Getting him to the table...

[Mom to M&M]

Oh both my kids come to the table for dinner time (though DS is rarely happy about it these days LOL). But sometimes they don't eat all that much and if that's the case they can get down after a reasonable amount of time and if they are truly hungry they can sit back in their chairs later and eat a reheated meal. But they only get one chance for that - it's not down, back up for two bites, down and up again, etc.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Jess, can't wait until those kinds of conversations can take place and not just shrieking and crying

It does happen I promise!!

FWIW Wendy I don't reheat meals either. I don't know if it's a spirited thing or just a Colin thing, but if you give him an inch he'll take 5 miles. Clearly defined and consistent boundaries are critical in our house especially with things like this. Because Colin was a bad refluxer his diet was rather limited for a while, until he outgrew it but he still does have flares believe it or not. He still won't have anything to do with a tomato - too much acid. He still prefers food rather bland which DH and I definitely do not share. (Can't remember if Finn had reflux... ?) So Colin he did have separate meals when he was really little, but we graduated to him eating what we eat unless I'm making something that I know he can't eat or genuinely doesn't like, like if I do a curry or something tomato-ey or spicy. Then I am happy to fix him a little something else, and that only happens maybe once a week anymore. He knows that what's on his plate is dinner and he can eat it or not, but that's dinner and now is the time to eat it.

[Tweakster]

Interesting.  He had reflux yes.  But he will eat oranges and acidic fruit without issue.  And loves tomato sauces.  But not tomatoes and he hates spice of any kind.

[momtonb&ab]

I don't know if it's a spirited thing or just a Colin thing, but if you give him an inch he'll take 5 miles.

i think it is an age thing - Niklas is not spirited but if you give him an inch just once, once only, he will push for weeks for the 5 miles.   we are pretty structured about meals because of that - get up, eat, get down.  if you choose not to eat (they aren't fussy eaters so there isn't anything particular they don't like/can't eat in the regular repertoire of what we eat) then you can sit and wait until we are done as a family. and we don't reheat or eat again until the next mealtime.  i am not a short order chef! 

[Mom to M&M]

DD was a refluxer and still has flares at 5 also - and still can't deal with certain textures - mashed potatoes make her gag to this day...

[Mom to M&M]

Been thinking more about this while running tonight LOL (there was nothing good to watch and I was on the treadmill - boring) and I guess I just don't see it as a short order chef thing. IMO family mealtimes are great and important when possible and I certainly would ask my children to sit at the table during dinner. But I don't want them to feel like they have to eat at that time or not at all - I've seen that sort of thing set up unhealthy eating habits and IMO it can lead to kids losing the natural ability to follow their bodies hunger. That's why with DD she sits with us while eating and on the rare occasion she isn't very hungry we keep her food either out/covered or in the fridge and she can have one chance to have it reheated later that evening. We won't make her something else to eat or let her get up/down from the table but if she's (and later if DS does this) truly just not hungry at that time we do respect that. It doesn't happen often - probably less than once a month.

[Tweakster]

Karen I think that works well if your time isn't so limited.  As Finn gets older we'll probably be way more flexible but it's clear he's hungry but is distracted by other things so is actually putting his hunger off and then getting so hungry that he shovels food in later and puts too much in his mouth.  So for now we need to stick to a routine with him so we can get him into bed more easily.

This is all moot anyway - NW last night and the kid is teething again.  He has a top right 2nd molar poking through and a mouth ulcer and a red cheek - could even explain the tomato given the mouth ulcer.

[okinawamama]

"Start as you mean to go on" has been my mantra for parenting lately, and I think it applies here.

I think if in the future you plan to be a family that eats meals in a more casual way, ie: prepare it and as people are ready they grab dinner, maybe eat at the table, maybe not,  then I say don't fight him on it.  However, if in the future you see your meals happening as an entire family, everyone sitting down at the same time, eating together and so on, then I say it's something to start now.

We plan to do family meals, and so regardless if Ambrose wants to sit down, he does, sometimes it involves a little fight, but so do many of the things right now . He may not always eat tons, but he does sit with us. I view meal times as a teaching tool on so many levels, language development, social courtesies, fine motor activities....so not only is it a time to connect, but a time to teach life skills.

As far as getting him there, Ambrose isn't as spirited as Finn, so my ideas may not work. Ambrose currently "helps" set the table, usually he puts out cloth napkins, which more often then not are all placed in a heap on a chair , or he lays out forks/spoons (again, no where near where they are supposed to go, but he's helping)...I just try and get him involved. Sometimes it doesn't work, and he doesn't want to come to the table, but he comes anyway, just like when he doesn't want to sleep, but he needs to, it's not really a negotiable thing here.

Having said all that, when teething hits, all bets are off lol

[Mom to M&M]

One red cheek and given Finn's temperament in general, in addition to Motrin/regular meds I'd do a chamomilla as a single remedy - 30C - up to 4 times a day if needed.