Many, many (((hugs))), Christine!!
This is so hard. Liana has given you such wonderful advice! I agree with enforcing some 'rules' for nap time and bed time if only to help yourself. So, you know how long the WIWO will last, etc. In terms of set times, I think that it's easier to do the set time on one nap or when you're solidly in two, but during the transition, you have to be a little flexible. But, in terms of being set on 'this is nap time, this is what's going to happen,' it is best for everyone!
Here's what I think from yesterday: she's way, way, way OT. That's the reason she's fighting you all the time. She was in bed at 7 pm the other night and then woke at 4:45 am. That's less than 10 hrs, when typically she's had up to 12. So, when she fought you on the morning nap, I think that's what's going on. Claire definitely does this when OT; the minute she knows we're headed to her room for a nap, she starts to squirm and squiggle and do anything to get out of it. And that's where those nap time 'rules' come in. After doing WIWO last month, she knows what's going to happen at nap time and whether she fights it or not, eventually she needs to sleep.
So, it ended up being a 5 hr A for Sophie in the morning and then only a 20 min nap. Then, after another 3 hr 15 min A time, I think she was probably so OT, she just fought and fought the pm nap. I know it seems so illogical, as she is so tired, but I've found that the more OT Claire gets, the worse she fights. I've read it's kind of like the brain chemicals released in a 'fight or flight' situation. Their little bodies are trying to keep them going on adrenaline as they don't have much left.
It really is hard, and we've been there so many times! Unfortunately, the car is my go to at that point, and I know it doesn't work for you.
My DH was a lot like yours in those situations. He thought it was ridiculous to be waking her when she was obviously so tired. So, a couple times (when she was similar in age to Sophie) we did let Claire sleep as long as she wanted in the morning. And, actually, it was easier for me to read her tired cues after the longer nap, so I'd put her down again in the afternoon and she'd have another CN. Overall, the morning CN did her better, but it was so hard to read cues after that, that during those bad OT loops, it made everything more stressful. I soooo know how you feel!
So, the options you and your DH can do are to continue the short morning nap and longer afternoon nap, but I think with shorter A times. What happens if you put Sophie down considerably earlier (i.e. will she just roll around til she falls asleep or will she be upset)? Or, let her sleep when she needs it as much as you can get (like Liana has suggested), and once you feel she is catching up, go back to the morning CN, longer pm nap.
The reason I keep pushing for 2 naps is that I wish someone would have encouraged me to keep them as long as possible. I was frustrated just like you, but Claire wasn't FULLY ready for one nap til much later and still needs 2 every once in a while when she's super OT. If you do start another thread, title it just a bit different, and I promise I won't reply (for awhile, at least
). I'm now invested and want to continue to support you!
