OT almost-3yo wakes up light sleeping 1yo in the AM! Grr!!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Wow, I can actually post about both of my kids on the toddler board now.  Crazy!!

This problem has been going on for a while now and I keep thinking I'm going to fix it but it's still going and it's starting to drive me nuts!   Austin has been waking earlier and earlier, which I know is OT.  His behavior has also been miserably OT lately.  He's crying about absolutely everything.  Exhausting.  His teacher said when DH picked up just now that Austin wasn't himself today.  Not surprising to me at all since we've been seeing that increasingly in the last few days.

Here's his general routine:

6ish: A
12:30ish: S
45 min nap
7ish: in his room
8ish: S

1-2 times per week he either refuses his nap or for some reason we have to skip it.  He usually does ok with it but then the next day he's a disaster.  We usually let him sleep 1-1.5h the day after a no-nap day.  That doesn't seem to be enough to help him catch up, though.  The OT seems to be building.

Here are the last 2 days:

Mon:

6:10: A
12:40: in his room, total monkey, absolutely would not sleep
1:15: got him out
6: in his room, total monkey
7:15: finally asleep

Tues:
6: A
12:45: S
2: A (on his own)
7: in his room
7:55: S

Wed:
6: A

So here's the other trouble, besides the fact that he's so OT.  When he wakes up in the morning we've tried keeping his door closed but then he grabs the handle and bangs and Grace wakes up.  If we leave his door open then he comes out, slams his door, and runs down the hall to our room.  Then Grace wakes up.  She sometimes can go back to sleep but she would probably sleep until close to 7 if he didn't wake her up.  This is SO frustrating to me!  I certainly don't like being woken up at 6 (esp when I've gotten in bed at 3:30 from work! ) but it really bothers me that he's waking her up since then it screws up her whole routine for the day.  I really thought when we moved to a bigger house that we wouldn't have this issue!! Grr.  So I have white noise going in her room - last night I turned it up really loud to see if that would help.  I dont know if she's just a really light sleeper or what.

Any thoughts on routine tweaking for the boy or how to keep the girl asleep in the mornings?  TIA!!

[*Becky*]

can you get A in his room earlier and so to bed earlier H is 3.5 and he is also OT atm. He is waking at 6am and the last 2 nights he has been asleep by 6.30pm latest.

As for waking G - do you have white noise in her room??

We have the same situation but it is M waking H a lot of the time - it sucks!

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Yeah we can try but he often still doesn't go to sleep until close to 8. 

Yes, white noise in Grace's room and I have it up SO loud!!

[Tweakster]

I think it's the nap.  If he's not going to sleep until 8, it sounds like UT with a nap.  If he's not going to sleep until 8 without a nap, then it's likely OT.

Now Austin is different than Finn.  He has always done reasonable nights and shows that he can tack.  So I'd say without the nap, if he's up at 6, do a 5 p.m. bedtime.  If he then does 12 hrs, you can aim for bedtime at 6 after a while.  Eventually you will be able to eek 15 mins on here and there.

Frankly we had no luck with any length of nap at this point, it just had to go.  And even with the crappy EW, he's still much better off without it.  He is in a way better mood and happier overall.

[C_mother]

Would it be worth trying a groclock so that he stays in his room until you get him? Then you could bring him out quietly. Maybe a towel on the door so that it cannot be slammed. Earlier/later bedtime for DD so that their routines work better together?

[Tweakster]

Yes the towel on the to of the door!  Vicki suggested that in another thread I think.  Really good idea!!

I too think a Gro-clock might work with Austin.

If Grace is dropping to 1 nap, I think their bedtimes will end up meshing anyway...

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

Would it be worth trying a groclock so that he stays in his room until you get him?

Yeah we have one but he's totally not into it.    He just doesn't really care.  He wants to come out and that's that!  Sometimes we can put him back in there and he'll read for a bit, but by then he's woken up the girl.

Maybe a towel on the door so that it cannot be slammed.

You know, I thought of putting one of those door stopper childproofing things we have on his door at night once he's asleep.  Might try that one. 

If Grace is dropping to 1 nap, I think their bedtimes will end up meshing anyway...

Yeah I think we will get there in the next month or 2. 

If he's not going to sleep until 8, it sounds like UT with a nap.  If he's not going to sleep until 8 without a nap, then it's likely OT.

This is the thing, some days it's OT some days it's UT and his behavior is overall OT.

Last night he was asleep at 8.  2NWs and was up just before 6.  Cried a ton before it was even 8am!    Although then I did take him to the dentist and he did amazingly well.  I was shocked considering how things have been going with him.

I'm so nervous to mess with the nap more since he's so OT.  Do I need to cut it?  Get rid of it?  My gut just says that he really needs it.  He's SO OT and he's such a mess on the days he doesn't nap.  And the day after, for that matter.  Maybe a nap every other day?  And as EBT as we can swing?  A lot of times I think we miss his window on a no-nap day, even when we put him down by 6:30 and then he's running around being a madman until he crashes at 8 and he's up by 6 or earlier.

[Tweakster]

Frankly the nap did us no favours at the same point you are at now, we were caught in the same OT so needs the sleep but UT with the nap and then getting OT overall because of late bedtime/early waking.  We yanked it like a pointy wart hair lol  But sure, you can try to wean him gently.  No I wouldn't reduce the length at this point, pretty fruitless.  I would try throwing in a nap every couple of days.  Not even every other day.

I absolutely believe you are missing his window (only because we do in our house all the time)...but can you actually do anything about it?  Not so much.  Not unless you watch his every move and be there to throw him in bed at his first afternoon lull.  It's really hard when you are a working parent!  But typically, on a no nap day, aim for having him asleep at 11 hrs, no more than 12 (not even by a hair).

He's not Spirited but he's really reminding me of Finn with his ability to distract when out of the house and be a total demon at home lol  Finn would have been all smiles for the dentist too, he's so easily distracted when he's interested in something new.  But then once we get home he's reminded how tired he is and decides to take it out on the household lol

[Love, laughter, & PJs]

But sure, you can try to wean him gently.  No I wouldn't reduce the length at this point, pretty fruitless.  I would try throwing in a nap every couple of days.  Not even every other day.

Yeah I guess this is what we're going to try.  Makes me so nervous - argh!!  He's just such a disaster right now.    I haven't heard him cry this much in ages!  I feel so bad for him and at the same time I'm tired of hearing it! 

But typically, on a no nap day, aim for having him asleep at 11 hrs, no more than 12 (not even by a hair).

We'll try but this is just so hard.  I know it's a constant struggle at your house, too.  It's just nearly impossible some days and then it just all spirals out of control, yk? 

ability to distract when out of the house and be a total demon at home lol  Finn would have been all smiles for the dentist too, he's so easily distracted when he's interested in something new.  But then once we get home he's reminded how tired he is and decides to take it out on the household lol

Exactly!  I totally think this is what happened this morning.  I shouldn't have been surprised but I so was!