thing since day before yesterday and while it can take a while and is an extremely loud process, he does eventually go to sleep. It took 30 minutes for one of his naps yesterday. I'm wondering if he is just getting so tired from crying that he passes out? Aren't they supposed to be calm and awake so you can leave their sight before they fall asleep? He is falling asleep while I am still there with my hand on his chest. It is just so hard to have him look at me and be so un-soothable, so up he goes, but as soon as he is quiet I put him down, he starts crying on the way down. Also, how to you deal with an early nap waker? This morning he is almost to 2 hrs., but typically it's only 1 hour naps. And at night, he starts to wake probably about 5 times, but before he does awaken all the way, I get up and put his binky in and lay my hand on him. Is this something I shouldn't be doing? I would love to get him to sleep through the night without me having to get up. He has also been waking earlier than his morning wake time. He will only lay in his crib so long before starting to fuss, he hasn't gone back to sleep after that either. I wish there was some sort of baby whisperer expert in our area that could come and watch what happens and guide me in what to do. Next best thing, any of you moms out there that can help, I'm begging!

[ryates71]

Hi Raychel,

Welcome to BW.  I came late to BW with DD but boy was I glad I found it!  My DS is slightly younger than yours so we are doing shh/pat rather than PU/PD when needed.  Hopefully one of the more experienced mums can offer more advice.  I know there is something in the "Baby Whisperer solves all your problems" book about regaining trust after CIO.  It will take time and patience but if you stick at it he will (eventually!) be able to put himself to sleep without you.  For now he may need you to stay with him as he needs your reassurance that you aren't going to leave him.  

Have you got him on a routine yet?  Sorting out the routine so that he has the right amount of Awake time so that he is not overtired often helps sort out short naps and also Night Wakings.  If you have routine please post your routine to see if you can get some advice.

Check out the FAQ pages and also http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=126141.0.

Good luck!  Let us know how you get on and keep posting.

Rachel

[~ Vik ~]

hi Raychel

Just waiting to see your routine to see if there's any tweaking we can do to help you out. Even if you don't stick to a routine just yet, could you post what yesterday looked like?

Hugs,
Vikki

[Raychel]

Sorry ladies! I got so wrapped up in getting as much reading on troubleshooting done that I forgot to see if anyone had written! So today's schedule was a little off due to last night...argh. He woke up at about 4:00 am and would not go back to sleep, just kept crying and crying for over an hour, so I gave in and took him into bed with me. From there this was our day, much better than it's been minus the night!!

8 am ~ Feed and awake time
9:15 am ~ Started wind down to put down for first nap, cried for 20 min. while doing pu/pd and shoosh patting
9:40 am ~ Asleep
10:20 am ~ Awake screaming, wouldn't go back to sleep, fed and decided to lengthen A time to experiment
12:15 pm ~ Started wind down for 2nd nap, cried for 5 min. while doing pu/pd and shoosh pat
12:25 pm ~ Asleep
2:25 pm ~ Awake but not screaming, fed, guess the longer A time was good!
4:35 pm ~ Was starting to have drowsy eyes in his jumper, laid in his crib, no crying, asleep 10 min. later!!!! hooray!
5:50 pm ~ Awake but not screaming, fed and A time
7:45 pm ~ Started night time routine, bath, baby massage, and in crib by 8:10 pm, asleep at 8:20 pm, no crying, omg!!

Should I stick to the 2 hr A time or perhaps go to 2h 15m or 30m? And at night I try not to nurse him, when he starts acting like he is going to wake, I quickly give him his binky before he wakes, the first time this happens is usually at around 2 am, after that it's about every 1.5 hrs and sometimes he will actually wake up fully. What should I be doing to help him sleep? Is a dreamfeed necessary at some point?

[ryates71]

Hi Raychel,

Well done you!  Sounds like you hit the sweet spot on his afternoon sleep and bed time.

For the morning sleep you started wind-down after 1hr 15min and he slept at about 1hr 45mins.  Also a short nap so this does sound like he was Under Tired.  I would try extending this Awake time and see how you get on.  
See http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64158.0 for info on average nap times for each age group.  Also http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=128419.0 for how to manage around short naps but looks like you did the right thing.

Rachel

[~ Vik ~]

Hi again

So happy that you had such a great day!

I agree with Rachel that that first nap is definitely UT.  I would continue to work on stretching those A times further, even 2 hours is really short for a 6mo old... To put it into perspective, I wouldn't be surprised to see your routine posted for a 4.5 month old   Normally you need to reduce A times after a short nap; the fact that he was able to do 2hrs after a 40 min nap tells me he could definitely do more when he's better rested! Don't stretch too fast though, as that can lead to OT. Even if they're ready for more A, you need to go slowly to allow their bodies time to get used to it. I would add 15 min to that first A and see how long a nap you get. If you get a short nap (which is likely), keep the other As at 2 hours.  Keep extending that first A by 10-15 min every 2 or 3 days until you get a good nap, then you'll know you've found the reight A.  Follow the same process with your other A times, but remembering to keep your As shorter after a short nap. Does that make sense?

To answer your other question, I fear that what you're doing might cause you some problems... Does your little guy fall asleep without the binky? My fear is simply that the binky is a prop, and that he's becoming dependent on you to replig it constantly. Either that, or its genuine hunger thats waking him, and he keeps waking every 1.5h because that need hasn't been met.  Have to tried feeding him on the first wake? If he takes a full feed, it's hunger, if not, its likely the prop.  Rememner though, at this sge, it could also be teething, or gas, etc. Finally, by jumping in before he wakes you're not allowing him the opportunity to soothe himself back to sleep, and you may actually be disrupting him. Everyone wakes at night (adults too and babies need to have the skills to put themselves back to sleep when they wake.

What do you think?
Talk soon

[Raychel]

Yes, that does make sense, I will be trying to stretch his A times today and see how it goes As far as the binky goes, I was worried that it may be a prop. He is teething, he got his first 2 teeth at 5 months. He typically doesn't suck on the binky when falling asleep, he chews it. Though at night when he is half asleep, he does suck on it, but never keeps it for long. Is there something else I could give him to soothe him to sleep initially for bedtime and naps, or should I steer clear of that? I have a little lovie animal thing that is about the size of my hand that he likes. The only reason he seems to like the binky to fall asleep is to chew on it. It could possibly be hunger, just barely over a week ago he slept in bed with me and was used to just nuzzling over and eating whenever he started to stir.

Finally, we had a pretty good night last night, or at least I would say! He was asleep at 8:20pm, he started to wake at around 11:30pm, tried to let him put himself back to sleep by waiting around 6 minutes. He started crying louder so I got up and gave binky and laid my hand on him for a minute, back to sleep. Same thing at 1:45 am, and once more at about 6 am. Up for the day at 7:15 am!! Much better than yesterday!!! I am so thankful to you both for your continued help and support in this, it can be so stressful to get through the rough spots, not to mention the sleep deprivation, lol! I keep telling myself that it's only temporary and it will get better, and it is!

[~ Vik ~]

So glad you had a better night!!    :.   Any reduction in the nws is fantastic!

You could definitely try giving him the lovie and see how that works for him.  It took awhile for my ds to figure out what to do with it, bit I just kept putting it in his hands at naps/bedtimes and he took to it within a couple weeks.  You're halfway there if he already likes it!
Another thing you could do is take a small muslin cloth and see a whole bunch of binkies to it... That way if he can find the cloth at night he has a binkie! And it's a lot easier to find the cloth than an individual one lost in the crib somewhere.  Again, it will take a while for him to getthe hang of it, but that might help you.  Instead of replugging, you could give him the cloth, then guide his hand to the cloth so he can grab it himself... (I can't take credit for this idea, I read it on another thread!  )

Good luck with your A times today! And hopefully you will have another good night tonight.  I'm sending sleepy vibes to your lo
Let us know how you're doing when you get time!
Ttys

[Raychel]

First nap of the day was good, 2 hrs! Then I lost track of time and tried putting him to sleep after 2.5 hrs of A time, apparently that was too much. Screaming/crying and not wanting to go to sleep led me to end up picking him up and then trying again at 3 hrs of A time. More screaming/crying but just passed out after 15 minutes of me not giving up. We'll see how long this nap goes for, so far it's been 20 min. So if he was not wanting to go to sleep after 2.5-3 hrs. of A time and a 2 hr. nap prior to that, would that indicate OT?

That's a good idea with the cloth thing, I will have to dig out the other binkies we have. He normally won't take a regular binky, just the natursutten one I got for him. But if he has many of them and has something to hold onto and grab while he chews, maybe it will work better.

[~ Vik ~]

That was a great first nap!! You must not have even known what to do with all that Y time LOL

I think he was definitely OT after that long A.  Good for you not giving up though!  Los are so much harder to settle when they're OT, but they need the nap so badly! I think that he can do 2.5h, but that he can't make that big of a jump at once. Even though he had that great first nap, his body is used to being tired after 1.5-2 hours, so such a big jump led to OT iykwim. I would keep your first A at the time you did today, and maybe try a second A of just 2h5m or 10m, including wind down, etc. Do that for 3 days, then try 2h10m or 15m for 3 days, stretching it just an extra 10m or so every three days until you get a good second nap too.  Don't touch your third A time until you get that one all set.  Once you're getting a good second nap you can work on the next A... What do you think?

Hope the rest of your day is going well!  

[Raychel]

That sounds like a good plan to me! I think I'm going to have to look for a thread about wind down activites, I try to rock him or play quietly in a darkened room, or sing/read, he just doesn't have the patience for it when he is tired, he gets mad, lol!

What do you mean exactly by leaving my 3rd A time alone? Like, don't try to extend it past 2 hrs?

Thanks again for your help!

[~ Vik ~]

LOL, I know what you mean I have a very short wind down with ds because he either gets cranky (like he knows I'm trying to prep him for sleep) or excited (trying to eat the books I'm reading, or tackle the stuffed animals we're cuddling)... Either way, not helpful! We just do a diaper change, look out the window, turn off lights, close curtains, sing our song, some shh/butt pat/jiggle and into the crib. We recently started playing music during naps too as he will be starting day care shortly and they play music there. There are threads about wind downs, and I think info in the naps or general sleep FAQs too. (I will look for you and post the link later

I wouldn't adjust the third A until you start getting a good 2nd nap.  Leave it at 2h while you're extending the second A.  Easier to prevent OT when you're tweaking a bit at a time

Hope everything's going well, and talk soon!